Observations of an Invisible Woman

Dear Truthbetold Part 4

I received this letter a few days ago from a black reader. It saddened and somewhat shocked me because it was not the first time a black female admitted this. I discussed it with a good buddy of mine and she gave me her perspective on things. May I say something? I’m somewhat surprised at the overwhelming amount of pretty, educated, friendly yet lonely and unhappy black women out there.

One would think that as long as she met the “basic” qualifications for a partner and was acceptable to bring home and meet the parents, men would be lining up, or even fighting, to grab her. But from what I’ve been reading, that isn’t the case. I’ve been thinking about this post for a few days now and I almost didn’t publish it. But I feel it’s too important of a topic NOT to post it.

I’d like to speak my peace on this disheartening topic, just once, before I let you have yours.

No matter how much men feel that they “run” things, we all know that The Universe is female. Without Her, life as we know it, is gone. Historically, the black female has been overwhelmingly loyal to her man. Some strayed for reasons of her own but most stayed. Why? Intrinsically, she understood the game. The day that black women “take the bait” and give up on black men, for whatever reason, the entire game is O-V-E-R. 


“Im a black woman whos been reading your blog and comments for awhile now. Despite your multiple posts on black love and forgiveness, Ive decided to give up on black men entirely and start dating women. Ive concluded that many women feel trapped in the black game. Black women supposed to be the ones who are always there for our men but they never seem to want to return the favor. Its almost like they expect it. They only notice you if you dress a certain way. They want you to put out as soon as they meet you and if you dont, they leave and find a woman who will. Then they curse her and call her a slut when there done. Im tired of the sex games with men. Im also tired of being the one to foot the bill. I feel like there looking for a reason to date and marry anyone except black women.

I also notive that when there with a white partner, theyll do anything to keep her happy. But they never do that with us. Frankly white women can have them. Many of them have nothing to offer a black woman anyway. Women are much more patient and loving when it comes on to relationships. Sorry fro the long post but its just how I feel “

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206 thoughts on “Dear Truthbetold Part 4

  1. christie on said:

    I can relate to this letter.. I feel having a dark complexion is another reason why I’m single. I have the figure and all the qualities a black man would want If I was light or what have you. White men adore me but that’s not what I’m into… I feel black men gave up on me

  2. EyesWideOpen on said:

    The calm before the storm. This will not end well.

    I usually stay on the sidelines for these kinds of posts but I will say this before this thread blows up into an interracial, finger pointing mess;

    1) This will be completely ignored but the fact is, more than 90% of black men in America marry black women. IOW, black men who prefer non black women are the least of black women’s problems.

    2) Many of the black women lamenting their singleness need to take a good, long, HARD look in the mirror. With few exceptions, they are just not being honest with themselves. Case in point, my sister is pretty and genuinely fit but her personality SUCKS HARD. She is one of the most negative, energy draining people I’ve ever met but she can’t understand why she’s single! And if you try and tell her, forget about it, she just shuts down and gets super defensive. She refuses to even see that she needs a major attitude adjustment so she will most likely be single forever.

    Now, in fairness, even if she had a great personality, she would still have problems finding a good black man because she is surrounded by white males and still doesn’t realize how racist they are which brings me to point #3…

    3) Good black women who are serious about finding a good black man need to move to areas with a large supply. I know; easier said than done but I don’t see any other solution.

    I’d love to see a couple of posts on…

    1) “X Truths Black Men Don’t Want To Hear” and
    2) “X Truths Black Women Don’t Want To Hear”

    But a part of my brain is whispering you already did.

  3. Nat Turners' Revenge on said:

    We still beating the fuck out this dead horse? Please stop using this platform to excuse your gay-ness or stepping out on your race.

  4. the alchemist on said:


    On an older post someone made a comment stating their opposition to IRR and you seemed very upset that they did not support IRR. Could you clarify you position on black people in IRR with non-black people.

  5. Eyeswideopen

    If I’ve never told you this before, I appreciate you very much and what you have to add to this forum.

  6. EyesWideOpen on said:

    One more thing…

    DOAN said: “I’m somewhat surprised at the overwhelming amount of pretty, educated, friendly yet lonely and unhappy black women out there.”

    A common misconception that women of all races have is that “educated” is high on the list of desirable traits in a girlfriend or spouse. I think women are projecting their values onto men. I’m confident I can speak for most men in saying that an educated woman doesn’t even make the top 10 ITO of what a good, smart man, of any race, is looking for in a girlfriend or spouse.

    A millionaire would much rather marry a sweet, feminine waitress than some high powered, career obsessed attorney. It’s not even close.

    I would replace the word “educated” with feminine. Femininity, like masculinity, are going the way of the dodo bird in the west.

    Here’s a list of controllable things that most men want in a woman:

    -In shape (NO EXCUSES)
    -(Very) Feminine (both style and personality)
    -Strong desire to please (both in and out of the bedroom)
    -Sweet, Pleasant, Positive, Not Bitchy
    -Lives by “The Golden Rule”
    -Not obsessed with materialism and status
    -No little thuglets running around

    Unless, she’s ugly, a black woman with those qualities in an area with lots of black men will not be single for long. IMPOSSIBLE.

    ps put the bloody smart phone away on dates – the fact that so many women (and some men) need to be told this shows just how far this species has fallen ITO of basic human decency.

  7. EyesWideOpen on said:

    THANK YOU. I appreciate the kind words.

  8. Eyeswideopen


    Why isn’t educated on the list? One would surmise that being able to “hold one’s own” in matters of reading and conversation would be important.

  9. Everyone:

    I forgot to add this earlier but I hope we can have an adult dialogue with this. We have not been able to do so in the past so I’m hoping that we’ll try today.

  10. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:

    What exactly is educated? Does having a college degree make one educated? And type of education?

  11. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:

    Typo. I meant to write And what type of education?

  12. Black love is a beautiful thing to behold and to have. But black women need to understand something that when it comes to the prerequisites of things you need to have to attract that man you want, he is still not required to adhere to those signs of a quality woman just because you assume that having those qualities automatically reserves the seat where your prospective man in your mind is supposed to be sitting based on artificial reasons, like education, career, finances, clothing, cars, and house.
    These are things that are supposed make your individual life easier and more proficient’ it has nothing to do with the man you are trying to get based on things he also acquired himself. Age also plays a big part which I think she conveniently left out because for one if you are trying to get tied down with a man still in his 20s and early to mid 30s ”forget about it”. These men are having women throwing themselves at them especially if they got they s**t together.

    Because if you start dating a woman because you can’t find a man you will shoot yourself in the foot because if you pretty like you say you are and you end up dating a not so cute girlfriend like the WNBA Basketball player Chamique Holdsclaw and she feel as though you just going through a phase and try to leave her because you think it’s time to start getting some d**k again, things may not end well for you because them ”butch b**tches” don’t play that. But one thing she said that stuck out the most is that she said she holds out for sex, sweetie do you know what planet you are occupying right now?

    Let men guess you holding out for sex is a way you assert your power over men. Because If there’s one area of a relationship women think they have control over, it’s sex. She may just be doing it to show men who’s boss in bed or she may be compensating for feeling powerless in some other aspect of her life. Maybe she has a cruel boss, a domineering best friend or an overprotective mother who knows but those are just universal reasons but 7 xs out of ten it’s one of the above.

  13. But to be real honest I remember reading this book called The Case for Marriage, Maggie Gallagher and Linda Waite make the case that married men are happier, healthier, and make more money than single men. In other words, marriage improves men. Statistics also show that married men live longer than single men. In fact, statistically, being single is one of the worst things a man can do. It is equivalent to smoking two and a half packs of cigarettes a day! (I suppose the worst would be a single guy who actually smokes two and a half packs of cigarettes a day.) End quote.
    And I’m pretty sure this is very accurate because men look at things differently than women. Though men need improvement, women must learn to be patient and not destructive to the male ego in the process. Women need to see the men in their lives as long-term projects and learn how to encourage change without fracturing their egos. The good news is, you ladies really can eventually get us to where you want us to be. The bad news is, after you get us there, we die 😦

  14. Imhotep on said:

    Unfortunately, some Black Men are shy.

    African Queens are the prettiest women on the planet!


  15. Matari on said:

    “Unless, she’s ugly, a black woman with those qualities in an area with lots of black men will not be single for long. IMPOSSIBLE.”


    News Flash!

    Let’s not overlook this either.

    In some black male circles, even “ugly” females with these described qualities would not be single for long. A beautiful temperament and personality counts as much, if not more than a beautiful body and facial features. By the way, the less make-up a woman wears, the more appealing she appears – to me…

    EyesWideOpen, I like the way you see things! I wish a lot more people had your eyes. We’d be much further along than where we are now!

  16. You beautiful African American women still falling for that I got an education game? What is that supposed to mean? Yes, the speaker may intend a compliment, but what may be meant as praise instead comes across as being condescending. It implies the person being complimented is an exception to the rule and is exhibiting behavior atypical of others of his or her ethnic background which i’m surprised black women don’t find insulting is beyond me. And you wonder why you can’t find a man because of it? You guys need to stop saying that because that is one of the primary reason you have trouble getting a man because we see the condescending nature behind that phrase which didn’t take an education to figure out.

  17. Well this just about sums it up, I for one can not complain about any of those attributes. These things are much more important then the external reasons of attainment of things that have no real value out side the collective important’s given to it when it comes down to just two people in the end. Why do women find this so hard to acquire then the so called education requirement they like to parade around in every mans face?

  18. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Hi Alchemist,

    My position on black people in IRR with non-black people is this:

    I couldn’t care less what consenting adults do. THAT was my point. People who poke their nose into other people’s affairs saying what they should or should not do annoy me to no end because 1) it’s none of their business and 2) they cause endless problems for people in the real world. They haven’t learned the first law of life which is “Live and let live.”

    My “agenda” as a commenter on this blog is twofold:

    1) Convincing awake BP that WP are hopelessly evil and not our friends (I don’t care about the exceptions – they are a trap) and

    2) Encouraging us to focus on ourselves and the things we can control – especially the internal / mental things – rather than the external things that we can’t control and that are really none of our business.

    For what it’s worth, here are my personal opinions on IRR:

    From a purely aesthetic standpoint, I find mixed race women to be some of the most beautiful women in the world – the best of both worlds. So, I’m happy that a small percentage of people in each race like making babies with people from other races.

    I don’t plan on having kids at all (I’m not wired for marriage or fatherhood and the divorce laws are INSANE in their anti-male bias) so that’s a non-issue for me.

    As for interracial dating / sexing with kids out of the picture, I don’t have a problem with it at all. I’m going to reject a sweet, feminine babe who finds me attractive because she’s non-black??? Please. Trust me, I’m under no illusions about white women but some of them are perfect for 3 month flings. All the shaming tactics in the world won’t change a thing.

    And I’ll tell you why I’m not buying for one second the declarations of those who say they would never sleep with a non-black person. Many of these very same people can’t even resist responding to white TROLLS on the internet LOL and I’m supposed to believe that if they were single, lonely and horny that they would be able to resist the charms of a goodlooking white person who showed interest in them. R-I-G-H-T.

    I was born at night but not last night.

  19. The global system of white supremacy has severely damaged the minds of all non-white people, especially Afrikan males and females. Dr. Frances Cress Welsing says that no Black people qualify for mental health. Every one of us is in desperate need of an individual “psychological revolution” because under this current system, Black love truly is a revolutionary act (TrojanPam), starting with loving our Afrikan selves. Personally, I know I need to spend more time deactivating the “white chip” in my mind (reAfrikanizing my thoughts, speech, and actions) and less time focusing on the sex. europeans / whites are waging war against Afrikans (every moment of every day) and most of us don’t even real-eyes there is a war going on. If we can’t or won’t find a way to work together toward the common goal of replacing the global system of white supremacy with a system of justice, Afrikans may end up in museums next to dinosaurs with white beings pointing at our stuffed corpses while explaining what niggers used to look like to their white terrorist babies.

    “There is no law in the Universe which says that Afrikan people cannot be removed from existence or, worse, live the death of re-enslavement.”
    ~”Message to the Warriors” by Mwalimu K. Bomani Baruti~

  20. EyesWideOpen on said:

    @ DOAN,

    There are millions of so-called educated people who can’t think for themselves and who never read a book once they graduate from college. By contrast, there are some folks who have never been beyond high school but who…

    a) can think for themselves
    b) are voracious readers and
    c) have lots of real world experience

    I would much rather have a conversation with them than a conversation with one of the millions of mindless, educated beyond their intelligence zombies wandering around gazing at their dumb phones.

    I am not anti education. I’ve been to college but I do think it’s overrated, especially for BP. School in the west is just training for a lifetime of servitude in corporate Amerikkka with 5 or 6 figure debts thrown in for your troubles.

    IMO, unless a BP knows exactly what they want to be and it requires a post secondary education, I think they’re much better off getting a job at UPS, Fedex, USPS etc right out of high school. They pay well, have great benefits, hire BP and you will have NO DEBTS. Then they can travel on holidays and learn about the rest of the world while saving money by living at home. By mid twenties they’ll have a better idea if they want to do something different and should have some good money put away to finance it or put a down payment on a house etc. Or they can save ’til 30 and pat CASH for a modest house – no debt is KING.

    ps: if you want a job at one of those places or anywhere, for that matter, mail in your application EVERY SINGLE WEEK until they call you (make sure your resume is super professional). When HR gets the call to hire, they start with the applications sitting right on their desk. They don’t go digging through their filing cabinet for months old applications.

    The second part of this comment was a bit off topic but it might help some teenagers reading this who are wondering what to do after high school.

  21. Honestly as a young Black woman who is graduating from high school, I can relate to this letter. There is a huge shortage of good Black men in my generation. Most of them are either with non Black women, gay or in jail and I am avoided by them at school.

    What is a young Black girl to do in this current generation of denigrate Black youth especially the males? I don’t mind dating outside of my race as long as he isn’t a devilish albino male but dating out goes against my belief system.

  22. Well said. We, as a people, need to separate from them and reprogram ourselves to love our race and self again.

  23. Thank you! Nice to hear it from you as a Black woman. I used to feel ugly comparing myself to the non Black females in school but now I am opening my eyes and seeing my own beauty thanks to this blog!

  24. True yet many educated Black females feel that there is a shortage of Black men. I wonder why.

    I am in my teens and I feel there is a shortage of Black men that are loving and care.

  25. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Thanks Matari.

    I totally agree about less make-up. I had put “Natural” on the list of Things Most Men Want In A Woman but then took it off because so many guys seem to LOVE fake breasts. I don’t even like fake nails unless they look almost identical to the real thing. When I see women wearing those glued on claws I’m like WTF?

    I’ll take a sweet, feminine, naturally pretty 6/10 over a smokin’ hot, bitchy, college educated material girl with caked on make-up, fake breasts and fake nails every time. The fake types rarely make good lovers and they definitely don’t make good girlfriends or wives. All they care about is status and paper.

  26. Exactly, Black love is a threat to White supremacy is why they don’t show it in the media. They are always promoting IR relationships in the media especially with Black men and non Black woman.

    This IR dating crap is BS because at the end of the day, most people date and marry inside of their race,

  27. Black women still trying to figure something that not complicated. Black women you want to give up on black man? Go head! I’m a black man myself, and I want hold y’all back. I find it ironic that the women that write these blogs, don’t talks about why these black men are leaving them. Over 70% of black women are single. And its all the black men fault!? I’m not a scholar or anything on white supremacy; but what I do know is white supremacy can’t work effective without most black women involvement. Like this sister, talking about dating other women. That’s a genocidal act, that’s one way to depopulate the race. As if that’s going to make the situation much better, but only worst. I think the truth is alot of black women are confuse and it will come a day when most black women will give up on black men. Only to find themselves in a more vulnerable circumstance. Y’all want to know why we haven’t had a revolution in a while, because the black man and woman are at war in their own homes. Plus if white supremacy kill all the black males today, its over for the black race. The male has the seed, the female fertilize it. By the way I have a black women, just incase anyone thought different.

    ~ Alexbelton86

  28. Imhotep on said:

    You’re welcome, Adeen.

    Unfortunately, non-Black females are represented better than Our Women by media everyday. That makes them the center of attraction to every man.

    Our Men rarely complain about that. That is what leads to all of the music about other women (I.e. – Mama Juanita from the 2 Live Crew) coming from Our Men.

    I think We have to be the Only Men in the world who want to fit in with everyone else but themselves. Notice how it is always Our Men that do not mind being the very definition of a sell-out. Right now, some of them think other Afrikan Men should jump in when they attack Our Queens. Our Men have that huge confidence boost that they will not get turned down by the other races they choose to be around. An Afrikan Man will risk being the token figure in a group with two Azn people and six WP just to be amongst that crowd. They have News Anchor voice to blend in. I do not want to offend any of My Sistas, but I think racism hurts Us the most psychologically to a point where We just won’t accept that it is happening to us. We really need to tell each other to stay strong! It is important! Our Men do not want to come to the realization that They are the most discriminated against in Amerikkka. It does not help when Our People migrate from Africa and claim that “they aren’t Black”. Yes, even some of Our Immigrants do not want to be Black in Amerikkka. So, Our Men always want to change Themselves. From there, They befriend hordes of people who have found unity with those in their race. They still don’t mind any comment that could be hurled at them. Nope, they probably go on about how they are “Afro-Latino” or “Blasian”. It makes no sense, but I always see it.

    Some of Us don’t think of Ourselves as Black supremacists and that is why We are losing. The thought that race can play a factor in any event never crosses some of Our minds. We want a normal life like everyone should have. We focus too hard on having what should be the standard life for a human being that we ignore who we actually are in this Hell called Amerikkka. When you look up, the worst tragedies always involve us!!! Now yts are inviting others to believe that they are above us. The other people of color always fall for that invitation to be with yts because of they too have that straight hair and appearance. The Zimmerman case showed that!!!!

    I forgot to mention the other half of the problem. Many of Us are situated in Amerikkka by now. They have accepted that Disney’s Cinderella is white, but they looked at it for the story content. The whole time they were being brainwashed.
    Unfortunately, there are Members of Our Race who are the biggest pop culture buffs in history. We are always going out to see these movies (with a yt supremacist agenda to them) just to say that we saw them.

