Observations of an Invisible Woman


I’m back from my little break and I must admit, it felt good. I focused on some things that were being neglected and got my “center” back. Next time, I won’t wait til I’m feeling overwhelmed to take a break from it all. You know, as I reread my past posts, I can see where I’ve grown, where I’ve changed completely and what needs to be changed. My personal quest for “Knowledge of Self” begins with the one person capable of making that happen:


When I awakened, finally, I was in a Chinese Food restaurant being quietly ignored and insulted. As I went home and chomped on my sesame chicken and fried rice, for some reason, the food didn’t taste as good. In fact, I realized that I wasn’t hungry anymore. It took that microaggression, one of many throughout my life, for me to have that “aha” moment. Since then, I’ve had thousands, if not millions of “aha” moments. One of my revelations came in the form of a question. I’ve been asking myself this question throughout the years and every time the answer has more or less remained the same.

Before I ask you, African Peoples of God, these questions, allow me to say that I needed this time off for a multitude of reasons. To focus. To talk to God. To clean. To sleep. And to heal. I was burnt out and both my mind and body were paying the price. I awoke this morning early and decided to catch up on my readers comments. I was eager to hear what you had to say in my absence regarding the last few posts. I quietly read and reread your thoughts…

I’d like this thread to be an open, rich, honest, introspective, adult dialogue. I’d like us to be frank with ourselves and admit certain truths regarding our situation. Booker T Coleman once said, “I know who put me in the box. The question is, ‘What am I doing to get myself out of the box’?” With that in mind, here are my simple questions. I hope you will all participate as honestly as you can.

1. What purpose do you have on this planet?

2. What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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46 thoughts on “Questions

  1. 1. What purpose do you have on this planet?

    That I can’t answer, at least not yet.

    2. What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?

    I’ve pushed myself a lot over the past year in being more social and going back to college. I was mortified at stepping foot in the class room after 12 years, but I ultimately did it and now I’m getting great grades and it gets easier each time.

  2. @Diaryofanegress. Glad you’re back but so soon! Baby those “aha” moments are known as the”nigger wake up calls” and I’ve had Plenty over the years! It amazes me how flippant and forgiving I was over these”get over it” moments whilst I smiled, grinned, said it didn’t matter,&atI was better than than, changed my Updo, bought more make-up, went back and bought & ate more bad food from the very places that insulted me too, just to see if it was a “one off!” everything BUT deal with the Real Deal. Me.
    As far as my “purpose” on this planet, emmm…I’d say that one’s purpose possibly has many sections to it and that one such part of my purpose was to STOP seeking Validation from people in general and people who I thought were better and smarter. I didn’t even know I had a serious deficit until I started joining the dots on those “ngr calls”. One of the first things I did was stop attempting to make my hair “acceptable” to other non-African people across the board. When I did this OTHER things started to come to me to help me on my own journey and although I have been on it for a few years, my purpose is beginning to unfold what it is exactly to the dot, I cannot say, but I have an idea. For me it was dealing with ME FIRST but not in a narcistic or self-fish way, but to get to know the AUTHENTIC Me, in a way perhaps it’s the first purpose. Hope this is helpful

  3. My purpose here on this planet is to be a light in a dark world filled with hatred, envy, pain, violence, apathy ,greed, and lies. The qualitative value of why I am here on this planet is to stand on the Word of God (It is only in the Red) Be a Son of the Living God. Exercise my authority in Love over evil and be prepared to rule as a King which I am as I come from a Royal bloodline Yeshua. I have been placed here in this Earth to occupy until my Lord returns. I am to pose solutions and work the solutions. Prepare yourselves for a hard fact, “When the European or Satanist refuse to sell you food” how shall you feed your children? Take the mark of the beast? Or should not all of us “intelligent” prosperous folk be brainstorming our existence here on this planet for the next fifty years? Do we let false prophets and teachers continue to blind us with lies and deception or do we go to the Holy Temple ourselves which is Spirit and Pray for wisdom and UNDERSTANDING? I am no longer taking on the image of the oppressor but am standing in the gap for those who are blinded and misguided. My purpose here on this Earth is to continue the revolution that my Lord Yeshua declared during his visitation. To let the oppressed go free and break every yoke. To give sight to the blind. Communications is vital in any warfare. We must as a people begin to communicate in love and with purpose to save and safeguard our families. I am willing to die for the lives of my people. I am truly willing. But are my people willing to do right so it will be right for today and tomorrow! Cast down the Jessie Jacksons, Al Sharpton’s, and Farrakhan’s who can not speak for me and are not my leadership. These men of questionable character have always known the European Agenda and assisted those powers in keeping the blind blinder. To include the TD Jakes , Creflo Dollars, Athletes, and romp shakers, hip hop stars, or better yet those false seeds of deception that skew your perception of a world gone wild and yet still so beautiful because YAH put me here to live in peace and not fear

