Observations of an Invisible Woman

Archive for the tag “swirling for BW”


A letter from a long time reader:

“Dear DOAN,

I’ve been reading your last few posts and thinking about this new phenomenon of white men suddenly wanting to be considered as potential romantic partners for us. I am a black American woman who’s never been married or have any children. I’ve stayed quiet but listened to the women on Youtube urging us to date out and find new men to consider.

For me it’s simple. I would happily consider any race of men except white. It doesn’t matter if he’s an American or from Europe. That’s a no for me. And I’ll tell you why. I can’t feel good about being with a white male and having his children after all that was done to us. This man represents everything that hurt my entire bloodline and now I’m suppose to forget about it and just give in.

I’m still hopeful that a decent black or brown man will be available and we can build a life together and have melaninated children. The men on these channels call women like me racist for not wanting them. Are they serious? This is the very thing that turns me off about this over privileged race of men who think that just because they want us publicly now we should give in. How convenient that they chose to forget about there ancestor horrific deeds and the devastating after effects. I know quite a few black Americans that feel this way but they stay quiet out of fear. Thank you for providing a safe space for us to say these things.

I love your new direction by the way. Thank you for finally addressing these topics!

Signed “X”

Thank you for writing to me.

How do you ladies feel about this? You can be anonymous if you wish. Simply say, “Please keep me anonymous” when you post.

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