    – Imhotep

  29. Imhotep on said:

    I wish I knew the answer to that question.

    Unfortunately, some of Our Men have been that way. I don’t understand why that is, either. It is like the Afrikan Man in Amerikkka wants to be everything to everyone!!!! Don’t think for one minute that Those Men with non Black Women, other Men, or jail, do not know of the racism they face!! Trust me they do!!! We all know how it is for us here, even it does not seem like that. Our Men cope with the racism they face by trying to create a second life for themselves. Our Men will still fight for themselves.

    I think many of Our Men see Our Women as “too strong for a man to be with”. Yts are always using Our Women against Us. The Afrikan Woman with a Master’s Degree will always have a place in Corporate Amerikkka. This allows some of Our Queens to believe that They are better than Our Men. Yts always play us against one another. For that foolish reason, we cannot come together. After their work, you would be made to believe that the Black Man and Black Woman live in two different worlds. This appears to be the worst time for Us because he have not figured out how to go around the maze and not enter it. We need to remember We have the same enemy because of their same problem with Us.


  30. Alex and everyone:

    “I find it ironic that the women that write these blogs, don’t talks about why these black men are leaving them. Over 70% of black women are single. And its all the black men fault!? I’m not a scholar or anything on white supremacy; but what I do know is white supremacy can’t work effective without most black women involvement. ”

    Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Truthbetold, the blog moderator. I allow pretty honest and open dialogue between us to, hopefully, get us talking, healing and helping each other to move forward from this system.

    I’ve written several posts now on our failed dynamic, where it came from and how to fix it. I wrote several scathing posts on how black women must own up to their responsibilities and turned around and did the exact same thing with the men. I’m starting to see a clear trend here that worries me.

    The man’s role on this planet is to protect his woman and family. The woman’s role is to teach and lead her children…the next generation. When one person, man or woman, no longer feels the need to do his/her role, for whatever reason, the family unit suffers. Our race is still reeling from this 500 years later.

    Perhaps my first instinct was correct. Maybe publishing this was a mistake. I’ll not do anymore posts on our relations as it is an exercise in futility. I do wish to say one thing though that another commenter noticed:

    I hope we put this same energy into other important posts dealing with food, medicine, herbs, music and supporting each other instead of the generic, “Good post” or “nice post.”

    That’s all for now.

  31. Umoja on said:

    Funny someone would mention “mental health”. The holocaust survivors were given free mental health services as long as needed by the US govt’, yet our ancestral slaves weren’t given or considered treatment. As a matter of fact….there was never any free mental health care for Blacks for the sole purpose of healing from white intentional injustices— Reconstruction, Jim Crow, Civil Rights, not even the Black towns that were intentionally burnt down by those creatures….not one dime of compensation!! Their biggest and only fear is when the Black man and woman rises up. They are adamant and hostile when it comes to not compensating Blacks, because they know they are the source of Black injustice, abject poverty , disunity, destruction , death, lack of progress and growth, ect….and they’d like to keep it that way. They really freak out when Blacks utter the word, “unity”!! They dust off their sheets and polish their guns.
    When Black are ignorant as hell; all is well….yet when Blacks wake-up and speak of unity; they then scream, whoa… “utopia”
    Not one dime of reparations then or now. You know the Jews are still to this day compensated annually via the US govt; and we are constantly reminded of THEIR holocaust. Why? They finance the bulk of the slave “trade”!! O’k…I’m off topic. I’d rather just read the comments on this subject….carry on…

  32. Imhotep on said:

    We must, at least, always have some general respect for each other out here. A compliment everyday will go a long way. Right now, We have Young Men who have been exposed to “where the white women at” far too many times. If Our Queens were to tell Our Young Men that They are handsome it would reverse that. Our Queens have to be in it with us at all hours! I know our Queens Of the Past for always sticking by their man even if he never wanted that! Our Queens are the true warriors of Our Race!

    It kills me! Our Men should know that Our Women are thought of as “nearly invisible” in Amerikkka. If they don’t know that, We should step in and inform them. Our Men go around sometimes thinking that can run off with that second life for rest of Their time on Earth. It does not work that way. Yts will do everything in their power to let you know that they hold on to the money in this Amerikkka.

    When they target us, they target the whole community!!!!! We have to let each other know that they should be Black and proud. We are going to be the only ones who can do it!!!!!

    I do notice that Our Men have the most hurtful words for Our Women! We will speak to each other worse than yt ever would! Worst of all, they will denouce Our Sisters IN PUBLIC FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, in a LOUD tone! To My Sisters, as A Black Man, I am sorry that they do that! I have a feeling that they would not allow anyone but another Black Man to tell them to stop doing that! Some of Our Males, also, realize that Our Women can have fun by themselves as they gossip. I, as a Afrikan Man, do believe that divides us a little bit. When We are Together, We have so much more fun than when We are apart. The Afrikan Man is genuinely funnier when He is around The Queens. The Queens give Him that special attention that He needs just to function. We work better together as a Family. Most of these rappers today go on and on about Red Bone women, but they do not realize that they do not have a video without Their Sisters dancing in the background. We really need to make sure that none of Our Young Men get a hold of auto-tuned insanity!!!!!
    Honestly, I think some of Our Brothers believe that They are in this battle alone! After awhile, They start to model themselves after someone else. That is how We
    lose them! It does not help that some of Them have very tough Mothers. They start thinking that every Sister will be like Their Mother or worse. I do believe that Our Sisters do need to start placing themselves in the lives of many Our Men. Our Sisters are really the only ones who will cheer Us on as individuals and Black Men! No one women will do that for them. Our Women are the greatest mentors to Our Men.


  33. Imhotep on said:

    @ DOAN

    That’s the truth, We are still reeling from all of the damage created 500 years ago! Thank you for saying that! A lot of Us see it from day to day, but We do not bring it up to anybody! I hate that some of the Members of My Race still do not like to read books! Those monsters hid books from Us for so long that it almost became commonplace to never see them around!

    – Imhotep

  34. blackgirlinberlin on said:

    This has hit home for many of my friends here and back home in the States, but often I do see both sexes making having issues with learning to love each other. Maybe it is time to learn to love ourselves and each other again. I have been reading this book about love and it says:

    Imagine sitting down to operate a computer for the first time, when no one has taught you how to use one. After a while, you would probably be frustrated, because the computer wouldn’t do what you wanted it to do. So you might say. ‘This computer is defective- bring me another.’ No one ever told you it would be difficult to operate a computer, so naturally you assume it must be the computer’s fault. You try the second computer, but it doesn’t do what you want it to either. So you on to a third, and a fourth. After a while, you either conclude that computers are no good, or that you are no good at working with computers. Both conclusions are wrong. The real problem is that you don’t know how to use computers constructively.’

    The few of my friends that are loving themselves, and really positive, always seem to be in happy relationships. That is just my observation.

  35. blackgirlinberlin

    Thank you for that lovely analogy!

  36. blackgirlinberlin on said:

    Thanks, I read this blog every day, and its such a blessing, wish I found it before running off to Germany.

    The book is How to Make Love all the Time -by Dr. Barbara De Angelis.

  37. mstoogood4yall on said:

    dang, u kinda sound like hotdamnirock on youtube, he be on point though.
    “just because you assume that having those qualities automatically reserves the seat where your prospective man in your mind is supposed to be sitting based on artificial reasons, like education, career, finances, clothing, cars, and house.”

    I think that is true, I see a lot of women who can’t cook or do much housework, yet they assume they deserve a man because they have a degree. Its like if that is all u bringing to the table, u can’t eat a degree lol. And its like no boo that degree is so u can get a job not a man. I do think being able to hold conversation is great and being able to discuss different topics, but u don’ need a degree to do that.

  38. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I remember reading an article I think on the root or something it was satire talking about black women dating other women. This letter right here wow. now I know u gotta have some feelings for another person for that to work so I wonder if she already was feeling women to begin with. In that case wouldn’t a female partner she gets with not feel right because she’d probably bail on her the moment she finds a good man. who wants to be anyone’s second choice. I’m sorry but no I’d get with a man of color before I get with another woman, I mean I love my sistahs as i’m a black women myself, but not like that.

  39. Imhotep on said:

    It is a shame! Most of these models who pose with yts for these IR relationship photo shoots are just as confused as they can be about themselves. Some of them go around thinking that “only yt men like Dark Skin Women”.

    We really have to go after this colorism! Some of Our Women keep up the “house and field negro stuff” all of the time. As great as it is to call Our Sisters with a natural complextion “natural”, we still isolate ourselves. We do not need to call attention to color at all (unless we are attacking the way yts are) , that is what our enemies do enough of. I believe that it doesn’t help when one of Us sees those with the same complexion together. You can see the divide between us when it comes to stuff like that. We need to show Our Children that colorism is not there. We already have unity naturally, so that will not be hard to do. Yts have Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne as their agents to speak of “red bone women only”. We need to make sure that none of that junk is played around our children! We need to put more emphasis on how great Everyone is Our Community!

    Most people are comfortable around members of their own race. By now, anyway, everyone should know not to trust the yt race.


  40. THE ALCHEMIST on said:


    ” If Our Queens were to tell Our Young Men that They are handsome it would reverse that”

    “Queen” to young black man, “You are very handsome”.

    Young black man’s response, “I only date, like, will speak to, and recognize the humanity of light skinned girls. I don’t date dark butts.”

    ” I think some of Our Brothers believe that They are in this battle alone!”
    If they believe this than they are blind to the daily struggles of black women with racism, sexism and colorism. Such men should be avoided.

    You said,
    “I do believe that Our Sisters do need to start placing themselves in the lives of many Our Men. Our Sisters are really the only ones who will cheer Us on as individuals and Black Men! No one women will do that for them. Our Women are the greatest mentors to Our Men. ”

    This comment makes black women solely responsible for black male empowerment. It places an undo burden on black women to single handedly lift up a race of people. This is a burden that I reject. I am not a mule. Who lifts up black women and cheers us on? You should read the book “Marriage Is For White People” by Ralph Richard Banks. He addresses the “sista-save-a-brotha” hustle and the black women that have been financially exploited and murdered attempting to play super woman and “save a brotha”. After enjoying a lot of support the man will accuse the woman of emasculating the man, not letting a man be a man, of being unfeminine, etc. My magic wand that I can use to fix, save, and uplift the brothas is in the shop for repairs and the parts are on back order. Who knows when it will be fixed? I can’t save someone that upon learning the number of degrees I have feels that need to check me and put me in my place using carefully placed verbal put downs. After all three degrees may have gassed up my head.

    You refer to black women as “Queens”. Such a construction of black womanhood does not allow for the recognition of our full humanity. If removes psychic space in which black women can be vulnerable, sad, in need of help, etc.

    I am not a Queen.

    I am not an Amazon.

    I am a black woman with a disability that sometimes needs help.

    Any and all attempts to attach a superhero cape to my neck while ignoring my own vulnerabilities and struggles will be rebuffed.

  41. THE ALCHEMIST on said:



  42. Imhotep on said:

    I think that Our Women are still trying to come up with the solutions brought on by past wars and jail time. Some of Them are IR relationships, travel to met men, some decided to become lesbians (though they were heterosexual), and others decided that “they did not need a man”. I read some place on-line that We have Sisters who wish that both of Them could be married to the same African Man.


  43. Here it is “What’s in your medicine” comments came to a screeching halt yet stock on this post are through the roof @closing. One of the 1st commenters asked “Are we still beating this dead horse” to no response. Truth asked (AGAIN!!!) to keep it adult to no ‘proper’ response. Once again this energy is being wasted on BULLSHIT I’ve read the same commenters comments from previous posts & some of you repeat the same comments on the current post & thread. Do you think if WE all were activated & organized today we would sit & shoot the shit like right now on this thread. No! Our focus would/should be on progressive ideas for effective solutions. This energy is powerful & needs to be harnessed & aimed @necessary targets for desired results. Not chasing our own tail gossiping like bitches @the nail salon. And I say this again in regards to most w/the exception of a few. Disregard publishing these posts if you feel, Truth. Until we respect each other as human beings 1st we not mature enough to have convos about something as intimate as relationships…

  44. Here it is “What’s in your medicine” comments came to a screeching halt yet stock on this post are through the roof @closing. One of the 1st commenters asked “Are we still beating this dead horse” to no response. Truth asked (AGAIN!!!) to keep it adult to no ‘proper’ response. Once again this energy is being wasted on BULLSHIT I’ve read the same commenters comments from previous posts & some of you repeat the same comments on the current post & thread. Do you think if WE all were activated & organized today we would sit & shoot the shit like right now on this thread. No! Our focus would/should be on progressive ideas for effective solutions. This energy is powerful & needs to be harnessed & aimed @necessary targets for desired results. Not chasing our own tail gossiping like bitches @the nail salon. And I say this again in regards to most w/the exception of a few. Disregard publishing these posts if you feel, Truth. Until we respect each other as human beings 1st we not mature enough to have convos about something as intimate as relationships…

  45. D.S.

    I take full responsibility for this. I went against my better instincts and posted this because it’s a “hidden” dilemma in our community.

    I will not be posting any more articles on black love, black relationships and how to fix them or anything having to do with male/female relations. Even I have to realize when something is futile…which is one of my faults.

  46. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:

    Adeen you said on one hand

    “I don’t mind dating outside of my race” and then you turned around and said “but dating out goes against my belief system”. These statements are contradictory. Could you explain what you mean?

  47. I agree. Wealth and health come before romance and reproduction.

  48. GTFOH!!! Do you mean to tell me that we Black men of sound mind and body have fallen down so far til this woman is seeking the company of other women? Sorry, but that’s BULLSHIT!! If every Black woman on this planet rejected me on prime time tv it would NOT make me wanna start dating men. UNLESS!! That’s what I wanted to do from the giddy up.

    The first thing sista you need to try is being alone. THAT!!! Is a lot harder than being with anyone. Master yourself then, you can master the man for you.

  49. Imhotep

    “I think many of Our Men see Our Women as “too strong for a man to be with”.

    Do you think the feminist movement played a role in shaping black women to become masculinized? If she’s “too strong” for a man, does that mean he is “the female?”

  50. Bestpartofwakingup on said:

    Now before my last relationship, I had been single for lil over a decade. That’s like a prison sentence. So majority of my 20’s and the first two years of my 30’s(I’m 33 now). I’ve said In a post before that where I live, white people don’t see me, though they see me, so I said I was done with dating white women. Soon as I said that, a white woman found me. Now say what you will but after a decade of loneliness, I was opened to dating this woman however, as we were dating, I realized that the family I want to raise can’t be done with a white woman. I was waking up and I knew she wasn’t what I wanted. All my life I’ve been around black people, my city, the groups I belonged to in college. And every time, black women by the dozens reject me. I’ve had a few black girlfriends but now that I’m grown and have learned from mistakes, I want a relationship with a black woman. I understand where she is coming from but me personally, I can’t switch genders because of my horrid luck with black women. Even when dating the white woman, I was getting disapproving g looks and stares and even head shakes from black women, these same black women that don’t seem to want me.

    Now what is it about me that will allow a white woman to not only date me but think that I was the one for her but not allow black women to see it?

    My life has taken some very I fortunate turns and so now I am part of the stereotype, unemployed, no car, no place of my own. But it wasn’t like that in the beginning of this year. Yet, if this sister were to meet me, I would be “not worth it” to her and just like all the rest because of my situation.

    I see the trend on TV and movies and they are pushing it fast to have black women with white men. Super fine sisters with average white males and they are rushing this agenda hoping it will catch on.

    I hate that sister is now going for the goal on the girl’s side because she hasn’t dated ALL the black men that she can; yet tired is tired so if she’s done then so be it.

    DOAN you asked me if my friend blames black men for her being lesbian and I believe she blames MEN period but her white girlfriend dated brothers and she blames them for her tiredness of men.

    Will we ever get it together as a community of friendships that turn into relationships? Can we fight the sour?

  51. I want to date out but I feel like I would be betraying my race if I did. I don’t want to be called a sellout for dating a man of another race, that is all.

  52. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Girl, life is short so FTW and just go out and get yourself some TLC. Just remember, for flings at least, it’s about chemistry NOT color.


    They talked bad about Jesus so you know they’re going to talk bad about you.
    Terrell Owen’s mom

    No matter what you do there will always be at least one person who disapproves, so instead of worrying about what other people think, listen to your heart, do what you want and let the busybodies who disapprove go fuck themselves.

    To help you make good decisions in life, just ask yourself, “In twenty years (or on my deathbed), what am I going to wish I would have done?” You will rarely go wrong.

    Whatever you do, don’t get your ass knocked up until you’re married.

  53. Imhotep on said:

    @ The Alchemist

    I’m sorry, Alchemist.

    “Dark butt”
    Yes, some of our young men are starting to sound more like the gorilla heads (WP), themselves.

    Some of our young men do seriously start to sound mentally ill when they say those words out loud to My Sisters around members of other races!!!!!!! What is sad is that they do not even realize it!!!!!!

    As you know, being mentally ill and having deep self-hatred have never mixed!!! No one man of another race would ever downplay their sisters (in public) like our young men do. It is truly a shame, because they think it is normal. We see it everywhere. They’ll even say it in Church!!!!

    There is way too much colorism around Us right now!!! I have seen My Sisters tell each other that one of them “knows they have that good hair.” I just looked down at the floor! I’m really surprised when Our Adults bring up who is “fair skinned” and who is not. They never want to be corrected!!!! That is acceptable behavior to them! That must be the yt blood in them!!! There is no other explanation for pretending that they are WP. Our Celebrities (like Beyonce) do not help when they start to look more like carbon copies of lice heads.


  54. Imhotep on said:

    @ DOAN

    No, I do not think that the Black feminist movement has anything to do with it. Some of Our Brothers do not like that Our Sisters have sass. Many Brothers do not like being dissed at times. Our Sisters will sometimes just laugh at Them because They are secretly attracted to Those Brothas. Some Brothas do not see it like that. Some of Our Brothers have had too many bad experiences to speak of that scare them away from Our Sisters. Some of Our Brothers are a bit sensitive. Yts always want to show that when they feature a Black Couple on TV.

  55. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:


    I guess my disconnect is that you’ve spoken about white supremacy nearly everytime you post here and you even said that we should seperate from them. now you say “I want to date out.”

    You’ve let it be known what your desires are.

  56. the alchemist on said:

    @Imhotep and DOAN

    Feminism? Black men have asked black women to “hold it down”, lift a brotha up, support a brotha, etc. Black women have ben explicitly asked to play the male role. Years later they say,” black women aren’t feminine and won’t let a man be a man”. Holding it down only leads to complaints that every other race of women is feminine and black women are only men with wombs. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Other races of women are not practically ordered to wear the pants and have men that do the holding down. Black women haven’t done anything that they weren’t asked to do or forced to do to survive (Anything little black girl that grows up in an inner city neighborhood that doesn’t toughen up will end up on a milk carton.) Femininity (white womanhood) was constructed in such a way as to exclude black women from the beginning. Femininity = lighter than a paper bag.

  57. Imhotep on said:

    I would never date a member of the yt race. Everyday, they get into their business suits and lie to themselves. “I don’t owe you anything” is exactly what they tell us, everytime!!!! Some of Our People get PTSD from going to work for these wet dog smelling large white (the pigs) looking fleabags just have food on their tables. Why would I want to love that?! Let them live with themselves!!!!! They don’t deserve love!!!!! I have their blood in me that I never once asked for!!!!!!!

    They say ridiculous things like “I have decided that slavery never existed in America”. Okay then, why do I sound like you, have your slave master surname, and altered skin color?!!!!!’ They are a bunch of real idiots!!!!! No one should want to love them!!!


  58. @Jay in the Black Dimension

    I will date outside of my race except for White devilish albino men. I still believe that Blacks should separate from Whites. Black men are still my top choice of men but if I dated outside of my race, I would date Puerto Rican guys, Middle Eastern and Indian guys IF I dated outside of my race. Besides most of the world is non White. 92% non White and 8% albino devils and shrinking because their cave women aren’t producing enough White albino babies to replace their deaths.

    Never a White devil for me! I believe White devilish albino males are the biggest thieves, murderers, pedophiles, child molesters, serial killers, cheaters, liars, cheaters, wife beaters, hateful men to ever walk the earth. I would never date one at all!

  59. bestpartofwakingup on said:

    DOAN: you always have on point topics so don’t feel bad. people may make a mental note about the herbs and medicine posts and the gardening(i want to do it sooo bad) but people actively feel the sting of loneliness and so this topic rings an alarm for many of us. I think it’s a conversation way over due, we need to start talking to each other, like adults who WANT to be friends and get to know each other and learn to love each other again. Just because a wrong has been done to us doesn’t mean we can’t undo it or that we have to further the wrongness.

    Please DOAN, next time you think you shouldn’t post something…post it anyway, cause we are (mostly all) adults here and sugar coating things will only give us a cavity.

  60. Imhotep on said:

    @ Adeen

    Their cave women know by now of the yt man’s evil. I must say that they are actually smart for knowing not to have anymore Flugelrods. I guess yt guilt did a number on them after all. That notion was one of the best things to come out of this century!!!! I knew the women would brake because of all of the sexism those nimrods created for even their own women! I guess after hearing “women and minorities” all of the time, they make themselves clear that they are negative people. The future seems a whole lot better knowing that they won’t be around for anymore of it!

    – Imhotep

  61. hunglikejesus,

    The first thing sista you need to try is being alone. THAT!!! Is a lot harder than being with anyone. Master yourself then, you can master the man for you.

    You took the exact words out of my mouth!

    Most of us will go through several partners simply because we do not know how to be happy alone, we may have a void, which has to be dealt with before we can attempt to find happiness in our partner.

  62. The feminist movement is too consumed with the shaping of its own “identity”.

    The black woman is not “too strong”, nor is the black man “the female”.

    When black people return to Yah – Yah will return to black people.

  63. mstoogood4yall on said:

    Yes I agree and I also don’t see anybody attacking anyone so that is good. I think a lot of the name calling and hatred is from the imposters just look at abagonds blog its full of em.

  64. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I don’t know how this turned into a discussion about feminism. But I do think men and women have masculine and feminine energy, and that energy is off balance in a lot of our people. I think both men and women sometimes expect too much from each other or not enough. We need to find our balance again so we know how to relate to each other and pick our battles better. U have women saying they want their superman and men wanting their superwoman. well superman is a masculine superhero but he has a feminine or more toned down side which is Clark Kent. I don’t know when would be a good time to have a serious constructive discussion about the issues we have with each other, how can we expect whites to admit white privilege when we don’t fully admit our privileges to each other. Like light skinned privilege, male privilege , and female privilege. I see the comments and blogs talking about i’m single and can’t find a good man, or I can’t find a good woman. Idk what is going on that two good ppl can’t find each other or overlook each other. I’m single but I don’t dwell on it or really care too much but I am young so maybe that plays into it as well. But anyway I don’t agree with this woman basically blaming men for her turning to other women, because I may be single but I’m not going to date someone I’m not into just so I don’t feel lonely. Even if this woman does date another woman what would she do if she met the man of her dreams and the woman she is with is in love with her, what then? Does she just break her heart and leave like thanks for the memories but I get off here thank u place holder. I think that is wrong to play somebody if that isn’t where u really want to be. I mean dam there are other men out there, like black men from other countries or men of color, I just feel like she using this as a way to say yes I can finally get with another woman since no man I’m interested in is checking for me.

  65. I think you’re right on topic. In order to resolve an issue, the problem and the source of the problem must be identified. White beings are the cause of our menticide. However, it’s up to us Afrkians to heal ourselves because our enemy will not.

  66. Umoja on said:

    I kept silent because I’ve been in a funk for months….here’s why. I’ve bombarded myself with all the negative media; which is consumed with negative depictions of Blacks, both BM and BW….which includes YT, television and the internet. ( I know) It’s contagious and one will find themselves completely depressed and those depictions of negativity WILL become YOUR thoughts; therefore manifest. NO EXCEPTIONS. Bare with me….I have no judgment towards the young lady; I’m sure she’s left out much. We don’t know her pain or experiences. I wish her well, healing and love on her journey.

    I swear to you the problem lies with all of us individually. Never mind the bitch-fest….Black men this , Black women that. I get it; but we have ALLOWED propaganda to infect our minds with poison; therefore we have all assisted in it’s creation….the desired results. I realized that if I continued to give attention to any form of white owned media, I will eventually begin to hate Black men or become discourage, alone and depressed, surrendering to the so-called state of Blacks and BM……the desired result of white media/ white agenda. Consciousness is everything!

    In a nut-shell: Black reality = White propaganda/white thoughts.

    ** Media messages become self fulfilling prophecies: Media publicizes behavior that is rare and extreme as being the norm, society imitates that behavior, and in the end the behavior that was previously rare becomes normal and widespread. This is the whole idea behind marketing: influencing the behavior of the public in order to achieve a desired outcome.**

    *Black reality = White media tactics and fierce propaganda* IT’S TRUE!!

    WE are creating our lives, these negative riffs and relationships between Black women and Black men by default. We hear about the negatives, we share them with each other, we even expect them…..we are creating them. Ask your self….where did these thoughts come from? Are they your own? Once we take on the thoughts of others whether good, bad, negative or positive….THEY WILL BECOME OUR OWN …..and will mirror themselves in our lives. No exception, they WILL manifest. That is a universal law. Period

    What did Steve Biko say, ” The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” White folks KNOW this!! Why do you think one of their greatest tools of weaponry is the media. MalcolmX even said that.
    Do you all get it! You all know the bickering and fighting between the BM and BW IS MANUFACTURED, and you all know why. We are fueling all of it ; therefore creating whites desired results by default. You all know that unity is their greatest fear, so why are we not THINKING for ourselves, not recognizing these centuries old war tactics of divide and conquer. Step back…..breath deep and think..

    We MUST think for ourselves, CHANGE our thoughts, we change our lives. Remember the monkeys who started to wash their food then hundreds of miles away, those monkeys did the same. No one could explain it. We talk about our great power of melanin, meditate on this and that, focus on this, focus on that…..how about this also. What happened?!
    I surrender. I KNOW I will have the Black man of my dreams. I will prepare for him, I will meditate and focus on his arrival, I will welcome him…..I will not project onto him the stereotypes and negative depictions via white supremacy….I will open my heart and mind to get to KNOW him….I will meditate/pray for the man that I desire. I will continue to consult with the great surgeon—Spirit, to remove the “white chip” from my mind. I know he will be my perfect match because I will have changed. I will attract him….and he will attract me.
    I know I cannot attract the opposite of my thoughts, my focus. That goes against universal law.
    Those outside superficial things mentioned are just that; artificial. A European version of what is correct and acceptable. No substance or foundation. All I want and desire is one man. So what… there will always be bad apples; they aren’t my focus. I KNOW we are creating our lives by default. We must begin to create with intention and no longer by default. We soon forget that we are co-creators. Powerful beings….

  67. Reblogged this on InnerStanding Isness and commented:
    Black love is a revolutionary act!

  68. Good post. I agree with you. How are you?

  69. @mstoogood4yall

    But anyway I don’t agree with this woman basically blaming men for her turning to other women

    This blame game has been going on for a very long time…The truth is, a lot of these men and women were closeted gays, and they get into heterosexual relationships with a “BLAME THE OPPOSITE SEX FOR EVERYTHING” mindset. They nitpick and look for the slightest reasons to blame the opposite sex for every/any confrontation and misunderstanding only to use their pre-planned bad relationship(s) as an excuse to justify their sexual preference.

  70. Victor Spinks on said:

    You are so right. But I wonder how many of us actually even think about stuff like this. The black “thugs” certainly don’t. They’re too busy trying to make that buck and live the hedonistic lifestyle, caring little that other black men often have to pay the ultimate price for their illusory wealth with their lives. The college ‘educated’ black women don’t care either, because they claim they can’t find a black man ‘on their level,’ because most of these men don’t have the college degree or the financial clout to be able to treat her to the finer things in life. So she would rather remain single, brushing off their advances because their lines of work and accompanying salaries aren’t sexy enough. Or, she will allow herself to get screwed over, literally and figuratively, by the drug dealing “thug” after convincing herself that this is the type of man she really wants because he will spend his drug money on expensive gifts and restaurants in exchange for her dignity and what’s between her legs. This is, of course, until he grows tired of her and moves on to some fresh pussy, leaving her bitter and contemptuous of ALL black men because of the foolish choices she made with her ‘educated’ self. Or, she will date a non-black male or female, preferably white as a consequence of the terrible choices she has made with black men.
    The uneducated black women, the so-called ‘hood rats’ will do the same thing, with no qualms or expectations of anything better for themselves because they have nothing better to do with their lives. The white men won’t date them, but they will sexually defile them with no problem- and the hood rats will love it because they might just get enough money to have a bill paid or get their hair done. The regular black brothers with regular jobs making regular money and perhaps not as educated as their female counterparts will give up in their pursuit of the educated ones (who believe themselves to set the standard among black women), and ignore the hood rats altogether; and who could blame them? The educated black men with the nice salaries and expensive cars who are, for whatever reason, deemed not cool enough or “too nice” by the educated sisters will also gravitate towards non- black women whom they will treat with the respect and caring the educated sisters craved and the hood rats would never in a million years appreciate.
    The black men and women who are left are the ones who must try and unite. Hopefully, there are some like minded brothers and sisters creating the right energy for this to happen. Peace.

  71. Victor Spinks on said:

    And I forgot to mention the black men who never knew, or have long forgotten, what being a man is to the point where they gravitate only towards men.

  72. Excellent example! We are wandering through life trying to figure things out on our own, but we don’t have to. Our Afrikan scholars have done extensive research on Afrikan cultures and traditions and reading books and listening to lectures by them is a great place to start acquiring wisdom on how to live a constructive Afrikan-centered life.

  73. Alchemist:

    I’m picking up on your vibe and may I say from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry for your anguish. As a black female myself, I’ve been the one, MOST of the time, to “hold down the fort” and “keep it together” and “take a backseat” to my relations with men.

    I’ve been mostly fortunate…HOWEVER…there have been a couple of men in the past that saw my willingness to please, my island upbringing (patriarchal), my love of cooking and baking, my love of keeping a home…and totally took advantage of all of it and crush me in the process without batting an eyelash. I’ve had old boyfriends from a decade ago look me up to tell me, “I know what I did…I’m sorry…you’re the best woman I’ve ever known…blah, blah, blah…”

    Was I angry? Yep.
    Was I resentful? Yep.
    Did I crawl into my shell? Yep.

    But…the first step towards healing begins with the knowledge that ALL black people are mentally ill. We never learned how to undo our sickness so when we get together, it’s one sick person leading another sick person into more sickness. Then the hurt goes ’round and ’round.

    Do I get angry with my men?

    Of course!

    I think a lot of them need to grow up, stop acting like horny teenagers, be serious about your relations both in the bedroom and where it counts the most: When you’re OUT of the bedroom, take responsibility for having children and help RAISE them and stop using a black women’s inner strength as an excuse to bail, not try, not support us, mistreat us, hit us, rape us, degrade us and date more “feminine” non-black women.

    But…the pendulum swings BOTH ways.

    As black females, we need to let man be a man and STOP GETTING IN HIS FACE. Stop ordering him around, listen to his advice, have respect for his masculinity, allow him to make his mistakes and NOT throw them in his face, stop demanding material goods by putting pressure on him and stop using the children as a weapon to punish him.

    In other words:

    We both fuck ups.

    How are we going to win this war if we fight members of our own army?

    I’m well aware of the sting of our men’s betrayal, physical punishment, infidelity with white females and the notion that they’ve abandoned us. But change must begin with self love and until we do that we’re in for a world of hurt.

  74. Umoja

    Well stated!

    In my “7 easy steps to help counter white supremacy” post, I said “Turn off the TV!”

    Media is poison. And it’s filled with subliminal messages and ultrasonic waves to alter your chakras.

  75. Imhotep on said:

    How are we going to fight this war if fight members of our own army?

    This may surprise you, but many of Our People will still come together when fighting the enemy. We may have Men who pay more attention to the lice head over Our Sisters, but they still know that they hate the yt man. If the yt man were to make a dumb statement out loud (like they do all of the time), all Afrikan Men in the area are still going to jump him to teach him to never do that again!!!!!!! We’ll say, “why don’t you say that to my face, you crackkka?” That yt man will get a whopping so bad that he will be paralyzed from the head down!!!!!!

    I have a feeling that even if Our Brothers have a problem with Our Sisters, they would still think about the struggle underneath it all. Many times, Our People in IR relationships with the yt man and woman, still hate the yt man or woman. The yt men in these IR relationships will hold off seeing family members on Our Side because they are still racists. Thankfully, those family members do tell Our Sisters and Brothers that they disapprove of that relationship because they see how the yt people are! Eh, our people probably only want those gorilla headed losers because of the yt blood in them!!! The yt women in these IR relationship are still racist!!!! She openly speaks of how Our Sisters are the ugliest women in the world (because she knows that Our Sisters are wayyy prettier than she could ever be). Thankfully, Our Men around these yt women will still attack them for talking about that Niece, Aunt, Grandmother or Mother that they respect. We as a People still remember the torment behind certain words. That is not going away. Even if Our Sisters and Brothers are arguing with each other, they will still know the WP calling anyone an “ape” is using the word as an insult and he deserves a beat down from there!!!

    Some of Our People have to stop ignoring that fact that our war wages on. It concerns me everyday, because I do not like the thought of those lice heads calling (or saying around) Our Children what they called Our Ancestors!!!! They need to know that it is an everyday thing. We are not free at all in this Hell called Amerikkka even of we have job here!!!!!!!! Nothing is off limits to the pale faced monster!!!

    – Imhotep

  76. In some ways this conversation seems to be negative towards sisters. Just as men are into beauty and a feminine personality women are into ambition and the ability to provide, we encourage black women to excuse brothers from these traits due to white supremacy but we don’t let brothers know that when women are not protected and provided for that is going to impact femininity and to a certain degree looks (for example weight). This does not seem to be a constructive conversation I just feel again that Black women are being told a laundry list of what they need to change. I have friends who literally model or were in show business who are gorgeous and very fit as well as nice and I have been out with them and they are not approached yet I can walk through my city with a mixed friend whether out of shape or not and they get approached. I am a introvert so I get to observe things that happens to others and don’t just judge based on my experience and I have observed that authentic black women are overlooked and if a black woman is dark she has no room for error whereas other women can be off the mark some way and pursued. I know many will say I am in accurate but I have observed this for years and I know people operate on a subconscious level so men may think they are judging all women equally but when you raise the bar so high for authentic black women it may really by an indication that you really don’t want to be with them but need excuses not to be so you can feel ok about your decisions. As humans we do a great deal to protect our egos and feel like we live in line with our values. I just wonder if conversations like this do more harm than good.

  77. Onleilove

    After I posted this, I realized my mistake. I will not be doing any more articles on black relationships or black love to any degree. I agree with your sentiments.

  78. Umoja on said:

    @Eyes Wide Open….

    You said,” Girl, life is short so FTW and just go out and get yourself some TLC. Just remember, for flings at least, it’s about chemistry NOT color.”

    Uuuh!!…Are we just reading this blog for shyts and giggles or something!?
    In other words, are we learning anything, are we talking the talk but not walking the talk?! What’s the point. A fling….whites would loooove to have a “fling” with Blacks….a Sexual Toilet…..fulfilling their curiosity , “what it’s like to sleep with someone Black”….as though we are some sort of odd species….and seeking that proverbial “big c*ck”. Believe me… MANY have the mindset of their ancestral slave-masters. These stories ARE NOT TOLD. Many White men secretly say, ” you’re not a man until you’ve had sex with a BW “. Read between the lines with that one. White women and men travel for the sexual exploitation of Blacks world-wide.

