Observations of an Invisible Woman

Dear Diary # 5

Last week I went downtown to pick up a few things. While awaiting a sales clerk, a white male sauntered up to me. He bent down pretending to look at something, rifling through the merchandise. Then he looked at me then smiled.

The conversation began with him commenting on the prices of things and how concerned he was with the current state of the economy. Then his next comments centered around Donald Trump and the political parties he has to choose from and how he understands why many whites, especially white males, would vote for him.


Me: Oh? Why is that?

Him: There’s a lot of scared white people right now.

Me: Scared? (Looks at a piece of flannel then puts it back) Scared why?

Him: Well…America is not the America we knew. Things have changed. A lot of people feel that America is gone.

Me: Where did it go?

Him: I have a job, right, and I’m on food stamps. I can’t make ends meet. You know how many people are in my position? Trump, at least, is a mover and a shaker. He’ll get things done. He’ll make things right with us.

Me: Us…?

Him: (laughs) You know, whites are scared of black people rising up. (looks at me a bit nervously then laughs again)

Me: Why would you be scared of that? What do we have to do with your life?

Him: There’s a lot of us that feel if you rise, you’ll take revenge on us for what we’ve done to you.

Me: Well, let me ask you something then. If revenge is on your mind and your so fearful of it, why not use your power, your influence, your money, your privilege to treat us better? Why not try to change things so if we do rise, we may not seek vengeance?

Him: Ohhh… we don’t think like that. (waves hand dismissively) We’re just scared of your revenge. That’s why Trump is getting so much support. He makes us feel safe again.


He ratted on about Bernie Sanders and his possible Jooish heritage and how Ben Carson would never be president when the sales clerk, overwhelmed and rushed, came over. I asked her to cut me a piece of flannel for my sewing project. I half-listened to this older, graying, white man and thought about his comments again.

Me: Hmmmm….I see.  (half paying attention, half wondering why whites are so damn attracted to me and can’t leave me the fuck alone for five damn minutes)

Me: Well…I’d better get going…good luck in the future with things…

I picked up my fresh piece of fabric and hurry out, not wanting to have another encounter.

In my car, I allow myself to sit and digest what this white man just told me.

“We don’t think like that…”

You know, over the course of my life, I’ve had many honest encounters and conversations with white people. For some reason, this one sticks like no other.


“We don’t think like that…”


If I hurt someone and kept on hurting them, I’d come to some realization that maybe, just maybe, that person would get sick of my shit and one day strike back. That is reasonable, no? Therefore it is also reasonable for me to surmise that I should STOP MISTREATING THEM TO PREVENT MY IMPENDING DOOM.

That is also reasonable, no?

If I, a lowly Negress, a poor farmer from the islands whom society deems lower than a cockroach, can come up with the simple answer on how to CHANGE MY KARMA, why is it that these “superior” beings cannot?

WHAT kind of “person” doesn’t reflect on their crimes?

WHAT kind of “person” keeps on doing the same thing over and over and over KNOWING one day, they’ll be severely punished?

My simple answer: A humanoid. An unPerson. A non-Hueman.










Single Post Navigation

28 thoughts on “Dear Diary # 5

  1. C’mon Negress. You know damn well this didn’t happen. Lmao!

    FYI . . .
    This really, truly is one of my favorite blogs. I follow it almost religiously. This is just the sort of cognitive dissonance, paranoia, and frankly bizarre pathology that, for whatever reason, gets my goat. It is always facinating, for me anyway, to watch smart people be stupid. It feels like a choice. Just when you think the world’s gone crazy, you come here and find out . . . It’s been crazy!

    Keep up the ____ work Negress!

  2. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

    I also wonder why they keep approaching you.It maybe you look non threatening with a pleasant countenance or maybe the Universe has it where they flock to you like moths to a flame and tell on themselves so you can enlighten us.They avoid me like the plague that and my smile turns upside down instantly when they’re near.Except in Walmart one actually tried to converse and I dismissed but nothing like what you go under.And just like they can’t control or quit mistreating us they can’t keep their mouths shut because they’re under a curse Also.

    Until we understand this we’ll always go back and forth.We brought a curse on ourselves when we were disobedient and had pride and idol worship to keep us from the will of God and into the hands of the white race that also took on a curse by accepting to be our captors.Like a contract.And as the bible says there is nothing new under the sun.As they were our captors then, so are they now as we are stil captives, still on the plantation.America was meant to be the land of our captivity.And it’s funny they claim it’s the land of the free, home of the brave ,when it’s the opposite.Land of the slaves,home of the cowards. And it shows they’re cowards, scared we’ll rise up from their mistreatment yet they won’t quit.And are constantly plotting and running scared.

