diaryofanegress

Observations of an Invisible Woman

Masculinity Redefined

 

 

When I was growing up, the men in my family all had skills. They built homes, laid down steel foundations, they cooked, worked 2 and 3 jobs and provided, as best as they could, for their families. Was life hard?

Absolutely.

Being black and male wasn’t easy. But they did what they could. I remember my uncle looking for work in another state to keep food on his family’s table. I remember my brother, being young, running home from school to toil on the neighbour’s farm.

All around me were men. Not males. MEN. I felt safe. Secure. I used to jump rope all around the block and never gave one thought to anything bad happening. I kept my femininity all throughout my entire life and it attracted men of all sorts that enjoyed it. As I grew and traveled, I became aware of how different the black community was in comparison to other communities.

Women of other communities were carefree. They jogged at night. Roller bladed through parks with their dogs. Met friends for coffee and went to spa’s to get their hair, nails and eyebrows done. Some had housekeeper’s that came once a week and the very well off had Farm-to-Table Chefs that prepared “organic” meals. I met one white female from the Upper East Side that had a Jamaican nanny that did most of the work raising her child.

These women looked happy, They looked fit. Some even had plastic surgery to correct “flaws”.

Then I looked at the black female community throughout the Diaspora. 

We looked fat. Unkempt. Hostile. Angry. Depressed. Our hair was a Goddamn mess with missing hairlines and ridiculous looking wigs and weaves. Long eagle-like fingernails with too much fake jewelry adorned our hands. Our clothes were ill fitting and out of proportion for our bodies, and let us not forget the HORDES of bastard children that clung to us.

The once mighty black woman who birthed an entire nation was raggedy and disheveled. We are now poor and getting poorer by the generations. We have almost ZERO collective wealth and the strain of raising children by ourselves in a black hating world have taken a toll on our mental health. We are now insane.

The black woman is now a train wreck to be used and abused then discarded like a snot-filled Kleenex. But, as my mind works, I sit down to ponder why. What has happened to us? Why are we the scourge of the entire universe? What is the missing piece of the puzzle that we cannot, or won’t, connect?

 

That brings me to my point.

 

What is Femininity?

 

Femininity is a softness. It’s a relaxation. It’s a gracefulness. It’s unhurried. It is a knowing feeling that if you fall, you will be caught. It is a sweet, genuine surrender to the unknown. This is what makes Masculinity thrive. The two cannot exist without the other.

Now, being Feminine has nothing to do with fatness or shortness. It’s not about being pretty with the right shade of lipstick. A female bodybuilder can be feminine. It is a characteristic that is CREATED for you from birth by the men in your tribe so you, the female, can flourish.

 

So then, what is Masculinity?

 

Masculinity is the exact opposite.

It has naught to do with physical strength. It has naught to do with penis size. It’s not about how many women you can sex. It’s not about your income. It’s not about having swag. Or about being able to dance. It’s not about getting girls pregnant. Or wearing the latest designer shoes that your community didn’t manufacture. It’s not about being labeled handsome. Sexy. Hunky. Fuckable.

 

Masculinity is about being able to foster a safe environment for the most important people in your life. It’s about being able to give your woman, your children and your community all the provisions so they can lead the next generation.

 

I sometimes think about that young girl at McDonald’s who was assaulted by that white man who nearly dragged her over the counter. I secretly cried when I watched that video. I felt her every emotion. I also know why he felt that he could do that in a black establishment as opposed to a Mexican one. I think about things that like a lot nowadays.

 

 

The time has come for black women throughout the Diaspora to begin making changes in their lives. I feel a radical sense of urgency that time is short. I hope you can feel it too for your sake. Remember what the esteemed Dr. Baruti said in one lecture:

“There is no written law anywhere in the Universe that states that the black race MUST survive.”

Please sit and resonate with this quote. And before I close out:

Donald Trump will get reelected in about 8 weeks and Judge Ginsberg is no longer with us. I do hope you understand what is coming.

