Observations of an Invisible Woman

Archive for the tag “interracial relationships”

The Double Standard

Double Standard in action

… As I see it black women aren’t marring outside of their race in vast numbers. We are waiting at the expense of never having a man or looking outside of the country. I know a sista who will go walking in a mall with a white guy from her work and she get these brothas who 1/2 the time are with white or Asian women, will find a way to come up to her and ask her what she is doing with that white man? They’ll be all up in her face and trying to talk to her the minute they see her. So even though black men date out, they do not like it when black women do. —- Honeytreebee

Sound familiar?

The universe and its melaninated peoples are now more in sync than ever. 2013 marked a new awakening for those of us that can “see.” We are saying the same things word for word, having the same conversations from all over the globe, wondering about the same issues and constantly asking, “What’s going on?”

When I read the comment posted above, I smiled to myself. Not because it was funny but because I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine about this uncomfortable topic. She told me of many, many, many sisters that are just fed up of the Double Standard that we (black women) face in regards to interracial relationships and are no longer waiting for a “good black man” to marry. They been deceived, heartbroken and disappointed too many times and have decided to find “love, respect and affection” (her words) outside of their race.

Why is it that only black males are allowed and even encouraged to fornicate, marry and spawn with white women (and any other woman for that matter) and expect the black woman to “understand his nature” and “put up with it” and “take him back”, but when she imitates his behaviour, mostly out of frustration and disenfranchisement, and has a white husband or lover, he becomes irate, demands an explanation and berates her for her betrayal of their race? 

That was the gist of our discussion and she really laid it down for me.


“Truth, I’m tellin’ ya, they’ve been doing this shit since the plantation. In fact, when miscegenation laws were removed, that was the first thing they did…seek out the white woman…I mean, even white people notice it.”

I listened and cringed as she spoke her mind quite harshly, only interrupting her to remind her that the black woman’s role was to be the glue that held the family together. She cut me off.

“What what about the his role, dammit?”

This topic will no doubt be inflammatory and painful so I’m asking the black family to be mindful of words which have the power to hurt us all.


7 Easy Steps to Help Counter White Supremacy

Now…I know what you’re thinking. 7 steps, eh? Only 7 measly steps and poof! Racism is over. No. Sorry. Racism will always be here. But you can take control of your actions and help to counter white supremacy. I’ve been writing a lot about what racism is and what it does and how it hurts us.

But, I’ve never given you a worthwhile possible solution to “the problem with no name.” Well, here they are:

Step One: Stop fornicating with white people

Sound easy right? No. We been brainwashed to believe in colour-blindness so we “don’t notice that someone is white”. Which is absurd. Of course we do. Colour is the FIRST thing you notice, especially if it’s different from yours. I am going to say something harsh and sorry if I hurt your feelings but it’s true:

You cannot sleep with racism and fight it at the same time. That does not exist. Mull this over…you’ll find it’s true. Still have doubts? Listen to the man who tried:

Step Two: Stop spending money in their stores and shop in ours and ours ALONE:

Black folks have nearly a trillion dollars in spending power (GNBP) and corporately, we’re still broke as a joke. What you are saying [stop giving them our money] has been said since the 1940s, even before my old butt was born—GreeneInk

{Thanks Onitaset for the links. P.S. A lot of black bloggers have done well selling their goods on their websites and on Youtube. That’s how my artist friend got the word out. Hint for new entrepreneurs: Word of mouth is still the best advertising in the world}

Step Three: Keep communication with them at an absolute minimum. 

Sound easy right? No. Blacks love to show-off. “Look what I have!” Stop talking to others about what you have and keep your mouth shut. They never tell you their business.

Step Four: Black women, Jah made you beautiful. Stop buying hair.


Asian shops (the government gives them grants to open shops in your neighbourhoods to take your money!) are in the Negro Business and yet have no respect for the majority of their customers. Love your natural locks! A co-worker in South Carolina admitted to me she spent 200.00 a month on fake hair from Korean shops and they were rude to her! Then she needed to borrow money from her sister to pay rent. *sigh*

Step Five: Turn off that damn Tell-Lie-Vision!

Why would anyone need to see a Minstrel Show?

Step Six: Learn European History

Why am I asking you to study whites? Because they don’t change their tactics…ever. They just get more technological and sophisticated. Study Hitler and Margaret Sanger and you’ll learn eugenics. Study J. Edgar Hoover and you’ll learn Marcus Garvey’s downfall. Study Albert Pike and you’ll learn how “cops” came to be. Study Sam Colt and you’ll learn why guns were made. And study the Tuskegee Experiment and you’ll understand why AIDS, Swine Flu, Bird Flu was man made.

Step Seven: Stop calling each other niggers, bitches and whatever dirty words pop out of your mouth

Do I really need to explain this?

The rest is up to you.


Why So Few Black Women Marry White Men

*deep breath*

This will be a hard post, so being the woman that I am, I’m going to dive in with both feet.

Why are so few black women marrying white men? Is it because black women find white men unattractive? No. I don’t think so. In fact, to be brutally honest, I find this man sexy as hell:

But…as sexy as Mr. Bale is, if he was available and wanted me and was a “regular guy”, I would never marry him. Why? Fear. Simple fear.

But Truthbetold, what fear are you talking about?”

My Supposition:

1. In every black woman, whether or not she admits it or is AWARE of it, lies a deep seated fear that one day, the white man that she marries, the father of her children, the man that she built her life with, the man that celebrated her birthday, job promotion and summer home purchase, the man that held her close when she cried, the man that made sweet passionate love to her, will suddenly one day, during a heated fight, which all couples have, open his mouth and call her a nigger. And it will destroy her.

2. Black women, being the subject of the master’s rape fetish, will equate intimacy with a white man to the master’s subjugation.

3. They are not attracted to them emotionally or spiritually.

4. They fear repercussions of the supremacist system.

5. They fear repercussions and ridicule of the white man’s family and friends and their family and friends.

6. They feel they cannot “compete” with white women.

7. They genuinely love their black man and can’t see themselves with a white man.

8. They feel white men are “emotionally empty.”

9. They think white men will not desire them as “wife” material.

10. They are simply not interested.


This post hurt. A lot. It was hard to write and the comments will be brutal but…in my goal to understand and conquer white supremacy, I will never stop exploring the sickness of it.

Any thoughts?


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