    Physically, America looks the opposite and is deceiving as they claim they have freed us .But have they? They still think they own us and are above us.The mistreatment is the same, their “privilege” however is working against them.That alcohol is killing them and the hand of God is not far from repaying them.

    But let me also write on our black people.They still don’t get it.On Saturday I witnessed a demon possession of a young black woman whose family from Jamauca living in the U.S.A. worked witchcraft,sorcery, on her and sent it to destroy her.Because they were jealous of her success and her baby.They possessed this girl cause she had what they never got nor tried to get off their lazy asses and get, like a diploma at a young age..And I am of sound mind as God intended.This young woman did everything but levitate.I witnessed the power of the name of Jesus,the Holy Spirit and the bible.So I choose to believe the bible over any science.And attest to it’s power.Even though I still tried to figure out if it was real however, it was evident and it’s not new that black people are sick.Black people are ill and a mess.I was so angry cause I’ve seen this in our community but to see this manifested as I am very spiritual,Holy Ghost filled water baptized,Jesus is mine shows we are still under that curse to destroy each other.

    The jealousy,bitterness,envy,hatred, ignorance,love of money and things which we direct at each other is mortifying.I can’t even be around black people either because it’s horrendous and toxic.All this misdirected aggression at each other yet we’ll applaud and protect yurugu with everything in us. We can’t seem to understand we’re free from the curse and need not live beneath what we deserve.I don’t like anything about white people but black people and their stubbornness is their own worst enemy,sickening.Once we get out of fighting each other and get the target straight we can do damage.But the enemy has us going in circles and trusting in self with our carnal minds.

    The white man is the devils children and he works best through them.They have no control their fate is doomed.However, black people what’s your excuse.

  3. @ whatami

    I allowed your comments for my black followers to see just how whites think.

    I won’t post anymore of your comments, just this one.

    Thank you very much for always providing me with CONFIRMATION.

  4. awakescapes on said:

    Crackers love me too and i hope they are punished to the fullest . https://awakeandescapeblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/15/vanilla-is-not-white/

  5. awakescapes on said:

    I don’t have a blog, i just put my ebook in blog form. I love your blog. Thanks for educating people

  6. Ayaba on said:

    Exactly sis. They are manKIND. Meaning not man, but similar to man. They have no conscience. The physical is a manifestation of the spiritual and physically they are corrupt. Nature tells us so. Therefore, everything that comes from them will also be corrupt. I have also discussed this in my videos as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OCgf5pMiCM

  7. “We don’t like that”, oh really? So they reprudiate the crimes commited by their ancestors, and they condone it, well there’s a special hell awaits white people.

  8. @ This is more evidence that white people understand racism (more than black people do), they know how badly whites treat blacks — both past and present– and they have no intention of stopping. This is a hard point to get across to some of us — we call it “ignorance” or think that being “friends” or dating or sexing or marrying whites and “browning” america will eventually end racism.


    I believe racism/white supremacy is DNA deep and while different whites may practice racism differently (some are more refined and others dislike the most open violent forms) — I believe all believe in white supremacy. Meaning, whites should be in power over non-whites. I have NEVER met one white person who truly believed in equality or felt comfortable with black people having equal power to whites.


    I listen to certain YouTube channels on a regular basis to get my non-mainstream political information and I’ve noticed that even those white channel owners who openly oppose the mistreatment of non-white people globally, seldom show any compassion toward blacks in America (I suspect because their crimes are too close for comfort and what this country is to acknowledge them).

    And the two words they NEVER say–refuse to say– is “white supremacy.”

    Because it is too revealing to their victims. It removes the smokescreen of “class,” ethnic wars, warring religious factions and all the deceptive language that hides the truth about WHO is responsible for most of the suffering on this planet

    White supremacists

    Thanks for another thought provoking post, Negress.