  4. Strategically we have a lot to work on, however, collectively we either will not do right or can not do right! Detroit Michigan for the past 45 years has had Blacks at its helm directing and profiting from positions of affluence and influence. While in Afghanistan I was directed that I would work with the corrupt officials and it is excepted that we must accept a certain level of corruption. What do we accept as right and wrong seems to be learned and taught by the oppressor. Yet at any given time they can change they rules which now apply to the unlearned but do not apply to their own systems. I shout a war cry and I say it with conviction, “I come in the volume of the book and you False Prophets and Preachers” Let my People Go” There is work to do and we do not need to be CONTROLLED by dark powers and religion. We need……….? Anyone care to finish that statement?

  5. mstoogood4yall on said:

    “What purpose do you have on this planet?”

    I really don’t know, maybe help ppl.

    “What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?”

    not much as I don’t know yet.

  6. mary burrell on said:

    Negress, Misstoogood4yall, has gifts, I pray someone mentors her. She is very grounded and mature for her age. She and young Ms Adeen are special young people who could change the world. I believe in them.

  7. As a young Black woman, I wonder what my purpose in life is? I really wonder what God wants me to do.

    I wonder if I will ever find a good Black man to date and marry? I really do.

    And most of all, why is everyone pressuring me to date a White man because I am single?
    Everywhere I look in the media, they are promoting White men as the best choice for all races of women. And then when I posted online my problems with finding a nice guy to date, people keep on telling me to date White men. It is terrible. I don’t want to date a White guy ever! What should I do?

  8. Aw, thank you very much. I plan on helping the Community and maybe use my writing ability as well

  9. Same here, Sista! I wonder that too and if I will ever find a good Black man.

  10. I was wonder that too and I wonder why people keep on telling me to date a White man.

  11. mstoogood4yall on said:

    thanks for outing me rofl. and here i was trying to be humble lol. but anyway, i don’t fully know my purpose yet, i do feel like i’m supposed to do something good, but i don’t know what that is yet. I asked the creator and *crickets* i guess he/she knows i’m not ready yet, so i do need to focus more and get back to meditating. I do gotta work on me before i can help anybody else, i still have a bit of a way to go maybe in a couple years i’ll be ready.

  12. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I don’t know my purpose yet either, but i’m not focused on finding a good black man to date/ marry. work on fixing u and being a great person. I know i’m not ready for a man, as i’m not a woman yet, i mean physically i am but mentally emotionally i have a ways to go. It sucks that we mature sexually and physically before the mental and emotional. They say we are done mentally developing by about 25. You have time to find the right man in the mean time in between time focus on you, as being married and all that is not about u its about u and that other person and u will have barely any time just to focus on yourself. Look at it this way, ppl live to be about 80 something right? so if u get married at say 30 then that means you will spend most of ur life being with someone than being by yourself. Travel, write, and live, the right man will come in some time. its like when u look for something and u can’t find it, then when u aren’t looking for it and have forgotten about it then u find it.smh i hate when that happens, but that is also what happens with love. I’ve never been in love but i don’t focus on what i don’t have or have yet to receive i focus on what i do have and what i can improve. as for dating white men, relax you are still young who knows by the time u and i are older the trend will change, and u don’t have to be with someone u don’t want to. Just ignore those ppl that tell u who u should date. as for what u should do, just focus on yourself. lastly, not everybody will find love, some are meant to be alone, and that isn’t a bad thing, it just means ppl can focus loving and spending their time taking care of other ppl and can focus all their time and energy in bringing about change. don’t rush or worry about ur future husband or boyfriend.

  13. C

    You are the millionth person who said their acceptance of our hair’s texture and natural appearance was the first step towards self awakening.

  14. Adeen

    mstoogood gives good advice about not rushing into things.

  15. Major

    “My purpose here on this planet is to be a light in a dark world filled with hatred, envy, pain, violence, apathy ,greed, and lies. The qualitative value of why I am here on this planet is to stand on the Word of God (It is only in the Red) Be a Son of the Living God. Exercise my authority in Love over evil and be prepared to rule as a King which I am as I come from a Royal bloodline Yeshua.”

    I think I want to applaud.

    Have you read my post on polarity?

  16. Major

    You asked if anyone wanted to finish your sentence. I’ll finish it…

    “We need…each other.”

  17. I hope like hell you don’t frequent those “chinese” places where they serve “food” anymore.

    Those purpose of Black people on this planet was to be whatever we wanted to be on our planet. We were to look after the earth, the water, animals, and most of all ourselves. This planet is what we are made of, and if you don’t believe that, then take off your shoes and socks, and go walk on the naked Earth and stand there. That’ll change your mind for sure. We have gotten all fancy now and wouldn’t be caught dead walking outside with no shoes on. Within reason of course.