    You know there’s a porn site that is popular as hell, where white men fulfill their sadistic sexual desires with Black women in the most deplorable way imaginable. I won’t mention it….people will investigate, which keeps it alive and well. I’m sure those white eyes on this board will take a look also. smh
    Those white men are white supremacist who act out every deplorable sexual act on those Black women, including call them “n”, “b”, whores, “n-b’s”…. and the like. If I knew how to get it shut down, I would. Whites and unfortunately, Black men, frequent this site regularly—which keeps it alive and profitable. It feeds into the degradation of BW. It’s no coincidence that it’s been popularized at the same time that IRR has been propagated through out.
    I could understand your statement and mindset if you weren’t aware….didn’t know. Sex is one of the main tools that whites use in war….one of the MAIN causes of our continuous downfalls.

    Nothing has changed. It is true, ” No sex with whites as long as this system of white supremacy exist” ( Neely Fuller Jr. ) . If whites didn’t use sex as a tool of destruction, division, annihilation; I’d say go for it….other than that, we’re playing with an INFERNO. I hear many Black men say, ” I wouldn’t marry a White “B” but I would f**k her”….as though they’re getting over on whites. They welcome that mindset with both BM and BW. I don’t get it. Why are we reading if we are doing the same thing, yet cry and complain when our state of affairs haven’t changed….sigh. I’m really trying, but I can’t do this alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a army of one and I’d just like to throw in the towel. It reminds me of a so-called “conscious” brotha’ that I know, who secretly supports Tommy S.
    ( I found out much later) who couldn’t understand his support of T.S. is a complete detriment to unity and healing with his only allies. He couldn’t understand that his support of T.S. perpetuates disunity and hate. Just saying, with all do respect.

  79. I would also add that Blacks need to practice grace towards each other we are both damaged but grace is a two way street.

  80. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:

    I respect Negress immensely for creating this blog and so don’t want to be apart of any non constructive foolishness so I’m going to make a couple of points and be done. Historically, Black women have been no more loyal than Black men to our group. That notion can be easily disproved. The pages of history are heavy with the evidence of Black women whom have mated interracially throughout the ages. I posted on this blog on that topic before but people chose to ignore the facts because we (Blacks) are so myopic, we can’t see the bigger picture. We seem to be prisoners of the moment, always. Black people as a whole, historically, have been disloyal to ourselves and now we’re paying in blood.

    As far as the woman who wrote you, I have two thoughts.
    1) As long as Black people don’t have an identity, these problems will persist. All of our ideas about what makes up a good mate come from a European model. Our personality is a distorted dark skinned European person. Everthing we think about the world derives from their psyche. We see the world through white eyes. Our perceptions of love, sex, entertainment, morality, our sense of humor, the law, ideas of what is or is not fair, physical beauty, family….. Everything. Until we get the little white man or woman out of our heads and replace him with our authentic selves, we will continue to suffer

    2)This seems like another case of “Blame a Black man”. As HLJ explained, there’s nothing in this world, nothing that could happen to me, that would make me desire anothe hard leg. NOTHING. If you want to lay with another woman, so be it, but don’t blame your sexual attraction to women on Black men.

  81. EyesWideOpen on said:

    DOAN said, “ALL black people are mentally ill.”

    So true but at least some of us realize it. If BP are mentally ill, I think it’s safe to say that WP are clinically INSANE. But how many of them realize it? Here’s one who does…

    It finally occurred to me that I was walking around in an open ward mental institution wherever I went. Some of us are sane, more or less, but we are definitely in the minority. Keep in mind that you are surrounded by crazy, dysfunctional people and some of them have guns.
    Les Visible

    Being single in a world full of fuck-ups is actually a blessing in disguise. I could come up with at least a hundred things that are worse than being alone. That said, no man or woman is an island and great relationships are one of life’s best experiences so we owe it to ourselves to do our very best in this area.

    I’m FAR from perfect but I’ve done enough work on myself that I have absolutely no desire to be in any kind of relationship with the “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you can’t have me at my best” generation of arrogant, delusional and lazy women. With few exceptions, their “best” isn’t even close to being good enough.

    It seems that everybody wants to meet the man or woman of their dreams but so few are willing to do the work required to become the man or woman of someone else’s dreams. This has nothing to do with perfection. It’s simply about putting in the work to look our best and develop an attractive personality while still being true to ourselves.

    For example, there’s the stereotype that black men are generally more masculine than white men but I personally had to work at becomin more composed in social situations. Composure – i.e. having a rock solid, unshakable frame – is fundamental to true masculinity and it’s something that women are very sensitive and attracted to.

    Everything seeks its own level. All other things being equal, the more feminine a woman, the more masculine she wants her man and of course, the converse is just as true. We can make excuses for ourselves saying things like “I’m just not a cool guy” or “Femininity is a white woman thing” – WTF? – or we can improve ourselves and reap the rewards.

    It’s much easier to sit around pointing fingers and talking about things in abstract but ultimately it’s a colossal waste of time because it won’t materially improve our lives. Despite the number of fucked up people in this world, we can attract the kind of people we want if we put in the work to become what we want to attract.

    Yes, some people have it really easy and everything seems to fall into their lap without much effort but who said life was fair? Besides, no matter how bad we have it compared to some people, there are millions, if not billions, who have it worse. Our main focus should always be on improving ourselves and working towards the life of our dreams.

  82. Matari on said:


    Powerful video reminder of who we are.
    Thanks for posting this!

  83. Jay in the Black Dimension on said:

    You’re still very young so you have alot to learn. I would just tell you to learn research history a little more. Black people are so caught up in white supremacy that we never studied the pain that other non white/non black people inflicted on us. Study the Arab slave trade and wars on Africans. Study the Indian Ocean slave trafficking of Africans. Study the native American enslaving Africans in the U.S. and Mexico. Eventually you’ll see that we have no friends. 92% of the world is non white but that doesn’t make them Black.

  84. Imhotep on said:

    @ Jay In the Black Dimension
    “We have no friends.”

    Thank you!!!! That’s right!!! There are hotheaded Latinos that are yt washed until they are called and treated like
    “brown people”. And we have that “Collard Greens and Platanos” play out right now. I am shaking my head in disgust!!! How can that play go on after the confrontation GZ had with TM?!!!! Why are We always trying to be friends with everybody?!!!! We call them “people of color” as if we are all treated alike!!!!! I have seen a few of the Latinos around me make “race jokes” about Us hanging from trees as if we do not know Our own history here and beyond!!!!! Then, we have the azns and koreans!!!! They think they can say anything they want to us!!!!!! They speak to us just any kind of way!!!! They tell us what to do when we are around “their stores” (the ones the “govern”ment gives them loans for just to oppress us)!!!! The adults are the most yt washed for the money!!!!! You know we have some of these Puerto Ricans who think they are secretly better than us even when we think of them as friends!!!! They know the deal !!!!

    That is why I dislike when Our Children are not homeschooled! The false ” illusion of inclusion” at these public schools. Our Children will have one friend from every race and believe that “there are good and bad people in every race”. Who could forget this line, “God created us all”? The whole time, that one friend is helping her people only as they help them because of what that one friend is !!!!! At the end of the day, you must stick your neck out for your people!!!! It is everybody for themselves out here!!!! Most people only help the members of their race! Some groups have been known to join forces like the Hispanics and Itlns!!!! It will never be like that for us here!!! We cannot team up with anyone because we have no friends! Therefore, IR relationships are useless!!!!! All members of every race should care about what brings them together and who they are as a people!


  85. Imhotep on said:

    @ Mstoogood4ya
    Agreed. We cannot afford to have name calling at all times of the hour!!!! We should not want that around us!!!! We may have problems with each other due to our genders (every race does) but we must always think of the struggle first!!! We are still slaves!!!! It is important to care about the struggle above all !!!!!


  86. Imhotep on said:

    @ Umoja

    I completely agree!!! We must seperate ourselves spiritually from all that makes up Amerikkka, but never too much (we must survive in it). How do we do that?!!! It is important to remember that everything here was made to make yts more secure of who they are and to know what they “deserve” from life !!!!!

    – Imhotep

  87. THE ALCHEMIST on said:


    You misread me. My mother owned a daycare center in a low income black neighborhood during the 1970s and 1980s. The young mothers would sit down with her and tell her about their problems. I was a fly on the wall. I heard about all kinds of abuse. I have not been abused in a relationship. I listened to those women talk to my mother and learned early on what red flags to look for. Most black women were not lucky enough to hear the kinds of stories I heard growing up.

  88. You are correct. The majority of Black people who marry, marry other Black people. The problem is, how many of us are actually getting married and in response to this woman’s letter – how many black males are actually marrying?

    Unemployment and underemployment play a large role in the willingness to make females mothers but not wives. It’s a twisted display of manhood but it’s one of the pathologies to come out of racism. Racism and the socioeconomic pitfalls that come with it must be attacked – not black women’s desirability.

    IMO, Black women at this point will have to endure a period of tough love with Black males. Not as a punishment but as a help. If we don’t require what’s necessary to encourage manhood, we won’t get it. We have to help the black male to stop ducking what he must confront – racism white domination.

  89. -In shape (NO EXCUSES)
    -(Very) Feminine (both style and personality)
    -Strong desire to please (both in and out of the bedroom)
    -Sweet, Pleasant, Positive, Not Bitchy
    -Lives by “The Golden Rule”
    -Not obsessed with materialism and status
    -No little thuglets running around

    The MEN in a community create the environment where these things are possible. For the enslaved male to ask that the enslaved female whose been picking cotton right next to him, to be as “feminine” as the missus whose man has created an environment for her to be so, is insane.

  90. Truthbetold:

    “Perhaps my first instinct was correct. Maybe publishing this was a mistake. I’ll not do anymore posts on our relations as it is an exercise in futility.”

    No, you did the right thing by posting this article. How else are we going to have open dialogue, with each other? My intent was to open the eyes of our people. I just think that the relations topics, is always going to be a sensitive topic in the black community. No matter what’s being said or how it’s being said, it just a sensitive topic for some people. We all going to have critics that just life.

    I’m just a big fan of your writing; and wanted to state my opinion or point of view of the matter. That’s all! So if you feel like something needs to be posted do it. Who knows? Maybe next I’ll have your back. Plus I learned alot from your writings. I just don’t want you to hold back over a comment. Writing is a freedom of speech and when you hold back, it holds back your followers.


  91. Imhotep on said:

    We all (well, living in this Hell) really just need to realize that we are NOT Amerikkkan citizens !!!! We need to look at that more over our problems as human beings!!!! All of Our lives are NOT valued here, rather you are in an IR relationship or not! We need to remember that it is hard to have any kind of relationship when you are forced to live on stolen land amongst people who do not want to treat you fairly!

    Once you open your eyes to the lives Your Ancestors saw, you realize that Their world is not too different from Ours. The plantation looks different, but Our problem remains the same everytime.

    It is hard for me to even wake up in the morning knowing that I cannot walk out the door and reach for something in my pocket if I need it !!!!

    The biggest problem with Our People is we walk around in this Amerikkka without thinking of what happened to Rekia Boyd. If She was gunned down because her life as an Afrikan Woman is not valued, then what makes me think My life will be valued?!!!!!!

    We need to put Our struggle above all else. It seems like we do not do enough of that until we meet up with Our problem!!!!!! I like this website, DOAN !!!! More of Our People should know of it !!!!! As You know, a day in Amerikkka sure as heck isn’t a day in the park !!!!


  92. “The Afrikan Woman with a Master’s Degree will always have a place in Corporate Amerikkka.”

    It’s unfortunate that you don’t know just how untrue that is. White folks with PHDs are crying the blues in Corporate Amerikka.

    The problem in our “community” is that we have men who compare themselves to women rather than to other men. No other man measures his success against that of his female. To make matters worse, some black males want the reaping of what other men have sowed. I don’t blame those non-black fathers who don’t want their daughters with black males. When you work to create a conducive environment for the females in your community, men in your community should benefit.

    Too many black males want the benefit of a “lady” without putting in the work of a man. That work includes getting a firm understanding of who the real enemy is.

  93. “By the way I have a black women, just incase anyone thought different.”

    Most black men who want a black woman have one. Statistically single means unmarried, it doesn’t mean some dude is not up in your….supplies. It also doesn’t mean black female homicide is not at the hands of mainly black males. It doesn’t mean the rate of maternal homicide is not 11x higher for black women than for white. If the “70%” of “single” black women where truly single, we’d have a better class of black males, who by the way, are unmarried at similar rates to black women. Again, a lot of willingness to make mothers but not wives.

    By the way, I have a Black huuusband.

  94. Sorry but I refuse to subscribe to the belief that ‘there are a shortage of available GOOD BW/BM or just BW/BM’ when there are about 2 billion of us, roaming the planet. Like someone stated above , I feel like that is just used as an excuse for one to either explore IRR or homosexuality. ‘Oh Black men don’t want me – even though there’s only about FOUR where I live, so I decided to start eating pussy’. ‘Oh, ALL Black women are fat and have attitude problems – even though I haven’t been out of my small home town – ever in my life, so I decided to start dating two legged German Shepherds – blah blah blah…’. I don’t see Asian men engaging in homosexual relations with one another or running to women of other races and making YouTube clips about it because apparently and according to the same media that Blacks so strenuously allow to manipulate them, their women are running off with Caucasian men in large numbers. Blacks are the first to let the lies that the media project to you, inspire the negative thoughts we are always conjuring up about ourselves. How naive are we going to continue being?
    If being in a heterosexual mono racial relationship RIGHT THIS INSTANCE is really important to you… and you if really feel like you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to validate your own existence or make you feel ‘pretty’ (and I’m referring to anyone in a similar situation as this conflicted woman), then I suggest moving out of your state perhaps…? Or visiting another country? I was in Paris for 4 days and the brothers, in spite of all the interracial mingling that goes on in France, could not stop ogling me and my sister. Everywhere we went, we saw Black couples. Overly affectionate Black couples to be specific. I couldn’t decide between – as far as seeing it was concerned, discomfort or content.
    I don’t want to come across as indifferent to other people’s experiences with the opposite sex in the same race because I was once the same way – thinking that a man would never ‘love me’ *rolls eyes* – nor do I wish to dismiss the issue at hand but I think what that anyone in a similar situation needs to think about doing something with their self esteem before going on a quest for a mate. Some people act – as far as wanting or needing to be loved by someone outside of themselves is concerned, like they are suffering from a terminal illness and that they need the experience of having a ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ before their time’s up. You have your whole life to live and you’re stressing over whether or not you’re going to be ALONE until you hit your death-bed? What about people who aren’t in a relationship – or who have never been in a relationship, who are actually DYING? I actually found that once I stopped worrying about having a boyfriend (y’know, because all my friends had one) and whether or not I was going to have one – one immediately popped into my life out of nowhere. And I wasn’t even LOOKING for him. They always appear – be it the man or woman you desire, or an object, when you least expect it…when you aren’t looking for it and when you aren’t thinking about it. I really feel like that is true. Just live your life. Jesus fucking Christ.
    And to the lady: if you think forcing yourself to be a lesbian is going to make everything better (settling for pussy because you think that no Black man wants you), then you’re truly mistaken. Sorry. Being in a pretence homosexual relationship is not going to diminish your feelings – or stop you pining for the very men you seem to stress so heavily about. I suspect in fact, that it is just going to make them worse. And then before you’ll know it, you’ll be resenting a group of men that you, as a self proclaimed lesbian – in a relationship with a woman, shouldn’t be even thinking about. How is that even healthy?

  95. “‘Oh Black men don’t want me – even though there’s only about FOUR where I live, so I decided to start eating pussy’.”

    LOL!!! Sorry but this made me giggle.

  96. Imhotep on said:

    We need to put all of this He say She say stuff behind us!

    This is the most terrifying reality to me :


    It keeps getting harder everyday for me to even breath!!!! How can these badged “office” ( what they should stay in) -rs (overseers in the plantation days) be good role models to children?!!!! We’re forced to see them carry around guns in their belts when we cannot!!!!!

    I give myself that one minute to remind myself that there are people who do not want me here, everyday! That is why I call this place, Nightmare Land, because everytime I look up they are erasing Members of My Race from the Earth !!!!!!!! They would like for us to do nothing about it !!!!! That is what is even creepier to me !!!!!!! I hate having to know that I live around such low life slime!!!!!! I have to hear their sirens everyday!!!!! After awhile, I start to hear them in my head!!!! Thugs are their worse fears because most of these gang members travel around like they are family! They think of all of Us as thugs because they are always thinking of their survival! You know the monsters do not want a 10:2 ratio when they do battle!

    Anyway, I like what One of My Greatest Ancestors (All of My Ancestors were great by association) said. Like Marcus Garvey said, “we need to put race first”. Our situatio should have always came before any gender issue. There is no way Our Ancestors would let all of these attacks on Our Youth and Elders go on without a march everyday! Were there people in disagreement with each other over petty things when We marched? Yes, but Our Great Ancestors still knew they had to march together almost everyday to show that We are a force not to be reckoned with!!! I’m not saying that we do not march anymore, but something needs to be done about Our lives!!!!!

    Willie Reed just passed away last week! I wonder who today would do what he did for Emmett !!!!! We need to be there for each other like Willie was for Emmett!!!!! We need to focus on being the great people Our Ancestors were, everyday!!!! Sadly, I do not know a solution to Our problem, either! I do ask how much longer will this go on for?!


  97. “I’ll not do anymore posts on our relations as it is an exercise in futility.”

    It’s not an exercise in futility as long the same ol’ nonsense is not repeated. You made the salient point above in terms of the man’s role. We keep having these discussions but not holding our males to the challenge to be men. We’ve allowed the role reversal. We’ve allowed ourselves, as women, to be unprotected and even assaulted, yet still be required to be feminine and lady-like. We raise unprotected girls then allow them to be criticized as women. The discussion need not be futile – but we must stop with the lying. And each of us as male and female who put forth a requirement for the opposite sex should say how we can help effect that change. For example, we can’t have black women out fighting the white male and female to pay the rent yet expect the male in the home to be a “manly.”

  98. Imhotep

    May I make a small suggestion?

    Meditation does help. By reconnecting with the Creator, you gain more control over your thoughts and actions.