  9. Well at least he was honest when he said”We don’t think like that” . They are who they are and will not change. When they start talking to me I just keep it business like, and say things like I did not start racism, and pretend I am indulging in something else, or I say to them why are you telling me this? Yurugus, humanoids,or whatever the term is are just a means to an end for me. I like reading your articles like, 7 counter attacks on racists, survival of the black family 50 tips on black survival etc. also your meditation articles, your self help articles are EXCELLENT!. I understand that you do farming , I am hoping you will write more articles regarding food. ( Personally I do not think that we should be eating processed foods or animal by products or animals but, that is just my opinion). I’d like to see an articl e on how we black people can learn to pool our money together, how to budget our money, how to stop giving all of our money away to whites and non-blacks, how to keep our neighbourhoods clean etc.etc. etc. I know that Yurugu is not playing with us and they wonder what we are thinking and what makes us tick It’s cultural practice with far too many of them. I sometimes wonder with the perpetual idea of yurugu in our psyche, is stopping us from living a good healthy life,in which we black people can self reflect and work on our selves.
    I understand that interaction with them is inevitable, but for me it is all business, in a polite manner of course, no idle useless chit chat,. I’d like to know if you have any ideas on daily affirmations or meditations, that would be useful. The less I keep Yurugus and non blacks in my psyche, the lighter and better I feel. I do believe that we black people who keep racism in our psyche are mentally and physical killing ourselves. There is a lot or racism out there but they will never change it has to be us who change for ourselves and our survival.

    Thank you

  10. angel9loveu on said:

    @ Negress
    They show more compassion to their dogs or animals than us. They have no remorse for our mistreatment and claim to not know why yet they’ll boycott a city in China for cruelty to animals and slaughtering dogs. They’ll go on tv and rally support humane shelters but turn a blind eye to a negro.

    But yet they condone the mistreatment of us. There was a slogan that white people can see Big Foot, the Lochness monster, ghosts and Aliens yet they can’t see racism.

    “They don’t think like that” so they’ll mistreat us cause they don’t think that MAYBE if they would really put the word EQUAL treatment into play. They wouldn’t be “running scared”. They enjoy mistreating us and like a previous post someone wrote of how they survive only off our mistreatment. In countries where there are no diversity.The yurugus die off from depression.

    I have to agree with @frenzhelpfrenz they’re under a curse where they’re programmed to oppress and annoy us.It’s their life’s mission. That’s why we should move out from them and conglomerate somewhere far from them and build our fortress. I bet they’ll LOSE their minds and kill each other…LOL.But really it shows they need us to supply them and the farther we are from them the higher the chance they’ll go extinct. It’s a longshot but we need to come out of the discussion stage now and ACT!

    I’m really tired of wasting time and energy discussing those non beings. Trying to figure them out is a bust. This

  11. angel9loveu on said:


    Paranoid?!?!? You’re the one stalking negresses blog, RELIGIOUSLY. Your own words. Your obsession has caused your desperation to show. Maybe you should quit. Leave Black people alone you’ve only proved Negress 100% correct and you look like the crazy one.

    P.S. The world’s gone crazy cause people like you exist.

  12. @ Everyone

    Thanks for your input.

    How’s about we make this summer solstice a hot motherfucker?

    Not too hot…we don’t wish to harm Nature…just hot enough to speed up some things?

  13. angel9loveu on said:

    @ Negress
    It’s gonna be a furnace!

  14. Boy that What-a-Cracker known as Whatami is letting his fear show! Negress, I am not shocked of this encounter. I can be in a store, and I sense those critters staring at me so I give them my WTH are you looking at me stare; and instantly the “tell me I’m a special white person” banter begins. Your spiritual aura is strong; and that is why you are approached. These crakkas study us don’t think for one second they can’t sense those with a strong spirit, whites are demonic. The devil has his demonic imps looking for melaninated ones with a strong spirit, and they need to approach us because they are insecure and need our validation, because whites have the biggest ass egos! Yet, they are incredibly stupid because The Loving Divine Melaninated Spirit Always Always makes them tell on themselves and their ulterior motive. The pathetic issue with whites is there could be 1000 Latinos and 1000 Asians in the same room as a 1 black person and the only person of color they have fear of retaliation is the black person. How simple and ignorant to think Trump will do all this. Trump was a ploy, a tool to awaken the Black collective that this war isn’t a war against whites and people of color…it’s white fear of Black Empowerment. Whites only seem to be obsessively concerned with what Black People are thinking and doing.

  15. Well, a big clue as to why they “Don’t think like that” is a well know fact that we tend to overlook when dealing with them…..white people are PSYCHOPATHS!!! We’re not talking about a historically sane, rational people.

    And, in the mind of the sick psychopaths, it is easier when you are trying to annihilate a perceived enemy (Black people AND all people of color — from the advice of Madame Blavatsky–check it out) You have to build up, build up AND build up in your mind that this revenge it out to kill you….AND THEN, you will have justification, in their sick minds, to commit genocide of a people…..”they were going to kill us first!, so we did what we HAD TO DO!!”