    We didn’t know the power of the ones who wanted it more than us and even still, we don’t have that kind of evil in his. All we do now is imitate. Anyway, I don’t do nearly enough to get us back to where we gotta and should be. I’m afraid it’s gonna take the Most High now sista. All we can do is continue doing what we doing and let the universe pick that up.

  18. I agree with ms truth we need each other. And I’ll add we need…. to support each other and heal ourselves. we need to learn from the past. we need to not make the same mistakes.we need to succeed this time. you right we don’t need to be controlled, but we need to be in control of our ourselves.

  19. mary burrell on said:

    @Adeen: I think I have said the same this things Mstoogood said to you. Focus on your goal to be a writer and your education, travel. There will be plenty time for husbands. Trust me, you need to work on you and getting educated, and your dreams of becoming a writer. You just need to start writing.

  20. Yes and Yes! Amen! Without each other we will suffer atrocities never seen before here in America. We need to love one another and be accountable to one another! Thanks for the reply!

  21. No I have not read your post on polarity and would love to do so! Please direct me to the post as I am open to counsel from those who exercise wisdom with discretion in knowing that all who see may not see or understand what is truly being said!

  22. Thanks, Mary, I have started writing but I hope I make it as a writer.

  23. Thank you very much, mstoogood4yall. I will try not to listen to people who tell me who to date or marry

  24. Negress

    I have a passion for writing, but my purpose in life is to seek the truth and expose it to our people. I’m just more interested in the truth. Not to sound religious or anything, but even Jesus Christ said” the truth shall sit you free.” For some reason I feel like the thing we are going through is spiritual, at the core. I’m not a pastor or nothing like that, but I sense that this is a spiritual warfare. Mainly targeting our people for a reason and a bigger purpose. Now, I know we are special people and the most gifted people on earth. Our people don’t see it. It’s like they are locked in a trance with no sense of awareness. If only we knew what are capable of as a people, lot of this madness wouldn’t be going on. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but somebody will.

    – Alex

  25. Alex, I stumbled upon the answer as though I truly was seeking the truth and the Lord Yeshua (Jesus the Christ) showed me the words he spoke for the Holy Father are in red. The entire bible is not the Word of God. History is in the Old testament and Yeshua came and confirmed the Old Testament and gave us the unabridged word from Our Holy Father. You are right this is a spiritual warfare. The people I am born of refuse to humble themselves to the Truth of who we are and whose image we are created in! But instead we are spiritually dead at least a large portion of us are that the truth is not in no churching or preaching of devils. It is through prayer and meditation that we come to know Our Holy Father as he is which is Love which our love for one another has wax cold as Jesus said it would let alone a God my people have no understanding of. I promise y0u this is if you stay in the red and pray for revelation you will know the truth and be free. All you need is the Holy Spirit to teach you not the task masters of the devils churches which do not represent the Truth! Look at our people and tell me what do you see?

  26. Meditate as in studying or as in yoga?

  27. What purpose do I have here?

    To learn. Grow. And experience.

    What have I done to take those steps?

    Study what it means to be a black men. Look to those, my ancestors before me, to understand the meaning behind this madness. Meditation. Working out. Making money to save for my future and that of my children.

    P.S. Ms. Negress…

    I am paitiently waiting for you to send me your email address so I can send you this important document for you to overview.

    You said you yourself were going through changes and understanding things on a deeper level. This will help you…and that of those here understand our purpose here without question. It’ll all make sense.

    My email is jbenjaminr@yahoo.com

    Please…either contact me or allow me to contact you.

    I’ll keep doing this until I get a response because it’s just that important.

  28. Meditate as in Study and reflect on what God is doing and has done for you.

  29. Good post, I will think about these question

  30. 1)Continue to understand how race/white supremacy affects my life as a black man and how to fight against it

    2)I work in healthcare, so trying to understand how issues like HIV/AIDS,high blood pressure & diabetes affects us as black folks

  31. SUPERIOR_CARBON on said:

    What purpose do you have on this planet?

    To BE.

    2. What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?


    Truthfully, I haven’t done SHIT all summer long. I don’t know why I’m avoiding SELF. I am reading good books and watching GREAT documentaries. BUT that does nothing for the evolution of my SPIRIT.

    Why? because reading and watching are passive actions.

    I have not meditated like I would like.
    I have not participated in Blackness like I would like.
    More importantly, I have some outstanding scholarly work, that if not completed soon – my blackass is grass. LOL…..

    On to the positives!!!!
    I’ve been going to the gym religiously (YEAH!!!)
    I lost those 10 lbs I thought I never would.
    I TRY to help negative people see life in a different LIGHT.
    I try to make everything BETTER where ever I go.
    I bent my path. Or did I? It my path, and I get to choose.

    This is a far cry from a once ARROGANT ASS FUCK, Corporate Sellout – BLIND to self and Blackness.


    COUNTER ARGUE WESTERN SICKNESS(ES) while staying in that flow of growth, evolution and LOVE.

  32. Yosef

    I contacted you.

  33. Interesting comments, guys.

    From what I gather, we all pretty much know that we’re here for something but we don’t really know what that something is. At least not yet.

  34. @B.R.

    ”Continue to understand how race/white supremacy affects my life as a black man and how to fight against it”

    That is one of my life goals!

  35. Shurani Lee aka Mae L. Drew on said:

    Just recently, I realized that I am a woman and not a child. My purpose is to be a Woman. A Black Woman, and not a child. As such, as having a purpose, and knowing my purpose, to be a Black Woman, and know it, my legacy to leave on this Earth my imprint as Mother, Provider, Teacher.

  36. Nevertheless Negress, your blog is helping us as black people to start to undo the damage that mental colonialism of the past 400-500 years has done to us . Its not easy but in life, the truth will indeed set you free! That is the first step on the quest for self, the truth!

  37. 1. What purpose do you have on this planet?

    I get shown bits and pieces of a message, I believe the Most High is giving me. He is telling me to turn to blood and close friends and start a community. I’m not sure whether it’ll be here or in another country, but He’s telling me to go to their colleges, take what technical knowledge I can from their education, and form this group with other like minded individuals. All I know is we need trade workers, as well as people who are versed with dealing with the enemy, as well as those skilled in various specialties. Finding like minded individuals is the real hurdle. We can’t look for ‘them’ to share their resources, we must secure. and maintain our own. It’s hard to get other black folks to understand that, a lot can’t see beyond their next paycheck. I want them to have so much more.

    I’m still receiving bits and pieces, and the only person I’ve talked in detail with is my husband. I’m sure He’ll reveal more in His own time.

    2. What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?

    I’m in college taking up a technical major that can be applied to many specialties. I am also reading(currently “Blue Prints for Black Power”), and praying, though I need to discipline myself as I have not been spending enough time meditating with my God.

  38. Do all you realize that meditation and God keep coming up as things we need to do and/or get back to? Mediation and speaking to Him/Her really does help. I speak to the creator so much, I do it in public without realizing it.

  39. I agree. I love Negress’ blog and because of her, I am reprogramming myself into loving myself and my race. I learned a lot of things from reading her blog and I thank God for her and her blog. I don’t know where I can go for venting my thoughts on race besides Negress, Black Not White dipped in Chocolate and TruthAngel07.

  40. I am still trying to figure out my purpose but I do know that as a Black woman, I should love and respect my race and Black men.

  41. What’s going on DiaryOfaNegress and my fellow brothers and sisters. I really dont use the internet that much but a friend told me about this blog yesterday and told me check it out. After a couple of hours of looking over the content of the blog post, it is really refreshing to be able to communicate about black issues, plights, history and many other struggles we have do deal with a people. So thank you DOAN for providing a space for us.

    1. What purpose do you have on this planet?

    I’m in grad school right now studying Global Economics and I really like to tutor Algebra and Statistics. But I don’t know if that’s my purpose.
    Basically just helping our people.

    2. What have you done lately to achieve that purpose?

    I don’t know for sure if tutoring or maybe being a teacher is what my purpose is but I like to do it. There really isnt a lot of tutors out there in the black community so happens to the black children when they need help? I try to educate my friends and family about for us as a people to be more financially and economically independent. We need our on schools and business right NOW. We have too many millionaries to not own much, IMO. I try to help our people out about being aware of tue financial and economic state of our surroundings so you can plan for the future. Bottom line I just want to help in whatever we have to do!

  42. Nat Turners' Revenge... on said:

    I love the fact you describe God as she… I never understood how women can birth nations but all creation “came from a man” in any & all religious text.

    To stick w/the topic… I still don’t know what I’m here for but long before I stumbled across you I’ve made it a point to do @least one good thing for someone other than I everyday. I’m a conflicted soul. To balance the imbalance that is me I try to make good the heavy side…

  43. Hey fam !I don’t know what the heck is going on with WordPress but I can’t seem to post comments or anything from regular pc.. Anyways , I have been researching different barter pages in my free time and ready to create the page… Having a hard time with Facebook too.. Awfully strange with the timing.. First my router now Facebook not displaying things ive created.. beyond irritated.. i am due to labor any week now, so forgive my absence.. I’ve been extremely exhausted and fighting the hospitals with their scare tactics regarding vaccinations my choices in birth and etc.. Lets just say I am tired and exhausted… Regarding ur questions I have no idea what my purpose is.. I hope to find it soon..

    Sent from my iPhone

  44. 1. My purpose is to be a good steward of my Creator

    2. I am listening a lot more to the instructions that is printed in my heart instead of acting on impulse

  45. Me too, I have problems posting from a regular PC

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