  99. I’ve come across some of your comments pertaining to their being a shortage of good Black me, on both this site and Abagond’s. You’re only 17, right?
    I was like you at your age. Five years later, it gets ‘better’ – a term I’ll use very loosely. You get what you craved so much as a teenager, thinking dick was the salt of the earth or the ‘be of or end all’ (however that term goes) and then wonder if it is really what you wanted. Don’t worry, you’ll see what I mean one day.
    What I find disheartening is that you haven’t even been on this earth twenty years and you’re worrying about the availability of Black men and whether or not you are at that point where you should decide on dating outside of your race. Girl, you are SEVENTEEN! Not THIRTY. Not FORTY…but SEVENTEEN. You’re a practically a baby! Your energy should be divided between enjoying your youth and school work lol…not whether or not you’ll find the man of your dreams. You’re too young for that.
    And trust me, when you’re 22 years old like me – in a perplexing rut with your man, you’re going to wish like Hell that you were a single, care free 17 year old again. I do almost EVERYDAY. Male companions – in the sense we referring to, are as frustrating as they are, comforting. You think you want a man? Wait until you’re in a relationship lol.
    As for now, just enjoy your life girl. Enjoy being 17. Be happy. Because it flies so quickly.

  100. LBM

    I wanted to write a follow up post to this piece regarding another letter I received from a frustrated black female on how to “fix” this problem.

    I’m not sure I should post it.

  101. Alex

    Thank you for the kind encouragement, sir.

  102. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Umoja said: “What’s the point. A fling…”

    Yes, a fling. A great fling, epic romance, whatever you want to call it, is one of the very best experiences in life. Don’t know about you, but unforgettable experiences are what I live for and I refuse to allow RWS to change it. That’s why I said, when it comes to flings, it’s about chemistry NOT color.

    I’m well aware that a subset of BOTH genders and ALL races see other human beings as nothing but “sexual toilets.” I leave them to each other. They’re basically a different species as far as I’m concerned.

    I’m a lover, not a fucker and certainly not a sucker, which is why I’m only interested in fantasy with most women, not reality. I’m interested in sex as a spiritual experience not sexual toilets. I’ve learned how to find the women who think the same.

    Umoja, you and I are at different stages of awareness and growth.. As you admitted in your July 30, 2013, 5:12 AM comment, until recently you’ve had an external focus that you realize has done you no good at all.

    You also said, “We MUST think for ourselves, CHANGE our thoughts, we change our lives.” and… “…All I want and desire is one man. So what… there will always be bad apples; they aren’t my focus.” IOW, you are now realizing the supreme importance of the internal world; i.e. focusing on the right things and elevating your thoughts.

    However, your comment above shows that you are still a bit too focused on external things that are out of your control. I strongly suspect that if and when you find your man, you will be much less concerned with other people’s affairs.

    I’ve had an inward focus for many, many years now because I realized that that is what is most important, that is what really matters. That said, I’m not a prude or a saint. Man cannot live by mental discipline alone.

    cont’d in next comment

  103. EyesWideOpen on said:

    “Why are we reading if we are doing the same thing, yet cry and complain when our state of affairs haven’t changed….sigh.”

    With the way things are in this 21st century, as the saying goes, “I’m not in this world to set it right but to see it right.” For me, it’s about seeing WP the way they really are and where necessary adapting my actions and behaviors as I see fit (eg: no white friends, being self employed, minimizing contact with all non essential whites etc) . There’s no crying whatsoever on my part that things haven’t changed. I’m the architect of change in my life – no one else.

    “… are we learning anything, are we talking the talk but not walking the talk?! What’s the point.”

    I’m not walking to the beat of Mr. Fuller’s drumming or anyone else’s. I march to the beat of my own drummer. I am completely blown away by some people’s obsession with the way other people live their lives. I just don’t get it. You admitted yourself the stress and unhealthiness of focusing on (negative) things you can’t control. It’s completely alien to me.

    The rest of your first and second paragraphs are completely irrelevant to me because they are not my reality. As I said in a comment above, “Trust me, I’m under no illusions about white women.” As for what other black or white men DO or THINK when it comes to sex, I couldn’t care less, it’s not my business, I’m not attracted to men.

    There are white men who use white women as sexual toilets and there are women of all colors who are only interested in screwing every “bad boy” in sight until it’s time to find a SUCKER to get married. Yeah, we know the M.O. Whatever, it’s their business, not mine.

    “I’m really trying, but I can’t do this alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a army of one and I’d just like to throw in the towel.”

    Focus on yourself Umoja. That’s all you can control. There’s no need to be a martyr. You won’t be called to account for anyone’s life but your own.

  104. Imhotep on said:

    @ DOAN

    Thank you for that suggestion.

    – Imhotep

  105. mstoogood4yall on said:

    ok I need to vent. ok so I’m transitioning to natural and its been about 5 months since my last relaxer. I do need to do a deep condition and wash, but anyway I wasn’t expecting to go anywhere today so my hair wasn’t on its best behavior today lol. But my mom was like we are going somewhere right now and I told her I need time to do my hair. so then I just rushed to kinda style my hair and then we get in the car to go and she looks at my hair and starts touching it and was like wtf. Then we go back home and she goes on about my hair feels like a nappy boys hair. I’m starting to get annoyed at the word nappy, I feel like both of the n words need to be destroyed from black ppls vocabulary.

  106. Crissjensen on said:

    @ Victor, The educated black men with the nice salaries and expensive cars who are, for whatever reason, deemed not cool enough or “too nice” by the educated sisters

    That’s the biggestt lie ever told. lol one black men love to use alot. Hmmm! wonder why?

  107. mstoogood4yall on said:

    omg I love kemetprince1 he is so positive and I love his smile.

  108. This is the stuff that don’t get talked about very much…or at all. the blame black women still continues to this very day. she’s always the one for world to blame for the EARTH! failing problems. lol. boy, I tell you!

    Lord, if you don’t hurry and save your women, these devil’s will kill’em with no END.

  109. Alchemist

    My apologies if I picked up on something that wasn’t there. Perhaps if I had those reg flags, I wouldn’t have made those mistakes.

  110. Hey guys:

    Thursday’s post will require us to be passionate and unified. I hope we bring this much vigor to the cause and actually do what needs to be done.

  111. Crissjensen on said:

    The biggest problem with Our People is we walk around in this Amerikkka without thinking of what happened to Rekia Boyd. If She was gunned down because her life as an Afrikan Woman is not valued, then what makes me think My life will be valued?!!!!!!

    Well if the black woman is not Horned, Loved,and Protected at all cost. that is whats going to keep happening.

    and when BW value gose down, your’s suely will.

    it’s only so much you can blame bw for, but the end of the day, it all leads back to the Head. which is the black man it is his job to handle his home community not bw. she was not made to do this all by her-self. where is her helper!

    “BlackWomen” are women and how did the most high make women to be? so making her run this black family by herself is not how it was meant to be. no excuses!

    The Most High Is Not Pleased!! At All.

  112. Well said. Black men and Black women need to stick together! I am all for Black unity.

  113. I agree but first we as a people need to get united first. We need to stop looking for acceptance from White people and love ourselves. Then we need to separate from White people and build our own communities and rely on our strength to get by.

  114. mstoogood4yall on said:

    looking forward to it, but dang u can’t give us a better hint as to what its about lol. Did jesus help u out with the post too, because those are some of the best ones lmbao.

  115. That is good but what about the Black men who disrespect Black women. I have been disrespected by Black men many times in my young life and I believe Black people disrespecting each other needs to stop.

  116. Yes I do look forward to Thursday’s post. Thanks, Negress.

  117. Ms. J on said:

    Honestly, I do not believe in the notion of romantic love that the RWS have told us to buy into. I think it’s been one of the biggest barriers to the unity of Black men and Black women because it’s all about feelings rather than substance. Plus, we can’t have the type of relationships that we need to have in this system. We’re in a war zone, not Nirvana. I think we would all agree that Jews in concentration camps who were trying to putting love over their freedom would be crazy to do so, but we’ve been programmed to do the same. It’s a shame.

    I just think that we’ll save ourselves from the pain if we acknowledge that Black men/women are not going to treat us the way that they should in such unions. Anti-blackness is so strong that even we have bought into the idea that we’re unworthy of proper treatment. I think admitting these truths would also push us to produce better living conditions for ourselves. I just don’t see the “Black relationship” improving under a system designed to attack us.

  118. Diaryofanegress. I say post it. Anything that encourages truth and debunks the oft repeated untruths is a good thing.

  119. Alchemist, concise and correct. That piece about “not letting” a man be a man is critical. No “man” needs permission to be so. Men need to be aware of the things THEY do that put them in the male/boy category. Having a woman provide the roof over his head, provide the food he eats, the cable he watches….there’s just certain things a MAN won’t allow. At least that’s how my grandfather taught his sons and sons-in-law. The role reversal is killing us, literally. Black females are no more protected today than when on the plantation when older women had to “teach” young girls how to be raped. Our males to need to step up and if they can’t, they need to identify why and deal with that. And that “why” is not the Black woman who is victimized without and within.

  120. Thank you. That’s why I stick with nonBlack. The idea that just because one is nonwhite means they’re an ally is just as dangerous as a black man thinking he can produce a Black child with other than a Black woman. A lot of those “nonwhites” mentioned by JayintheBlackdimension were a product of such unions, especially so-called “arabs” of that time. Recent news events reveal, yet again, how the black side of our “latino brothers and sisters” don’t necessarily produce common struggle identity…..Seems like it’s downright painful for us to come to a realization that we have only us and/or to believe that we are enough.

  121. LBM

    Perhaps I, in my humble opinion, can answer this question. I’m sure it will send ripples of anger and outrage to my readers but I’ve never shied away from telling the truth before…

    The reason “why”, my dear, black men do not stand up and fight back in our honour is quite simple:

    1. They are afraid of white people
    2. They are afraid of dying
    3. They are conditioned by various methods of genetic trauma-torture, like buck breaking, to be compliant and docile
    4. They are conditioned to believe that we, their African counterpart, aren’t “worth it”
    5. Their spirit has been broken
    6. They are being controlled by the food, drink, air and music they listen to
    7. They’re tired of fight a losing battle and want to perish so they can finally “be in peace”
    8. They’re full of self hate so when we die, they die…and they’re perfectly content with that
    9. They’re apathetic
    10. They suffer from Stockholm Syndrome

    Now…that’s quite a list, no?

    Now, tell me, if you’ve been brainwashed for 500 years and told that you and your female counterpart “deserve” death, pain, apathy and utter demoralization, not to make excuses…but…that shit eventually catches up with you and you begin to BELIEVE it.

    Why did I create this blog?

    To try and undo the bullshit.

  122. What do you mean by romantic love? I think of romantic love in terms of liking as well as loving the person you’re with. I know of many long term black marriages in which the women stayed but were never really happy. There was no “romance” only duties. When shyt hits the fan, if you’re with someone you have no real “feelings” for, you won’t make but so many sacrifices. This is where we are now, IMO.

  123. Leviqueen on said:

    Black people need to return to the Most High. Speak out to him and the Universe the desires of your heart and it will come to pass. Realistic goals, aspirations and desires!! Black women need to be women stop trying to one up the man and show authority over he black man!! Let him be the damn man!!! There nothin wrong with a beautiful, successful educated black woman but respect your man as the head of the household!! Black men are to cherish their wives and love them like Christ lived the church. A man is supposed to LEAVE his parents home in search of a wife and the 2 shall be joined together!! And on top of that be equally yoked!!! Don’t deal with trifling men or women!! Surround yourselves around awakened, positive and like minded black men and women and you will find your other half!! White people hate to see us together they know the power of black love and the things we can achieve and a strong, positive, living unit!! Esau strikes again!!! Don’t give up black family on each other, our number one adversary the devil/Satan/Esau/the white man is watching hating and plotting.

  124. Ms. J on said:

    I was referring to the notion that you mind goes crazy over that “special someone”, and that the relationship will be – or should be – “happily ever after”.

  125. Well said. I agree.

  126. Tyrone on said:

    “Black Male Psychosis”

    As black people, we have been in denial about the sad state of black manhood in the United States and globally as well. Why is this so? Self-Loathing blackmen don’t deserve membership in our race anyway. They bring forth a lot of pain and misery to blackwomen as a whole. If other women want these type of men, they can have them. I’m not a defender of blackmen. We know right from wrong, our mothers don’t intentionally raise us to hate blackwomen. Sistas need to realize that they’re not the problem. Another point, the militant blackman is dead to me. Oftentimes, the biggest haters of blackwomen. Tyrone was part of the madness just the same. Supposed to be champions of blackwomen, Not So Much! A blackman shouldn’t blabber about being strong, that speaks for itself. Does a blackman fear God and does he love and respect The Original Woman? Blackmen have no right to talk smack about a sista being fed up with our mess. The Tommy Sotomayors of the world don’t fool me, they keep sexism alive in our race. As Negress stated, Women Run The Planet. I accept this reality. Humankind has been lied to in a major way…Religion! The orbit of the planet is wrong. My God is a Blackwoman. My Mama is black, therefore, she is my first love in life. Brothas, if you have no love for Nubian women, Why are some of you still calling yourselves Blackmen? Get a bucket of white paint, and get it over with already. Sistas, Love You More! The enemies of our race attack you because they envy the majesty that is “The Chocolate Rainbow.”


  127. Negress, this is a very well written post. As I reflect on this issue, I think many Black women are single because of their personality or because they live in a mostly White area where there is full of racist devilish White men. The reality is MOST Black men in my generation(I am a young Black woman of eighteen) are either on the down low, in jail or dating non Black women.

    As a young Black woman in her late teens, I believe that I am sort of limited in the area of dating. I do admit to feeling insecure and inferior to non Black females because they are always getting boyfriends but I am not ugly. These days, I am growing out of that insecurity and starting to love myself. It makes it worse that I live in a mostly White area full of racist White devilish men. I would never betray my race and date a White man.

    These days, I don’t know if I should give up finding the right one but I do know that I have a lot of self reflecting to do.

  128. Adeen

    Life is a journey of self reflection and self realization. Please take the time to discover who you are. Ask the creator for help. He’ll never fail you.

  129. Imhotep on said:

    @ Adeen

    It is going to be hard to unite all of our people, sadly. Unfortunately, we are living in the AD (After the Crack Days) times. Some of Our People will not trust others because we are not sure of who is trying to get their hands on something of Ours so they can get their fix.

    We need to start calling each other Sister and Brother again. That is hard to do because yts are always observing what we do from a distance. Unfortunately, we must downplay whatever we do. Saying “hello Brother” and “hello Sister” is certainly a start.

    I see too many of My Brothers walking alone. This has got to stop because it hurts me inside whenever I am driving by them. We know that is open season, too. My Sisters usually travel with each other, but I have seen quite a few lone Sisters too.


  130. Imhotep on said:


    I’m sorry you have been disrespected by some of Our Young Men.

    Unfortunately, as we settle into yet another century with yt people, we are moving away slowly from who we are as Afrikans. Some of Our Young Men do not know who they want to be. I believe that we do have some self-hatred problems that need to be dealt with. Some of Us are getting away from Ourselves because of the yt blood in them.

    Then, there is the hurtful fact that you never see Sisters with their natural completion on tv. Any non-yt yt supremacist knows to dislike Our Folks with natural skin because they see Our Sisters with a natural completion as having a discoloration from who they believe are the best members of society. My Brothers with their Natural Afrikan Skin are being exposed to the media’s doing way too much nowadays. That really isn’t healthy when we are already mentally ill. We need to focus more on being Afrikans. That is the only way to go to get away from this Eurocentric culture.

    Stay Strong

  131. Imhotep on said:

    @ Ms. J

    That’s the truth.


  132. Thank you very much for your response. It is very much appreciated

  133. Pingback: Dear Truthbetold Part 4 | Kemetix

  134. External and internal focus has been my focus….the state of Blacks in general and globally. What ever state we are in globally will and has effected my life….and all Blacks for that matter. The two are not separate. If I had a man it would not change my convictions. What kind of crappy statement is that anyway. smh
    You imply if I had a man, my focus would change….as though a man in my life would change my convictions and passions…wow! It’s identical to a so-called “angry Black woman” is just in need of a man or some “d*ck”. Her concerns and anger totally disrespected and unheard—“She’ll be alright, change if she had a man or some “d*ck”
    I have my own thoughts and convictions with or without a man in my life. Yes, we are at different levels of awareness, but be sure not to use , “all Blacks are sick” in order to excuse “sick” behavior. Many KNOW yet continue the same behavior, the same thinking. Once I knew, I was done. I am surrounded by Blacks who don’t give a dam, don’t care about the state of Blacks and completely ignorant to white supremacy/racism. I’m realizing that many Black folk really don’t care about unifying or anything discussed, nor would I unify with all Blacks as I once desired to do so….many are too far gone. My focus as of today is not unifying with all Blacks, nor do I care to “wake-up” Blacks any more. Nothing spoken here or on any website is anything new. All of it has been said repeatedly for decades. I don’t have the passion as I once did, nor would I want to unite with them all, and honestly many should die along with those whom they’ve been poisoned by….whites

  135. Umoja on said:

    This is one of many reasons why I’ve opted out on Blacks in general….the majority don’t care. ” it’s not my business”, ” live your own life”….ect, ect…..the very mindset that has thwarted unity, COLLECTIVE progress, collective Black growth and progress, collective economic capital and power. Which is why we are getting our asses handed to us on a platter. Which affects us all….collectively. There’s no getting away from that. The majority of Blacks think this way—-individualism. No change. “focus on yourself”, “do you”, “don’t be a martyr” etc, etc. Picking and choosing what’s best for them individually, yet will have “N-moments” and come a running for support from Blacks.
    Blacks HAVE BEEN LIVING BY THIS FOR DECADES. I question why you’re here…..just to do you, but masturbate on knowledge. You are entitled to do so. I’ve realized I’m committed to a cause that the majority have no passion, urgency or care for….they pick and choose what’s best for them individually, but not collectively. I don’t care to change the populous. That’s not going to happen, I’ve realized…. many are too far gone. My focus is with those like-minded and no one less than that. It’s too late in the game to wait on others anyway. Silly me…..I wanted COLLECTIVE unity, collective power and capital, growth and progress for the WHOLE race, not just for me. I’m not mad atcha’…..carry on….do you. Peace

    Individualism is the poison which kills every beautiful dream and hope of a community.