    White people are insane and deadly, but luckily if we understand this we can be the victors……..they want to be our enemy, but our ONLY enemy is ourselves….to defeat them is to forget about them and FOCUS on what WE want to accomplish and go after it and THEN and ONLY THEN, will we get what we want! They DON’T hold ANY keys to our future….GOD DOES!!!

    We need to change OUR way of thinking….that white people have a train that we need to be on…..they DON’T!!! GOD CREATED US FIRST, so how can they! Crazy people will take you down with them if you keep thinking they are apart of your/our destiny. Throw them off the train and keep them off and we will reach our destination because GOD gave us a destination….THEY DIDN’T!!!


  16. The reason why whites are not concerned with Asians is because most Asians are followers, and the same with Latinos to a lesser extent. Blacks have the dominant genetics, Asians and Latinos do not. Whites have a history of obsessing over us. and like to make these statements that we are inferior etc. If we are so inferior, why do they obsess over us? I myself do not care to obessess or think about anything that I truly thnk is inferior. We black people need to be aware of whites, but not have them in our psyche, this can be done by dropping out of the system (Negresses previous article is a must read) and 7 counter attacks on racism another excellent article. As a business student I deal with whites and non-blacks in a business fashion and yes they can be a great source of information but, you have to know what you want with them and for myself it is strictly business dealings, nothing else. Now I’d like Negress to write more self improvement articles for blacks.

  17. @whatami2015

    Just proved to us he’s a knuckle dragging neanderthal cave beast sticking his unsolicited nosey matters in things that doesn’t concern him. The nosey behavoir of white people, sticking their nose in someone else’s affairs. 😤

  18. I enjoy reading your thoughts. I found this blog about a week ago. It is a constructive source of information for victims of this continued white terrorism. Thank you.

  19. nidotopianwarrior on said:

    I’m in a line of work where I have to deal with them everyday, and everything you said was true. They always want our validation and praise…

  20. @ Nidotopian

    Validation from someone they deem inferior? Sounds like a complex to me.

  21. nidotopianwarrior on said:

    white people know deep down that it’s the other way around that’s why they are so obsessed with us. Cause if we were so inferior why would they even expense as much energy as they do and commit so much to tearing us down?

  22. kimgedeon on said:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’m actually very surprised that this guy was so open and overt about his thoughts on the “threat of black revenge.” (I wonder if you’ve ever read ‘The Rising Tide of Color: The Threat to White Supremacy’? It was written by a white supremacist in the 1920s and addresses the threat to white power) But I think it’s about time we stop expecting whiteys to care about anything else but their self-interest. And in the same way, it’s time we stop caring about them and focus on our own progress. 🙂

  23. @ kim

    Thank you. I’ll look up that book.

  24. From my reader Mickey.

    Hello there DOAN,

    It’s been a while since I have posted but I have been keeping up. Here is a video that was posted on Youtube last year about a White guy who basically tells about White supremacy and White fear of retribution.


  25. You were really lucky to have had a civil conversation with this person, the majority of them refuses to talk about racism, because the truth hurts!
    He told you that they are afraid of our revenge, for what they have done to us in the past? The good question was to ask him if it is so, then why today they are still trying every way to eliminate us? We have not the means but them, they have!
    They believe that a fake smile on face, they think of conquering our trust?
    With IR marriages with them, and multiculturalism, they can clean in a moment 500 years of segregation and many more, problems like racism? Wow, this is amazing!
    The fact that is, they don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed! Living with illusions for them is the only way to not see the reality!

  26. I think it is time that we stop expecting whitey to care about anything else except their own self interest. And in the same way it is time that we stop caring about them and focus on our progress.

    Kim Gedeon, if more of us thought like you we black people would be further ahead in life. It is time that we focus completely on ourselves. Thank you

  27. *Folding hands…wishing that had been me* My dear, you had an encounter with a camouflaged sociopath. I get a lot of attention from whites also and it annoys the hell out of me. I will not spare them. Sorry, but I have no feelings for them and will promptly make them uncomfortable or even scare the living hell out of them. They know exactly what they are doing, yet, refuse to stop doing it. That makes most white people inherent psychopaths by nature.

  28. EXACTLY! I’m not afraid of white people but many Black people are. All you have to do is confront them–they cower away like puppies. They truly are afraid of us. I intimidate them on the regular.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: