diaryofanegress

Observations of an Invisible Woman

Archive for the tag “black women and black male relationships”

Revelations 2:1

 

 

2020 is almost here.

 

As I reflect on 2019, many things come to mind.  A few of them are the dozens of private letters I have received from black women on their struggles, their losses, their wins and their revelations. The most powerful women on the face of the Earth is at a crossroads again.

 

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, the fate of the black race, and incidentally the human race itself, lies in your hands. I’ve taken some time to read heartfelt comments from various sources. I’ve had phone calls with friends of mine, tired and worn out, looking for a different route. I’ve watched silently as women who look like me struggle with the most important decision of their lives.

 

Where do we go from here? 

 

Our eyes were FORCED open by the very men in our communities and families.  My own family member commented on a particular disdain for his Mother yet called to borrow money to fund his non-black woman’s lifestyle. An affluent black male insulted my appearance in public in favour for his white wife, but then went on to explain the importance of black women supporting his company.

 

He did this with a serious face and meant every single word while his white wife stared at me.

 

This reminds me of a woman’s private email:

 

“Black men really do believe that they own us. They have a right to us. We are not deserving of being fought for like every other woman on this planet. We’re just supposed to be there for them with money, sex, a place to live, encouragement, conversation, meals and all the help they need. But it’s never returned. And if we ask for it, like any sensible woman should, we’re Gold diggers and we’re in cahoots with the evil white man. The harsh truth is, they hate us and it’s time we realized it and accepted it.”

 

In 2020, it is my hope that the black woman will recognize her full potential and begin making life altering choices. Why? Because beginning in March-April of 2020, Trump will be cutting food stamps and changing rules as to who can apply. Section 8 vouchers will be removed from the books in certain heavily populated black areas. WIC will cease for low income mothers. Reduced lunches and free lunches will no longer be available. Teachers are leaving the profession due to violent black children and schools are shutting down due to lack of funding. My very good friend and blogger told me that black boys are having sex in stairwells, prostituting young girls of all races for weed and hitting their teachers. THEY ARE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!

 

All these factors spell utter disaster for the black woman who is left alone to raise her illegitimate children BY HERSELF, who is working two part time jobs at 8.25 per hour and cannot afford to pay rent BY HERSELF, who is left with 60,000 college loans and has Debt Collectors calling her phone every day demanding to know when their money will be sent, who is caring for her sick aunt and can’t afford to buy her diabetes medicine.

 

The black man, despite his rhetoric, left the black woman the moment he figured out that she was holding him back.  He knew that he would be better able to assimilate into white society and saw his ticket out in her:

 

Image result for white woman

 

And made absolutely no apologies for his decision.

 

And neither should you, Black Woman.

 

Rough times are ahead. As I travel, I see the raw evidence in the downtown Portland area. Homelessness is skyrocketing, rent is out of control, the drug crisis is unmatched and it has become a war zone to survive. Survival is a funny thing with humans. It’s a natural instinct or at least it should be. Our natural instinct to live has been quelled over the past 400 years. It has been deliberately manipulated to work against our favour.

 

The time for you, black woman, to decide if you want to live and thrive is now.

 

Don’t get caught up in this game of “Reel them back in when it suits us only to throw them away when it doesn’t.” The future is looking very unkind for a certain type of black woman.

 

Decide which type you want to be.

 

 

 

Exodus

Image result for women walking out the door

 

 

I wish Miss Pam was here to talk to.

I’ve been going around in circles about this topic for about 3 years. It’s a sensitive topic. It’s a divisive topic. But it’s a lethal and necessary topic.

 

Over the last 3 years, I’ve witnessed a silent but dangerous exodus in the black community.

With black women.

Yes…the one group least likely to date out, sex out, marry out, procreate out.

Black women are leaving black men.

And they’re not coming back.

 

 

A few years ago, I was in Philly looking around at the new upscale shops and eateries. I strolled around the Rittenhouse and Downtown Market East Street eager to see what was new and what survived. I witnessed, with my own two eyes, black women, mostly young-ish, some middle aged, adorably pretty, mainly slender, natural-haired, well put together, educated, soft, feminine, girl-next-doorish, soft spoken, with bangin’-ass bodies with non-black, mostly white males.

 

They were in their own world.

They window shopped together.

Laughed at their own jokes.

Held hands.

Shared coffee.

 

One white man handed a black woman a tissue for her runny nose. It was an intimate, sweet gesture.

I sat behind one black female, ( I think) Hispanic male. They sat and spoke quietly to each other. He paid the check with a credit card and not once did she ever reach for her pocketbook.

My observations heightened over the years when I saw black college girls and women with their white and (mostly brown-skinned) Asian boyfriends. At the market, they stroll hand in hand looking at any little thing and speaking amongst themselves.

I spoke to a former Black Power, fist in the air, black female about what was going on.

Her simple response?

“We’re sick of the bullshit.”

 

Miss Pam and I used to speak on many topics like this privately and wondered what would become of the black race if the last line of defense, the black female, said “fuck this shit, I choose happiness over struggle. ”

 

Over the past 10 to 15 years, I’ve watched (and read) as black men took to a PUBLIC forum to tell the entire world that their women, the womb, the vagina, the cooking, the house keeping, the sex , the conversation and the very existence of their mirror image isn’t worth a goddamn.

I’ve heard horror stories from my own readers about the abuse, the beatings, the killings, the rape and molestation from the men in their family and neighbourhoods. I’ve listened to the rantings of angry and depressed black men who blame the black female for his failings in life all because she wears too much make up and has on a hair weave.

Never mind the fact that she allows him to live in her house for free, eat her food, sleep on her couch/ bed, provides him with heat so he won’t freeze and gives him sex on the regular.

None of that matters.

It’s her penchant for weave that’s destroying the earth.

 

To be frank and brutally blunt:

If this continues, we’re fucked.

Fucked.

Once you take away the womb from a Clan, Tribe, Community, it perishes.

Just ask the desperate Chinese males that are running around the planet asking any female to marry and give them a baby. They kidnap wives from Thailand, Malaysia and the Philippines and beg them not to run away.

They travel to Africa and marry black women who are left defenseless and alone to inherit their Matrilineal Resources.

 

All the while, I have one question to ask.

Where are the black men?

What are they doing to prevent the top tier of their women from leaving?

The baby-mammas will always be available. They know this.

I’m talking about the woman you can bring home to meet your mother and have her secretly ask her about her ring size.

She is leaving.

I’ve been told by one black female reader on here that she’d rather be with the historical oppressor and be taken care of and her needs met than be with a black man who refuses to build with her. Refuse to provide for her. Her last boyfriend told her even though he makes really good money in Sanitation, he’s not supporting a stay at home wife and future mother of his children!

 

This post is painful to write. Painful to re-read. But necessary.

 

If we as a collective don’t get it together and begin to hold OURSELVES accountable for our degenerate behaviour, we’re not gonna make it.

 

It begins with loving the image in the mirror.

 

 

 

P.S.

 

This post will be heavily moderated. DO NOT come on here with accusations of bedwenchery and how black women plotted with white males during slavery to kill black males.  Even though my blog doesn’t typically attract certain black people, every once in awhile, I do get them.

The purpose of this post is to inspire deep thought and self reflection. 

 

 

 

 

 

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