    ~~Alik Shahadah~~

  136. Umoja on said:

    My awareness didn’t begin July 30, 2013. You’ve misunderstood. If you’ve been reading my statements, you’d realize that. During this journey of awareness and awakening….one will experience discouragements and the like…..we are bombarded by them all. It’s the common experiences of war. My focus has changed though…..I do not desire to unite with all Blacks nor do I care to make aware or “awaken” Blacks….many are too far gone, and honestly, they should die also. There’s nothing that can be done with many. My job is to stay clear away from poison as much as I can, whether in human form or via the media…..and to surround myself with those like-minded and those who desire to move forward who are sincere in their commitments, ect. No gray areas.

  137. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Umoja wrote: “My awareness didn’t begin July 30, 2013. You’ve misunderstood. If you’ve been reading my statements, you’d realize that.”

    Trust me Umoja, I haven’t misunderstood. Before I respond to anyone’s comments I read them at least two times. I have pages and pages of great quotes from you because I agree with you much more than I disagree with you. You’ve recently had an epiphany. That doesn’t mean you were completely unaware before that. I get it.

    I wrote [emphasis added]: “…you are now realizing the SUPREME importance of the internal world.”

    See that word “supreme”? It changes the meaning of the sentence. While you may have realized the importance of the internal world before, your recent epiphany clued you in to the “extreme / supreme” importance of it.

    Umoja wrote: “External and internal focus has been my focus…”

    Yes, but as you prove in your comments above and below, and as I said in my comment immediately preceding this one, “you are still a bit too focused on external things that are out of your control.” Irrefutable proof of that is coming right up…

    Umoja wrote: “…nor do I care to make aware or “awaken” Blacks….many are too far gone, and honestly, they should die also.”

    WOW. Wishing DEATH on (some) black people who are still asleep? That is some SERIOUS anger, hatred and a lack of compassion you have for (some) BLACK PEOPLE you don’t even know. You seem to be forgetting that at one point in your life you were still asleep as well. Who should have murdered you? I guess wishing death on black people who are still asleep is another area we’ll have to disagree on.

    Umoja wrote: “You imply if I had a man, my focus would change….as though a man in my life would change my convictions and passions…”

    What I wrote was: “I strongly suspect that if and when you find your man, you will be much less concerned with other people’s affairs.”

    You’re mixing up the words “focus” and “convictions” which are not the same thing. Reread what I said and you’ll see that I made no mention of your convictions. It is a statement of common sense that people who are “in love” or in satisfying sexual relationships are generally much less concerned about other people’s affairs than single people. They are simply too happy and too busy spending time with, dreaming about and planning for their next get-togethers to be wishing DEATH upon their fellow human beings for the crime of being “asleep.”

    Umoja, your anger, hatred, passion – whatever you want to call it – are making you say crazy things and you don’t even realize it.

  138. EyesWideOpen on said:

    Umoja wrote: “This is one of many reasons why I’ve opted out on Blacks in general….the majority don’t care. ” it’s not my business”, ” live your own life”….ect, ect….”

    As I’m about to show, you’re being very disingenuous and hypocritical. I’m saying, “I couldn’t care less, it’s not my business” about Black People who are still asleep AND SO ARE YOU! Three comments above, you wrote [emphasis mine]: “My focus as of today is not unifying with all Blacks, NOR DO I CARE to “wake-up” Blacks any more.”

    Since you say you don’t care and you also say that you’ve opted out on blacks in general because they don’t care, have you opted out on yourself?

    Umoja wrote: “I question why you’re here…”

    There would be no need for you to question why I am here if you were paying attention. In this very thread I said…

    My “agenda” as a commenter on this blog is twofold:
    1) Convincing awake BP that WP are hopelessly evil and not our friends (I don’t care about the exceptions – they are a trap) and

    2) Encouraging us to focus on ourselves and the things we can control – especially the internal / mental things – rather than the external things that we can’t control and that are really none of our business.

    The link in my second to last comment just above leads to this…

    I’m here to learn the truth and to share the truth, as I see it, about caucanderthals because the truth really will set us free IF, and only IF, we internalize it.

    In Sister Truth’s 300th Anniversary post I wrote…

    I’m still working on detachment and deprogramming which is a multi year, intensive process but IMO, it must be done because there can be no true mental, emotional or spiritual freedom without first breaking free of the mental chains which hold us back and keep us from realizing our full potential.

    Trust me Umoja, if you were as focused as I am on the internal things that really matter you would have absolutely no time or energy to waste;
    1) arguing with white TROLLS on the internet
    2) bombarding yourself with negative media (your words)
    3) having “anger” (your word) about things you can’t control &
    4) wishing DEATH on (some) BP who are still asleep. W-T-F?

    Those things hurt YOU, not me or anybody else. They waste YOUR time, stress YOU out and eat YOU up inside. IMO, you should be INFINITELY and urgently more concerned with correcting those self-sabotaging (mis)behaviors and negative emotions than with the affairs of others.

    By contrast, me having short term flings – which are about fantasy, not reality, not delusion, not friendship, not bf/gf, not husband/wife, not babies – where black and non-black women come over for a couple of hours of “happy time” harms absolutely no one on the face of this earth – certainly not me. Quite the opposite in fact. Living in such a fucked up, dysfunctional world, IMO, people need less reality and more fantasy in their lives.

    Umoja wrote…
    Individualism is the poison which kills every beautiful dream and hope of a community.
    ~~Alik Shahadah~~

    Um, what is this blog right here? This is a community of like-minded black people (for the most part lol) where we come to vent, learn, share, encourage and sometimes disagree.

    I care about black people who are AWAKE. I don’t care about black people who are asleep – they must wake up on their own time but I certainly don’t wish them DEATH – and I certainly don’t care about people of any race who use others as “sexual toilets.”

    There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self.
    Aldous Huxley

    Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change,
    the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
    St. Francis of Assisi

    Others will manage or mismanage their own little kingdom. That is their business. See to it that you reign strongly over your own. Your entire well-being lies there. Leave the world and come back to yourself.
    James Allen

  139. Tyrone on said:


    As you correctly stated, It’s A Game! The Swirl is a tool for the powers that be to keep black women and men divided. Whites are able to keep colorism alive and well in our race, which benefits them. Strong, loving relationships between black women and men is the key to our survival…Bottomline!

  140. Tyrone on said:


    Yes, African Queens are the prettiest on the planet. But, What makes a woman black? I ask this question because it applies to other women of color. The vast majority of women on this planet are black, brown, caramel, and tan. In the past, it was just about whitewomen chasing after blackmen, today, all types of women play the game. Blackwomen have blame as well, actively encouraging other WoC to see themselves as beautiful women with a tan. Many sistas assumed that the other colored girls would not step on their toes, Not So! In my mind, the real battle is between brown and a lighter shade of brown. Whitewomen are too small in population to matter at this time in history. Blackmen are acutely aware of this as well. Native-American, South Asian, and Polynesian women are Colored. How Middle-Eastern and Spanish whitewomen got lumped into the colored category is a mystery to me…They’re White! This may not seem important to most sistas, but it is. Understanding the cause and consequences of racial behavior is vital to us getting over this hump. How do blackwomen feel about other WoC portraying themselves as pseudo blackwomen? I don’t think most blackmen would be okay with “Other” men running around thinking they’re black males, and i would assume that blackwomen would feel the same way. We need to move the convo along, hit me back when you get the time?


  141. Imhotep on said:


    Our Natural Skin is the greatest skin in the world to have! Many people tan everyday to look more like you, but they will not admit it. Because they cannot be you, they see to it that yt supremacy is everywhere. Unfortunately, Afrikan Men can be very shy! Many of Us see Our Natural Sisters as a Very Gorgeous and Kind. I would go as far as to say Our Natural Sisters are the NICEST WOMEN ANYONE COULD KNOW. Some Brothers are afraid that We may not be enough to You. Some of Us do not know what they can offer to Our Sisters in a relationship. Bare in mind that a lot of Us see Our Mothers as Mothers first (because of yts) and not Afrikan Queens. So, some of Us are unsure of Ourselves when We are around You.

    There is some self-hatred in Our Community, unfortunately. It seems like My Natural Brothers do go for My Sisters with lighter skin. No one in Our Community thinks to hold serious discussions about this self-hatred. There are Brothers with light skin that are turned off by Sisters with that skin type. Worst of all, some of those Brothers would much rather have a lice head over Sister with their skin. Yes, Our Natural Brothers do go around believing that “they have made it because they have a whyte woman”. I think Our mental illness has something to do with all of this.

    I am telling You all of this so that You know that Brothers (such as myself) are hurt when We see Our Sisters with these yt apologist. It deeply hurts me. It should hurt All of Us to see Our Sisters going with Our oppressor. How is a yt apologist an oppressor? Yt apologist just want these klansmen to know that they are not satisfied with them being members of the “why” race. Yt apologist never plan to undo the work their ancestors set out to do and did. These Yt apologist never take money out of their pocket to even buy water for any of Us. In their defense, a lot of Us would (and could never) trust them. Yt apologist should, at least, take out a brick in the wall that is yt supremacy. It is hard for them to do that because they would not have a job without yt priviledge. If there are “good white people” they should be fighting for a better tomorrow. These yt apologist never do. That is why no one takes them seriously when they say “they aren’t racist”.

    I don’t get yt apologist. If they are “good white people” they should know to leave Our Sisters and Brothers alone because of what Our Ancestors faced. They show zero respect by ignoring that We here in the 1600s because of their people. That is why there is no such thing as “the yt apologist”. I only call them “yt apologist” because they believe they are being just that.

    Our Whole Community needs to have a group discussion about the changes yt people (by forcing themselves on Us) made (and still make) to Our Society. We are ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE UPKEEP OF OUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER.



  142. Tyrone on said:


    Hope all is well with you and the fam. As you stated, the current generation of young black males leave a lot to be desired. How do blackwomen interact with a clique of black males that have been conditioned to dislike/hate their better half? A lot of sistas think brothas are the same, Not So! I hate the self hatred just as much because i know that it’s a game to the enemies of our race. Both parties are complicit…BM and WW. The IRR issue is not about whitewomen allegedly being better than blackwomen, that’s a smokescreen. Sista, don’t waste oxygen on that issue? The issue, is, Why are some blackmen helping advance the cause of White Supremacy on the backs of blackwomen? This is the crux of the issue. We waste a lot of time and energy on a group of women that will always envy blackwomen just because. Sistas, our brothas are not well right now. We need therapy in a major way. Hatred within blackmen is sad to me, we have no reason to hate ourselves and our reflection…The Struggle Continues!


  143. Tyrone on said:


    As black people, we need to keep our eyes on the ball. We allow our eyes and ears to deceive us. Understand the game sistas and brothas? White males set up traps for blackmen to fall into, so we’ll self-destruct. In doing so, the black female is vulnerable to influence and contact with whitemen. Why is it so hard for our people to understand this? As far as whitewomen are concerned, Who Cares? The power and wealth that Casper has on this planet is because of Blackwomen…Recognize! We’re shocked that he wants his women to jump into bed with blackmen, He Wants This Scenario. It’s good that we air out the dirty laundry in our race, but, we need to comprehend the Law of Cause & Consequences. Why are so many blackmen in prison…Duh? Why are gay blackmen glorified in white and black media…Duh? Come on black people, we need to pinpoint what this sickness is really about. Otherwise, we’re going in circles forever.


  144. Imhotep on said:


    “White males set up traps for blackmen to fall into, so we’ll self-destruct. In doing so, the black female is vulnerable to influence and contact with whitemen.”

    That’s correct. Some of Our Sisters walk around unaware of how the albino son would do anything to make HIS MOTHER happy. Afrikan men go through so much pain EACH DAY because Jah made Us the FIRST EVER MAN. The albino son cannot stand that it is this way. So, at first, he wanted to eliminate Us all so he could FORGET we were ever alive. Then, he realized that he could never do such a thing because of his love for Our First Mother. So, he took Our Sisters and raped them first, and made them stay in house later.

    I have often looked at Our albino son. He absolutely will never love the Afrikan Man. Sometimes, he will be nice to Us when no Afrikan woman is around. I believe he likes that Jah made Us in The First Ever Mother’s image. Because We are the FIRST sons and Father Ever Made, he will never want to see Us.

    With that said, the flag is red, white, and blue for good reaon. The albino son and daughter will always be “Red, white , and blue”


  145. Tyrone on said:


    Albinos(Whites) have been miserable from the jump. They hate their white skin, and will take any and all measures to rectify the genetic mutation that is “Whiteness.” Another way to view this issue. Whitemen want to eliminate blackmen from the planet, and create a Neo-Black Race on their terms. A lighter, diluted form of blackness…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Ish! They don’t fool me for one second, but the same can’t be said for other blackmen. Ideologies & Concepts and Modes of Thinking are what i contribute to the convo. Ty is not the smartest, well-read brotha on DOAN. I want our people to look deeper, what we see on the surface doesn’t matter. Stay Up Blackman!!!


  146. Imhotep on said:


    It is hard to tell Who of Our race is in denial about the sad state of black manhood everywhere. Most of Us know how it is for Us all everywhere. We do not want to believe that it is that way, everyday. We want to live life regardless. We believe in Jah (God) because We want to believe that Jah will deliver from all evil around Us. It is true, there is no such thing as a normal life for Us (As the First Ever Race) anywhere. We,as a race, are the greatest celebrities on Earth. (Our albino sons and daughters) want to flip the truth to make Us all love them only. There can never be a normal life for any of Us when the Afrikan Woman (and All Women Made In Her Image First) are seen as the Mother to All Civilizations.

    It is strange how the albino sons and daughters do not mind exposing themselves to Us and “calling themselves racist”. Look at what happened to DOG The Bounty Hunter. It was revealed that he thinks of the black race all of the time because he uses “the n-word” everywhere. When you think about it, he made things “the way they believe it should be” for his son. His son (Our albino other son), claiming he is not racist(anti-Black in this case), so he got an Afrikan Queen out of that whole deal. Unfortunately, I believe his father (another albino son) was deeply upset to see his son with a Sister when he wished he could have one (very secretly).

    They create their own destruction when they harm Us. So, they are never happy about what they are doing to themselves as “the albino son and daughter” when they lay a hand on Us. We, as Afrikan Men, will never have a normal day with either albino around. They know they need power for Us to love them. Because of that, We will always be their slaves. It is real sad, but that is the way it is. Hopefully, the afterlife will be full of Us all, only. I guess I do pity Our albino sons and daughters in this whole situation, at times. All they want, like most enemies in every story, is love! In that aspect, love is evil because it is the reason why Our Sisters and Brothers leave this planet all of the time.

    It does seem like Our albino sons and daughters are confused too much. I have heard stories of yt men (Our albino sons) murdering Afrikan women. I think them having to live around Us but not be with Us comes back to hurt Us in the end. An albino who believes he will never get the love he needs from The Original Source (Sister-Queens) does sometimes harm Our Sisters to get even with them. I have seen Our albino daughters do the same to Brothers.

    We, as a People, are completely unsure of what to do in all of this. We just want peace and justice. Do not believe for a second that all of Us like living in these large houses. As Afrikans (and Our subgroups), We miss Our ceremonies at night, everyday. We are not allowed to live as Afrikans (and descendants of Afrikans) because of all the damage Our albino sons and daughters do. Who knows what to do in all of this? I hope things can get better. I hope We are getting to the end of all of this. Living, as an Afrikan Person, is just too sad. Fortunately, We know We are Strong! That is what keeps Us alive and kicking in all of this.


  147. Imhotep on said:

    Thank you, Ty!

    Yes, it seems like if Our albino sons and daughters cannot have the life they want for themselves (selfish folks), then they will “take us away” and start a new civilization. The men have never fooled me. I always saw them for who they were. They make it so well known when they never look at Us or show they are afraid of US (yes, afraid of Us, ironically).

    The po-po (poor poor minded) never like when We are in their neighborhoods (white picket fence neighborhoods, of course). So, they put the po-po in them all of the time. I am not sure if they could ever truly erase Us All from history. It hurts the yt man ever time he calls Our Women “ni@@er b—–” because he wishes everything would turn out better for him and Her. The albino daughter does not cry, but turns extremely red when she calls the police on “The Greatest Lover Ever For Her”.

    Right now would seem almost perfect for them. Our Queens may love Us, but they take care of and love their albino sons whenever they act as caretakers for money. Our unconscious Brothers do spend time at the albino daughter’s house quite a lot these day. When they do not, there are always the forums online. So, fortunately, they seem just happy enought to get by.


  148. Imhotep on said:

    @ Tyrone

    Stay Up, Brother!

    I forgot to say that in my last post.

    This fall could be a really interesting time if the boycott goes well. I have seen Our albino daughters turn red when We wear Our Natural Garb everywhere.

    So, they will have to do something to change the face of history, this time around to make Us happy and themselves happy.

    Peace Brother and Love Always,

  149. Tyrone on said:


    Thanks for the feedback Brotha, It’s Appreciated! One Mind, One Thought! Rebuilding the bond between sistas and brothas is the greatest gift that we can pass on to humanity. Sistas never gave up on us, and i will always love that about them. Imhotep, Teach Them Brotha!


  150. Imhotep on said:


    It looks like We are all We have in this world, yet again! We will only understand what it means to truly be The Afrikan Man! We know ALL yt men hate Us! We know that they see nothing wrong with harming Us! Fortunately, We are strong! We must embrace This! We have it harder than everyone else in the world! We never asked for it to be this way! Scandal (stupid show anyway) was the number one show last spring! Why do Our Sisters that watch these shows and enjoy playing the prostitute part?! They like that?!!! No respect for The Mother ever!!!! All of that happened when Trayvon was not featured in the “noose” (news) anymore. You know they mention Him once, and then skip to trial pretty much! Let them do that for a yt girl, and they all would lose it! They could never dedicate even ONE MINUTE to A Male Descendant of a Brother hung from a tree! They know darn well that Oscar Grant deserved more than a movie! Where is the awareness?! Not everyone has to see Fruitvale! Yet, these idiots claimed We lived in a “post-racial” world during ’09-’11! Worst part of it all, Our Sisters go around believing We love ww only. They do not seem to realize that Paris Hilton “does not like Black Guys” when Brothers do something to upset Her! Heck, if the yt woman ever loved the Black Man, He would never face all the racism He does! Therefore, the yt woman could never (and doesn’t) love the Black Man! She gets used every time by the yt man! PH might apologize, but that does not make up for the fact that she said that!