 

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Masculinity Redefined

  1. I totally agree with this. I’m thankful every day for having a real father in my life who protected my mother and I. He believed that ”real men” took care of their families. He told me of the importance of being a woman who was educated. He taught me to be an independent thinker, but to be ”a lady”. Some may see that as a patriarchal and oppressive thing, but it wasn’t. He showed me how a man should treat a woman in the way he respected my mother-his wife. So many women missed out on that lesson and it shows. Very sad.

  2. She had to hold her own like so many of us do. So I have to pull out my masculine side whether I want to or not even in your own backyard your feet stay planted. Black women are absolutely abhorred toward each other, they will strike with quickness while black men pull out their phones to send to world star for the world to see.

  3. @ Madam

    Mine worked a lot. But we never went one night without dinner. I know girls growing up who depended on school lunches to feed them.

    I feel so very sorry for the girls of today. My heart goes out to them. But ultimately, this is the black woman’s choice. We have to do better about choosing the wrong men.

  4. @ wholistcally

    I can honestly say I don’t know what that feels like but I was hurt watching it. I’m very sorry.

  5. I tried to leave a thoughtful and long thought. For some reason, each would tell me that your blog can’t post my comment. Thank you for reading this, I just wanted you to know. Thanks. I did try it.

  6. @ afterhollywood

    You are not banned. Please try again

  7. My thought is, “Why was their focus to pull the young lady, rather than HURRIEDLY running to get the ASSAILANT OFF of HER?! That should have been FIRST AND FOREMOST, in her male co-workers’s minds😦! They acted so lackadaisical about the incident…

  8. Itiba Ke on said:

    Ehh the way you described femininity is the way men paint it (as you stated, your definition came from men). It isn’t accurate. People do not understand masculinity and femininity or feminine energy and masculine energy and that’s a huge problem in itself. Using outdated patriarchal understanding when…how many of us come from cultures that are originally patriarchal anyway? I know I do not.
    The problem is black women have chosen to remain as everyone’s footstool. Now, there are black women who are beginning to wake up but I’m not sure if it’s as many as there should be. When you allow everyone to take from you and you continue to give to others and allow them to violate you, then of course you will be in a sunken place and will look like it as well. Many of us originally come from matriarchal cultures and that’s what we should return to. Women will never have a good outcome when allowing men to control and define them. That alone goes against nature.

  9. Alberto Macstaire on said:

    “Since the “war” on the black family structure isn’t going away, perhaps it’s time to tackle this monster head on. Some of the things I will mention here will no doubt offend but since this topic is always coming up in one way or another, I feel it’s due time to air out the dirty laundry. Researching Zionism has given me great insight to its offspring: Feminism, Racism, Pedophilia, TransHuemanism, Transsexualism and Colourism. Of course all are ideologies of the white supremacist system.

    What is my definition of white supremacy?

    It is a system that functions universally that aims to destroy the Original Hueman in the three aspects of life:

    Spiritually

    Mentally

    Physically

    Some may ask, “Aren’t you oversimplifying things?” No. In my estimation, if you do not have the Spirit, the mind and the body, nothing else can be manifested. Breaking the African “Ba” (soul) begins and ends with the African Woman. All life stems from her. Therefore, she is the main focus in the equation. I do not need to go into vast detail about what has been done to the black woman by both white AND black men. Books, movies (the Colour Purple), art, articles and TV series have covered that ad nauseum.

    What I’m going to say are 2 simple and truthful, yet hurtful facts:

    1. Black women are angry at black men. Are we justified in that anger? Yes. Is it entirely his doing? No.

    2. Black men are angry at black women. Are they justified in that anger? Yes. Is it entirely our doing? No.

    In order to break up the black family structure, black women were sought, beaten down and targeted for mental and physical elimination. Hitler wrote his entire manifesto based on his struggles and desires to cleanse the earth of lesser life forms. Throughout 500 years, Zionistic propaganda brainwashed the black woman, through white feminism and white misogyny, to believe that the black man is “her enemy” and her “career”, the one that white supremacy ALLOWS her to have, is more important than family. She is brainwashed to believe that her sexuality is “up for grabs by the highest bidder” instead of it being an expression of God.”

  10. I will do my best to write up my response again. God bless you for all you do! These are very challening times and we all just need to stay as thoughtful and grounded as possible.

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