Dear Diary #11
One of the things I love about being so innocuous, so harmless looking, is how easily people tell me things.
My growth and development has depended enormously on understanding the hueman condition and why people do the things that they do. My co-worker, another farmer, let’s call this person “X”, came up to me to air out her frustrations at the world.
She not happy right now ’cause things are changing too fast for her liking. Too many Mexicans are coming over here with free money, free housing, free training, free everything and it’s all being paid for by the “hard-working ‘Mericans of this country.”
I listened as she told me that her grandparents were so poor, they had to catch their own food in the woods. So poor that they had a little radio for entertainment and a pair of socks on her birthday was a great gift.
She lamented on how her one brother almost died from a tragic farming accident and there was no money to get medicines but “those people” get free stuff. I nodded silently as though I really gave a fuck and she continued to rant about how Trump needed MORE support to throw “these foreigners outta here” and rebuild ‘Merica to its former greatness.
Me: But didn’t your folks come here from Germany?
X: Yeah but we did it the “right” way through Ellis Island.
Me: When they got here and spoke no English and had no money, who helped them to acquire farm land?
She turned and looked at me from hair to sandal.
She took a step closer to me allowing me to see that one eye was a bit greener than the other and almost faded freckles splattered across the bridge of her narrow, bony nose. She was a most startling contrast to my brownness and softness.
Then she spoke showing crooked teeth.
X: Ya know…the people that should get pregnant aren’t and the ones that shouldn’t even be allowed to mate are popping them out left and right.
This is the moment I’ve been waiting for!
Me: You mean like drug users? ( I so love to play dumb and can do it better than Britney Spears )
X: I don’t mean to sound racist but certain people should be sterilized. Look at my friend who graduated at the top of her class. Her IQ is about 140! Her and her husband are dying for a baby and they’re BOTH infertile!! Can you imagine that? They own a beautiful home and make tons of money and would give the child the best education possible but they can’t conceive.
Meanwhile, other folks are popping ’em out and can’t even buy diapers! Who ends up paying for that? Me! I support Trump and hopes he builds that wall.
Me: I see.
I nodded slowly as if I was taking it in. My face remained unchanged and I gave no evidence of my “Gotcha, you bitch!” moment.
Me: Well, in the end, only the Powers of Nature gets to decide who and what they want on this planet, right?
She looked at me then went back to her own stand and rearranged her perfect array of fresh dill. I peeked at her, looking at her bony profile, and felt a tiny and surprising tidbit of pity. Sometimes I shock myself at the level of pity, however fleeting, I feel for this tormented white race. How awful it must feel to know that you’re dying and there’s nothing, nothing, you can do except rant and grow angrier and more violent.
Between the opioid pandemic, yes…it’s worldwide, the meth craze, suicides, school shootings, sun cancer, low sperm count in 20 year old males, difficulty getting pregnant after the age of 30 for females, multiple miscarriages, erectile dysfunction in 30 year olds, interracial sex that’s literally changing the entire face of Eastern Europe and death rituals being conducted by our Priests and Priestesses ( I’m buddies with one in Louisiana and she tells me of the horrific accidents that only they have ) is it no wonder that they are in full panic mode?
The one thing that still baffles me though is their blatant refusal to acknowledge their Karma. Everyone sees it. Everyone called it. Everyone told them that “your day is a-comin'”. Everyone begged them, for centuries even, to make the playing field more equal lest their progeny suffer.
And yet they continue to deny what is obvious to everyone.
Michael Bradley, a white researcher, foretold of this as their (his) Inheritance.
If he saw it, why can’t they?