    You know, We have no friends in this world as usual! Hopefully, Our Sistas will get it together! Our race deserves more than this!

    Carry On Brotha,


  151. White devils are truly evil and satanic. The White man is the devil. And they envy us because we have beautiful brown skin and never age and we are physically stronger and genetically stronger than those White, albino demons. They also envy the fact that we were the first people and built civilization while their albino asses lived in caves.

    As a Black woman, I don’t condone dating or marrying White people. Since I know the true nature of White people, I will never agree to date a White man. I know his fellow cave bitch raised him to hate Black people and look at us as inferior. Both of them work together to keep the White supremacy and racism alive.

  152. Yes I am a Black woman and I haven’t given up on Black men. They seem not to like me. I am 17/18 and I feel like I will never find a nice Black man to date. Most of them in my age group date non Black women.

    We need to stick together as a race of people but my generation seems so lost.

  153. I don’t speak for all Black women but most Black women I know are on your side, don’t worry. I don’t watch Scandal, only sellout Black women watch Scandal. Scandal is a perfect show for sellouts to watch their fantasy being played out on TV.

    Black women who date White men side with White men in our oppression. That is why I will never date a White guy.

  154. Imhotep on said:


    “I am 17/18 and I feel like I will never find a nice Black man to date. Most of them in my age group date non Black women.”

    Well, I guess they will only trust Sistas now knowing Zimmerman and all policemen have cousins and Aunts! Sellouts!


  155. Imhotep on said:


    TV was obviously made for yt men only.


  156. Imhotep on said:


    How can they not be?

    Black Panthers (New and Old) aren’t around. Soul 2 Soul is gone. Our TV shows only feature interracial couples nowadays. Where is the pro-white man during this interracial TV season? We hear nothing from him lately. These shows should not even be around with pro-yts in the world.


  157. cinnamonshorty on said:

    This is the first time I have heard about a BW deciding to a woman because of a preceived lack of options. What is interesting about discussions like these, is that they do not take place amongst BW who date out.
    Many of the comments seem to center around the disconnect between genders and falling for the WM plans. Well the WM plans would not be successful without willing participants.
    It is the men who are responsible to lead, protect and provide for the women and children of their respective race, it is not the job and responsibility of the women to take that role. There is so much imbalance in the BC and for a long time this status quo has been a benefit that BM enjoyed. Well times
    have changed and social dynamics are shifting and it is BW taking the reigns
    and looking out for themselves first. Its about time. We will eventually unite and get it together as a race, but before that can happen, BW must balance the playing field in all areas of life. They have already started and will

  158. Tyrone on said:


    To understand the insanity of blackmen, we need to turn back the clock. A lot of blackmen are gonna hate me for saying this, but it needs to be said out in the open. The self-hating blackmen that we see today are disciples of the ‘Black Power Movement.” This so-called movement was for and about black males, not black love and unity. A consequence of what took place in the 1960s, is the notion of blackmen coveting whitewomen to avenge what was done to blackwomen during slavery. Notice the fact that black male/white female unions began to increase around the time period of “Radical Change” in Amerikkklan? Blackwomen have never linked together the racial baggage that came out of blackmen supposedly asserting their manhood. We assume that the nerdy, bookworm brothas are the most insecure of all blackmen, Not So! Oftentimes, so-called militant blackmen are the most self-loathing. Example, a lot of blackmen are quick to claim their mixed children as black to cover their asses, Why? As a blackman, Ty is not a follower of the gospel that says any mixed child born to a black father is automatically black. These men claim to love black so much, but, they don’t want to have real black babies with blackwomen. The One Drop Rule is still around because of these men, it’s the perfect alibi for them. In my world, for someone to claim black, they must have a black mother…Period! I don’t support that foolishness. Another point, the problem of black male violence and incarceration can be traced back to the 1960s as well. The blackmen that kill our people claim to be the realest and blackest of thee, they’re full of s**t. Blackwomen need to know the ugly truth about us, so they don’t keep making the same mistakes. The blackmen that we see in hollywood, hip-hop, sports, and marxist movements worldwide are in the same box. Sistas, sincere blackmen are not the norm in either group, please believe me when i tell you this. Militant blackmen get in bed with the enemies of our race. I love Malcolm X, but he stabbed brothas in the back. No sane blackman would ever associate with a group of men that enslaved blackwomen and raped them…White Arabs. Again, the so-called militant blackmen talk s**t about whitemen all the time, but they give whitemen from Spain a pass, Why? Blackmen ignore the fact that Espana was and is the catalyst for White Supremacy on this planet. These blackmen have a fetish for so-called Latinas, so they ignore the racist history of Spaniards. Spanish women are symbols of white male rape and black female self-hatred, any blackman that lust them is sick in the head. Basically, the rape of of our foremothers is glorified and okay within their psyche. Why would any self-respecting blackman disrespect our foremothers in that way? Tep, we avoid talking about the real as blackmen, Problem!


  159. Imhotep on said:

    “A consequence of what took place in the 1960s, is the notion of blackmen coveting whitewomen to avenge what was done to blackwomen during slavery.”

    I hear You, Brotha. How can a Brotha think they are getting back at the “why”-te man” by having intercourse with what came out of them ( Their oppressor) ? That’s what a stupid person does. Since when did the yt woman (who works with the oppressor for the oppressor ONLY) become a good person after watching Our Ancestors hang from a tree?

    Those sellouts reminds Me of Kalinga (created from those sellouts) from “I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka”. I have always suspected it had something to do with the yt blood (that no one wants to talk about) in Us ALL born here. Some of Us make the mistake of believing that Our Natural Brothas do not have yt blood in them. It seems like anyone of Us with their “cold weathered mutant albino blood” in Us can be prone to liking “why-tes”, unfortunately. That is why We MUST speak about Ourselves as Blk People EVERYDAY!

    We cannot get distracted as a race, EVER! “Why-tes” are now saying that “you don’t know if my grandfathers were slave owners are not”. They are pushing a new agenda for Us to believe that they have no responsibility over the way everything is in this yt man’s world”. Unfortunately, “Us with the mental illness and oppressor’s blood” in Us want to believe that they are “good people from birth just like you”. They are never to be trusted, as You know.

    We have to let this “good people, bad people” junk go. Yts want Us to buy that so We never ask for reparations or power! Like The Honorable Marcus Mosiah Garvey mentioned, We must think of Ourselves as Blk People first above all. A yt person is a yt person! A yt person (having zero self-denial) wants to stay a yt person! A yt person NEVER cares for a Blk Person. They want Us to “be good people for them” because they love themselves WAY too much!

    Stay Safe Brotha,

  160. Imhotep on said:


    Yts have ZERO SELF-DENIAL because of the mutation that took place in the Caucasus Mountains! Period! How do I know this? A yt man is the only man on the planet with thin bodies that walk off into a cool place believing that “the yt man does not need to know about pneumonia because I, a yt man, have seen other yt men walk in 34 degrees weather without a jacket on”. A person with ZERO SELF-DENIAL is crazy!!!!!! They are the scariest people alive!!!!!! We don’t look at them for who they are enough! That mutation may have ruined everything for all of mankind. Scary stuff when You think about it!


  161. Imhotep on said:


    They’re scarier than everyone because they’ll deny that they have ZERO SELF-DENIAL (“A yt man does not have ZERO SELF-DENIAL, why do you always hate yt men?”). They can boggle anyone’s mind. Scary stuff. All of the other non-yt cultures directly came from Us and anyone can see that. All non-yts only seem like they are against Us because “they fear the iceman”. I know for a fact that some of these non-yts know what yts do is wrong. In fact, there have been azn men who have attacked yt men, but they can’t see why because of the yt man’s “denial of having self-denial”. Wow!


  162. Imhotep on said:


    Fortunately, there were Brothas and Sistas during slavery days that resisted conditioning. Unfortunately, a lot of Our Brothas and Sistas were conditioned into “believing that they can be like yt people”. Because of that moment, today, some of Our People believe that they can be “a better y person than a yt person themselves”. How does one become “a better yt person” first? They befriend yts, simple as that. From there, the rest is history.

    Some of Us are still slaves that don’t realize it.

    The Euro way of life is so different from that of the Afrikan way of life. Let’s look at what we do wrong, unknowingly :

    1.) We speak in their language.

    2.) We own houses now forcing Us to believe that We are now the slave master because the slave master is not around”. Worst, We believe We can be better than them at that, but secretly.

    We must find Afrika in Our Heads again and stay in it. But, We cannot do that because yts will remind Us that it isn’t Afrika.

    This WHOLE situation is annoying. One sad accident in the Caucasus Mountains and here We are. Yikes! We are not “Blk people”, We are Afrikan or Carribean! Never abandon Your first true culture!

    (I’m sorry to ALL of My Family that I did not write this in Swahili)

  163. Tyrone on said:


    We can’t exist on this planet with them, this is the ugly truth that black folk run away from. No matter how much we try to “Get Along” with them, they will forever hate “The Sun People.” They hate blackwomen the most, because, she is God, Humanity, Africa, Mother Nature, Creation…All Of The Above! The War that we’re fighting with Sir Pale and other men is real, So Real! Sadly, it’s too late for many blackmen. They dislodged themselves from their foundation, and as a result, got sucked into “the matrix” that is white supremacy. You and I are still alive and breathing because we know the game, we know what’s at stake. A planet full of men fighting over one woman…WWIII


  164. Tyrone on said:


    We will get it together, but, blackmen can’t keep running away from their destiny. Blackmen are supposed to make the world a better and safer place for black women and children…Period! It’s not our job to love other women, they have their own men. If blackwomen didn’t love themselves so much, our race would have died off a long time ago. “Thank God For Blackwomen, Where Would We Be Without Her?” Sista, Thank You For Loving Blackmen Despite The Madness!!!


  165. Imhotep on said:


    That’s the truth, Brotha.

    I just realized that I cannot wean off of the Amerikkkan language even if I wanted to.

    It’s too bad some of Our Brothas do not realize that “the non-Sistas they adore” love to secretly (and sometimes openly) harm Our Sistas (The First Women Ever)!

    It is amazing how the all of Us (whether We know it or not) are in this war.

    Hopefully, everything will restored to the way it was in the very beginning. I pray to Jah everyday that it happens.


  166. Imhotep on said:


    Yes, I hear you, it is too bad the sell-outs don’t appreciate that they were made in The First Mother’s image to love Our Sistas! Our Sistas need protection everyday!
    It’s sad, I have seen some conditioned female sellouts (I guess They are still Sistas) say that they don’t care about the very beginning. If only these sellouts knew how yt men (open and hidden rapists) were from the very beginning. Non-Blk men aren’t as egotistical as yt men and they can stay to their own races, most of the time. I don’t take so much offense when I see one of “Jah’s Greatest Creations” (All Sistas) with a non-Blk man. Those Sistas look for everything in a “non-Blk man” that a Brotha has! That’s always good to know. We are the STRONGEST people alive!


  167. cinnamonshorty on said:

    “A planet full of men fighting over one woman….WWIII.”

    Expand on this comment please.

  168. Imhotep on said:


    “They hate blackwomen the most, because, she is God, Humanity, Africa, Mother Nature, Creation…All Of The Above! ”

    I, for some reason, believe that yt men hate Our Sistas because of the mutation that took place at the Caucasus (yts don’t like being called “Caucasian”, strange). I wonder if before the mutation, albino men always thought they were superior to everything. I just image, for some reason, that as “albino sons”, they still loved their Mothers. That would explain why you see yt men with Sistas. I believe the yt man is still an albino at times. Because of the mutation, ALL yt men hate Sistas. A yt man CAN be in a relationship with a Sista, but it could NEVER work out. The yt man believes, in his mind, that ONLY he can be correct. The yt man loves himself more than he realizes! That’s what it all boils down to. You’re right, the yt man is still in this war because he believes that he can own Our Sistas somehow. Some of Our Brothas don’t even realize that some yt men may have Our Ancestors’ corpses in their basements. The yt man is the ONLY man who cannot have love, anyway you look at it, because he loves himself first. So, he cannot have physical love. That is why I fear for the lives of ALL of My Sistas (sellout or not)! These Sistas in relationships with yt men don’t realize they are objects, underneath it all. If they mess up, then We all know what the yt man is capable of doing. That’s really scary stuff!


  169. cinnamonshorty on said:

    Most BM are fully aware that they are dating, procreating and marrying women who speak their hate for Black women to anyone with a willing ear. The reason they feel so comfortable doing it, is because those BM allow it. Some WM, who are interested, have been sitting on the sidelines watching
    this play out and in recent years have been making their move on Black women. Ironically, they are making
    sure to praise the attributes of BW that they hear some BM bash. It is intetesting to say the least to watch this play out on a national stage.

  170. Imhotep on said:


    I can answer this for you, too. All Sistas are made directly in the image of The First Mother Ever (The Mother of All Civilization). A Sista was the FIRST EVER PERSON ALIVE!

  171. Imhotep on said:


    That’s just the thing. WM aren’t interested in Sistas exactly. WM are hoping that they find “someone who compliments them ONLY” in “the image of The First Ever Woman and Person Made”. The yt man may look for physical love, but he will NEVER have the physical love he requires after “the Caucasus Mountain mutation”. The WM really loves himself, in the end of his story on Earth.

    The BM is really the ONLY lover for the BW. The WM only, basically knows, that “The Person Made With the First Facial Features” is the most gorgeous….to make love to and nothing else. Money, aggression, and sex is all the WM cares about! That is why the BW must stick with the BM. There is SUPPOSED to be safety when the BM is with the BW. The BM was the FIRST FATHER. The BW gave birth to Him as the First Man and Lover on the Planet She Gave Birth To.


  172. Imhotep on said:


    “WM are hoping that they find “someone who compliments them ONLY” in “the image of The First Ever Woman and Person Made”.”

    I’m sorry, let me re-phrase that. The WM is not looking for “a human being in the BW”. WM want the BW to agree with EVERYTHING HE TELLS HER TO DO. That is why WM love the idea of slavery. He really really loves himself, but he does not want to hear that from anyone! He has ZERO Self-Denial (He never denies himself, he knows always right even when it seems like he should know he is wrong, innately)! The mutation from albino male into WM at the Caucasus Mountains was the WORST mutation to ever happen to a human being.


  173. Imhotep on said:


    “Some WM, who are interested, have been sitting on the sidelines watching
    this play out and in recent years have been making their move on Black women.”

    ALL WM deserve to be sitting on the sidelines, alone!!!!!


    They deserve nothing from BW, EVER!

  174. Tyrone on said:


    Simple Answer…Genetic Diversity! The bloodline of Nubian Women is Infinite. Sista, The Blood within you and other blackwomen is priceless. Yes, men fight over “The Sun Queen.” In time, you will understand your power as a blackwoman.


  175. Tyrone on said:


    “The Web We Weave.” As you stated, Casper has been a good student. The comical aspect of this soap-opera, has been the response of blackmen who “Step Out.” Amongst all blackmen, they’re the most upset, Why? Whitemen punked them, and they know it deep down. Blackwomen are the bigger prize, even Becky knows this to be true. Black Beauty is Timeless, which is why Casper wants to wake up next to a 60ish blackwoman who looks like a 40 year old. Whiteboys 1, Blackboys 0…Check Mate!


  176. Tyrone on said:


    I hear you loud and clear. Any man that covets blackwomen has great taste, but is he PBW…Pro Black Woman? Swirlish BW or BM? Are both equally bad, or, is there a difference? If a gun was pointed at my head, i would have to say that black male rejection of BW is the greater evil…Why? Blackwomen are Edible, How could any BM choose another over “The One?” Logic is the determining factor!!!


  177. cinnamonshorty on said:

    @ Ty and Imhotep, I know you’re older BM, the young one’s don’t speak like this about BW…lol.

    @Ty…Checkmate? That phrase is only used when the “game” is over.

    Thanks for your responses guys!

  178. Imhotep on said:


    I have seen some young Brothas hold conversations with each other about who they would much rather have as a girlfriend. Because They are young, “tell-lie-vision” influences them to believe that having “a wet dog smelling, 12 year old boy bodied, hairy, loose, lice headed, and airheaded yt lady” is a dream girl. I believe they would much rather marry a Sista. They know that “yt ladies are “only fresh when they are young”. Those young Brothas do not even realize that they are looking for The First Mother’s Gorgeous Features in these boring yt girls (Our mutated abino daughters who are attracted to Brothas, even when they don’t show it). No other woman could EVER look like The Mother of All Civilization but a Nubian Goddess! My Sistas are the most beautiful people on Earth! I love My Family! We are the people with morals everywhere We go. Unfortunately, the yt man is introduced some of Our People to everything that is wrong with the world to make himself happy above all. Then, he blames Us for destroying neighborhoods.

    Anyway, You’re welcome, Cinnamonshorty.


  179. @Eyeswideopen makes some very valid points, yet most just seem so caught up in the same tired out old banter that never seem to end! In the early on in the 1990’s Bro Hemmitt said that in the next 20-30 years most of us will still be debating the same old issues, when the whiteman is steadily improving on his tactics on our behind. Today it just seems that we’re no longer content to beat a dead horse, now we want to F it as well as live with it, not on just issues like this but a whole lot of issues that he has managed to convince us is “new”.

  180. Imhotep on said:


    “They also envy the fact that we were the first people and built civilization while their albino asses lived in caves.”

    It’s sad, The Mother of All Civilization had the Greatest Love Any Person Could Give. I don’t believe She wanted Her albino children (who weren’t as bad before the mutation) to stay far from Her. They ran off because they saw that they looked different from The First Mother’s First Children. From there, the albino son and daughter stayed in that cave and became Caucasians (still with Nubian blood in them). That was the worst mutation to happen to any person alive. Notice how the other cultures (Mxcan, Azn, Korean) are ALMOST as cruel and violent as the yt man. Those other cultures were mutated from Our Natural People (not albinos).

    “Both of them work together to keep the White supremacy and racism alive.”

    It seems that way, but the yt woman works under the general supervision of the yt man, at all times.


  181. Imhotep on said:


    I hear what You’re saying. No, “these other men of color” and “yt men” are not PBW because they do not allow The First Mother to have The Man Made For Her First Above ALL.

    You’re right, the rejection of Our Sistas from these sellout men of Our Race is the greater evil. The truth is that a lot of Our Men are flattered TOO MUCH by the fact that a woman from every race wants them. It is Our Job as Brothas to teach Our Younger Generations about The Very Beginning of Time. I wonder if some of Our Young Brothas (after being exposed to one show on tell-lie-vision) would care about Where All of Live Came From. I know of some Sistas (and viewers) who have shut their minds off for too long that they could care less about The Very Beginning. The tell-lie-vision is programming too many minds nowadays!


  182. Imhotep on said:


    “Most BM are fully aware that they are dating, procreating and marrying women who speak their hate for Black women to anyone with a willing ear.”


    These yt women hurt Sistas in other ways, not seen by the naked eye. Yt women are nurses, chiropractors, dentists, and businesswomen. Anytime You deal with them, the lice headed females are looking to “take your looks down a peg”.

    These “other women of color that aren’t white” just compete with you by “Trying to do You better than You do Yourself”. The “mutated albino daughter (yt woman)” does somethings to physically harm Your appearance in secret. This is one great big war that involves everybody. It just does not seem like a war is going on all of the time because of all of the inventions, in everyone’s life, that distract everybody from day to day. In these times, everything is being minimized. We could all be facing each other real soon.


  183. Imhotep on said:


    “In the early on in the 1990′s Bro Hemmitt said that in the next 20-30 years most of us will still be debating the same old issues, when the whiteman is steadily improving on his tactics on our behind.”

    Yes, the WM’s mind (after the mutation at the cave) is ALWAYS at work! He will NEVER believe that what he is doing is wrong, EVER! No one can tell him anything!

  184. cinnamonshorty on said:

    “He wants this scenario”. Why would WM want this scenario? Are you making the case that WM are using some WW as pawns?

  185. Tyrone on said:


    Very Sharp Sis, Very Sharp! I think while i type, which is a bad habit. As you stated, young blackwomen such as yourself have to deal with a “Racial Structure” that was put in place before you were born. For blackwomen to truly understand why the current generation of black males are jacked up as they are, they must be able to link “The Cube” that is White Supremacy, Illuminati, and so forth. As a group, blackwomen have not developed their own political and racial agenda that puts the interests of themselves front and center. Of course, there are orgs all around the country that exist, but they’re local-based for the most part. The main point that i wanna get across to you and other BW, is that, the enemies of our race see blackwomen as the greatest threat to their power and wealth on this planet. I can only speak for our race, but, african society and culture is Matriarchal. Always has been, and will continue into the future. It’s not about us as blackmen, please understand this Cinnamonshorty. Any BM that puts himself above you is on the wrong side of the issue. Our job as blackmen is to provide, protect, and maintain stability within the Fam…Bottomline! The powers that be don’t hate you, they want to control you. Other women hate on blackwomen, men have no reason to hate black females. Sistas assume that the hate that is pushed on them is male-driven, Not So! Whitewomen are a Proxy, meaning, their purpose is to seduce black males into chasing after them. Which opens the door for Casper to step in and push out BM. They have no shame in sacrificing their women if it will gain them greater access to black womanhood. Blackwomen are the only sane hueman beings on the planet…other women throw shade because women are catty like that, other men plot the demise of black males to get their arms around you…Surreal! The biggest problem that blackmen deal with, is, intra-racial and inter-racial relations via blackwomen and non-blackwomen. It’s easy for naive black males to get caught up. We live in a society that bombards BM with hypersexualized images of white females and other women to a lesser extent. As a youngbuck, the cats that i ran with were always yappin’ about poon, day in and day out. “Ty, that white girl got a fat p@#$%…blah blah blah. That mindset still exist today. Because we’re darker in color, athletically gifted, many black males feel that they’re entitled to sex whitewomen, asian women, etc. They don’t see any harm in their actions, Why? The baby is gonna be black anyway, which is a big leap. So, sistas have to navigate thru a maze of black machismo, hypersexuality, female envy, swirlness, and maintain their sanity at the same time. Blackmen who love our race, love blackwomen…Bottomline! Yes, other women of color are a better option than Becky, but the outcome is still the same. Me being with an Asian woman does nothing for blackwomen. No matter how black she may be in appearance, the math doesn’t add up. Blackwomen don’t want other men, they want us snuggled up next to them at night…Not Bob, Jose, Jackie Chan, etc. Other women are not pro-black, so, we end up with a bunch of Tiger Woods running around who hate blackwomen, Why? Other women are in love with blackmen, not black people. Only a blackwoman can teach a child to love black. I don’t support jumping in bed with other women, that phase of my life is dead and gone…RIP We won’t be lost forever Sis, Times Change!


  186. Imhotep on said:


    “As a group, blackwomen have not developed their own political and racial agenda that puts the interests of themselves front and center.”

    It is hard as Brothas to tell Our Sistas that THEY HAVE THE GREATEST SELF-LOVE OF ALL TIME! The only self-love that rivals Their self-love is the self-love a yt man has for” himself as a yt man”. Our Sistas have a greater self-love than that of the yt man. The yt man will drive himself crazy thinking about how to “perfectly execute everything as a yt man”. Our Sistas know that they are doing everything correctly even when they think of themselves as women first. The yt man always thinks of himself as a “yt man first and only”. He never mentions that he sees himself as a yt man all of the time. He can say stuff like “I’m (thinking of himself as a yt man) going to have some milk”.

    The yt man forces Us to see Ourselves as a race first. Some of Us like being people above all.

    Yes, I agree with You, Brotha. I will never, even when a yt woman tries to push herself on me (by kissing Me on the cheek in public), put any woman above the Blk Woman!!!!! I was made for The Blk Woman by The Blk Woman anyway anyone looks at it. The First Man (a Brotha) was made by Jah’s thought of a man and Her Self-Love together. No other man would be here if not for The Brotha and The Sista coming together. The Brotha is flattered as A First Man that women of other races see Him as The Basic Model For How A Man Should Look. Some of Us are lost past that point. No, We won’t be lost forever, because, at the end of the day, We are still Blk Men. A Blk Man is A Blk Man in the same way that all yt man have everything that makes them all yt men.

    It was great having this conversation with You, Brotha.


  187. Tyrone on said:


    It’s good to spit game with intelligent black people who know the real. Our sistas need to know that we love them and cherish them deeply. Media is not gonna keep it 100 with young sistas, which can be discouraging to them in ways that we as blackmen don’t see. The light skin/dark skin issue, hair hysteria, and so forth. At this time, i’m vexed about all of this ish. We have real problems to tackle as a race, blackwomen shouldn’t have to deal with the bulls@#t from lost blackmen who keep white supremacy on life support. Knowing the real is what will keep our women sane in a world that makes no sense…Real Talk! I’ve pretty much said everything i’ve wanted to say on this topic. Appreciate the back and forth blackman, you make your mother proud to have birthed you…Indeed!

    Fan of Brown Girls Since Birth

  188. Imhotep on said:


    Thank you for responding to most of my post. As Brothas, ONLY WE will LISTEN to EACH Other! The Afrikan Woman has THE GREATEST SELF-LOVE EVER! I believe (And have seen instances) where Our Sistas ONLY LISTEN TO THEMSELVES! It seems as if Our Sistas WILL NOT EVER listen to Us as Protectors! Ever! That is why Our Relationships fail and MIGHT ALWAYS fail! The BW is the ONLY PERSON SHE WILL LISTEN TO! Trust Me on this! THE BLACK MAN WAS MADE WHEN THE MOTHER OF ALL CIVILIZATION (OUR SISTAS) WANTED “PHYSICAL LOVE ONLY”. He WAS NOT MADE TO BE HER PROTECTOR, SADLY! Our Sistas BELIEVE that They can protect themselves! I did not mean that as a diss! I LOVE MY SISTAS! OUR SISTERS LIKE BEING ADORED BY MEN OF ALL RACES BECAUSE SHE INVENTED US (BROTHAS) AS MEN FIRST! I have tried to warn Sistas (thankfully, Adeen listens) of yt men! Many of them believe that yt men are “JUST JOKING” when the yt man PUTS A BROTHA DOWN BY HIS WORD. A YT MAN WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING POSITIVE TO SAY TO A BROTHA, EVER!!!!!!!!! The yt woman will NEVER have anything NICE TO SAY to A Sista! As Brothas, We will always try ( at least) to protect Our Sistas from ALL non-Blk Men! We are the only ones who know how it is! Yt men are having “open season” on Blk Men alone because they are aware that We could tell Our Sistas to stay away from them!

    I have had many bad dreams about being a protector to My Sistas ONLY! I have seen “non-Blk Men” and “Blk Men”(though it is natural for Us) stare at Our Sistas. When I tell My Sistas that ALL Men can be disrespectful, She does not listen!!!! We as Men HAVE to raise Our Daughters properly! Thankfully, A Daughter (not when She has grown up) will LISTEN to Us as Blk Men from birth! Our Daughters can care about Our struggle. A Grown Afrikan Woman (and I’m not saying this as a diss) BELIEVES She knows, ONLY, how to deal with what She believes is “yt supremacy”. As Brothas, We know that “yt supremacy is everywhere at everytime”. Our Sistas may not see it that way. Some of Our Sistas may like hearing that they are the Mothers of All Civilization, but they don’t care to hear about it any further than that. They will BELIEVE that it is only a COMPLIMENT and not the truth! Scary!

    I believe as Brothas, in ways, We are tragic heroes! Even if Our Sistas believe that We should not be out there fighting everyday for them, We know to do it, anyway! Unfortunately, We (as Brothas) will always have it harder than anyone else in this World! Firstly, We were made for intercourse alone! So, it is hard for Us. We see that We Were The First Ever Protectors! Because of the Afrikan Woman’s self-love, She will ALWAYS see herself as her own protector. This is not the case for yt women! They know they must always stay by the side of a male! The yt woman “has seen”what her people have done to others. So, yt women know they MUST stay by some man or always be around a man. That is why yt women do not like being single mothers, but a Blk Woman believes She can (though she can’t really) be a single mother.

    Ty, as Your Brotha, I understand (and if I don’t, I will try to) EVERYTHING you are talking about! We have it the HARDEST out of EVERYONE on Earth! Even before any slavery Our People faced, the BW always had a problem with the BM even THINKING he could tell Her what to do! As Brothas, We have to be there for Ourselves first!

    Stay Strong (We ALL need to be told that),


  189. I have been reading this thread–and resisting the urge to comment, but i find your analysis to be the most truthful…

    I think Black people who vehemently oppose IRR are the very same ones who secretly desire to be in one with namely a white person of the opposite sex themselves because most of the reasons they give for opposing it makes absolutely no damn sense. Black women who are sexually healthy recognize that non Black men are STILL men and vice versa. However, i will go on to say that the majority of Black women and men–when the circumstances are in their favor–will go with/date/marry/hook-up with someone Black (blackpeoplemeet.com and blacknerddating exists for a reason)

    What’s holding them back? They are afraid of being accused of being called a “traitor”, or not being down with the cause. It’s unrealistic to think that every single Black person on this planet will be with another Black person (but the majority of Black marriages will be between TWO Black people)

    My comments are not meant to offend anyone, but i had to learn the hard way…we spend way too much time discussing what a FEW Black people are doing–which won’t change it.

  190. I disagree. I am not trying to argue with you but many Black women have to protect themselves in AmeriKKKlan because Black men don’t protect or defend Black women against attacks from non Black men in the media. In fact, many Black men go along with people attacking Black women.

    This is a reality for Black women in this country. We have to defend ourselves because no one will. And that is my reality as a Black woman in AmeriKKKlan.

    And I am aware of White men’s ways. They only want to keep Black men down and sexually objectify and use Black women’s bodies. That is why I would never date a White man. White men are evil but White women are just as bad. White women are allies of their White men. They date Black men to sexually objectify Black men and promote White supremacy. They also led Black men to their deaths in the Jim Crow era by lying to their White men that Black men raped them.

    White women and non Black women are NOT your friends either just like White men are NOT our friends.

  191. You make a good point Adeen. And when you consider the fact that most white, Asian and Hispanic women do choose white men most of the time for mates over black men, that should ring a bell that black men are not as loved as we think. As Negress, said,we have no friends!

  192. @Imhotep
    Yes I forgot that Black men are powerless in AmeriKKKlan and don’t have the power or privileges to protect his woman or control his self image. Sorry for not looking at that as well because you are right BUT I do get mad at Black man for not protecting Black women like they should but then I realize you guys lack power in this racist country.

    P.S. Plus White women run the media now. White men who work aside White women who run the media are gay White men. It is the White female producers who put shows on TV that show bad stereotypes about Black men and Black women. White women are not your friends and they don’t care about Black people.

  193. @Imhotep

    As a Black woman, I know what non Black women say behind the backs of Black men. Most non Black women don’t like Black men and don’t want anything to do with them. I hear them say Black men are gross and stuff like that. Most non Black women settle for Black men if they can’t find men in their own race or culture to date or if they can’t find a White guy.

  194. @B.R.
    You are right. Honestly, interracial dating is about White people and Whites dating others outside of their race. It is not about us. Most non Black women don’t like Black men at all. Most non Black women prefer their own men and if they want to date outside of their race, they would date a White guy. So I am not surprised that they would answer to White men more than Black men.

    And personally, I would never date a White guy especially one from my area. Any non White person dating, sexing and marrying Whites is supporting White supremacy and the racism that runs rampant in the media and Hollyweird.

  195. Adeen, my Jamaican sista, you spoke the truth to the point where even a blind man could see. In my dealings with non-black females(white,Asian & Hispanic), they would say “my love is colorblind” or some other garbage like that when in truth outside of possibly a little fling, their desire for long term relationships/marriage/fathers for their children is either men of their own race or white men.

    Here in NYC, I have seen a couple brothas with non-black females, mostly white but also a Hispanic(Puerto Rican,etc.) or Asian lady, and yea they are pushing strollers and holding their half black kids. However, in terms of absolute numbers, I have to agree with Adeen, most of them lust after white men. So we do get love but since white men have power,money,fame and social standing, they get alot more! Nevertheless, we black men must continue our struggle

  196. cinnamonshorty on said:

    @B.R. you are one of the few BM I have heard speak like this. More often then not, my sister, girlfriends and I always hear BM say, how undesirable we are to all men and how they have options and BW do not. If I had a dollar for everytime phrases like these were said directly to our faces, we would all be billionaires like Oprah..lol!

  197. @cinnamon shorty

    -From my personal experience as well as from research, most non-black females usually want brothas “for the experience,wink wink”, very rarely they want us for marriage and to become fathers of their kids. Most white, Asian,Hispanic women do go for white men whether it be in online,speed or traditiional dating styles. This article is from 2009,even though it is 4 years old, it is still revelant-http://kinseyconfidential.org/race-ethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/


    Sorry if you miss understood my point. As black men, our focus should not be on which non-black females want us. Our focus should be on restoring our communities, respecting and honoring our black females and creating a culture of life in Black America because right now, Black America is under death(white supremacy)

  198. @cinnamon shorty


    However, a while back I went on Afroerotik and I read the post about white submissive men and it blew my mind to the 1,000 degree!

    So, the same powerful white man who wields his power against you and I and who from the research gets the white,Asian and Hispanic women dreams of black men’s private parts and desires to see his wife with a black man, wants to be a black woman’s toilet and secretly longs to be black on a hardcore degree. Forgive me guys for being naive and ignorant but as a 25 year old black man, I realize that I have ALOT more to learn about white supremacy!

  199. I’ve been skimming through the recent comments and I’m not sure what saddens me more. The letter I received or the comments. It’s threads like these that give me confirmation that I made the right decision to discontinue all posts on black relationships.

    I want to say a few things, then I’ll let this go:

    First off, The African is the most powerful entity on this planet. We are NOT powerless. The power you lack comes from your own self doubt. Evil preys on this and feeds on your self hatred. You can remedy this by doing the one thing I’ve been begging you to do from day damn one: Know Thyself.

    Second thing, The reason why we cannot come together as one race under God is because we are disorganized, easily distracted, foolish, stuck in our lower carnal selves and have NO desire to for change. We can change things tomorrow morning if we really wanted to…BUT WE DO NOT.

    Third and final thing, funny how ALL of my “do for self” and “support black causes” posts are largely ignored for gossip and redundant rhetoric, eh? Makes me wonder why we’re here.


  201. Gat Turner on said:

    B.R. is not alone. The thought of adwight woman putting her colorless hands on me is enough to induce nausea. If they were the only women left on the planet I would become a monk. Sisters Only for me!

  202. Pingback: Classy Women Offer to Pay for Dates Always | From Ashy to Classy


    “It is by love, that the Heavenly Father and the Earthly Mother and the Son of Man become one. For the spirit of the Son of Man was created from the spirit of the Heaven Father, and his body from the body of the Earthly Mother. Become, therefore, perfect as the spirit of your Heavenly Father and the body of your Earthly Mother are perfect. And so love your Heavenly Father, as he loves your spirit. And so love your Earthly Mother, as she loves your body. And so love your true brothers, as your Heavenly Father and your Earthly Mother love them. And then your Heavenly Father shall give you his holy spirit, and your Earthly Mother shall give you her holy body. And then shall the Sons of Men like true brothers give love one to another, the love which they received from their Heavenly Father and from their Earthly Mother; and they shall all become comforters one of another. And then shall disappear from the earth all evil and all sorrow, and there shall be love and joy upon earth. And th en shall the earth be like the heavens, and the kingdom of God shall come. And then shall come the Son of Man in all his glory, to inherit the kingdom of God. And then shall the Sons of Men divide their divine inheritance, the kingdom of God. For the Sons of Men live in the Heavenly Father and in the Earthly Mother, and the Heavenly Father and the Earthly Mother live in them. And then with the kingdom of God shall come the end of the times. For the Heavenly Father’s love gives to all life everlasting in the kingdom of God. For love is eternal. Love is stronger than death.

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