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diaryofanegress

Observations of an Invisible Woman

Black Hair and Asian Domination: A Strategy to Destroy Black Ownership

After I saw this video, my first reaction was anger. I know how they feel. Then after I calmed down and thought to myself how EVERY group targets us because we are determined to be eternal consumers, not providers, I sat back and realized that we have not one person to blame but ourselves.

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128 thoughts on “Black Hair and Asian Domination: A Strategy to Destroy Black Ownership

  1. We don’t need “beauty stores” (wig and weave stores) I only hope that along with ours not succeeding, we eventually let the Korean ones go dry and disappear as well. All we need is a hair pick, the hair god gave us, a pair of scissors and a mirror, that’s it – literally.

  2. Mystical on said:

    Hello, Truth

    Before, i go any further, i want it to be known that i am a male. I am using my empress’s email. As i am slowly withdrawing myself from these things, i have forgotten my own password. My empress has been growing her dreads for over a 1 year and half.They are about shoulder length, and she complains to me that wherever she goes, these ladies(weave hair) would giver her nasty looks, and she tries to ignore them, but it getting too prevalent now. She asked me what i think is the reason. Recently, she met another lady with the same issue. My question is, is it out of jealousy, or is out of self-hatred that these sistas are turning up their nose at my woman’s hair?

    I have similar problem myself, too; When i came to this country (Canada), i was revered by whites for my dark skin, and i must say by many blacks also they told me how attractive it is. Ever since this country gotten BET back in 1997, a lot has changed for the worse, sistas you feel who are educated and should know better don’t really act that way, for at times i will be walking on campus (university) and you see these weave hair sistas arms up with these white guys making out in public. These same sistas would turn their noses up at me whenever we would ran into each other on campus. I literally watched a black chick in weave hair, who despite her weave hair, i thought was extremely gorgeous, ignored the lecture and started to fluff her weave using her laptop screen, because a white guy asked her to hold the seat next to her, while he goes to the washroom to come back. After he left she went bizarre trying to use her computer screen prep herself to look attractive, mind you i was sitting in two seats above her so i saw what was going on and other people saw, too. I felt so embarrassed. After this incident she became close with the guy to the point where he was gesturing at a blowjob to her in the class, and instead of feeling insulted, she would giggle endlessly.

    I am really now distancing myself from black women with weaves, even though i know by doing so, i am shunning 90% of the black female population here in Canada, but it has gone on for far too long. I have now believe that the weave is here to stay and you will not separate a black woman from her weave. I keep hearing that we must control the industry, but what about not wearing weave all together? I yet to meet a black man, who is not simpleton, who likes weave hair, so who is the black women trying to attract or even impress?

  3. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

  4. Mystical

    I’ve been cursed out a LOT because of my strong views on black hair. Black women have written me angry letters calling me a “hater”, “jealous” and I have “no right to judge them ’cause they love themselves even though they NEED fake hair.”

    I been told that it’s not self-hate or a “desire to be white” why they MUST wear weaves and chemically straighten their hair. It’s simply:

    1. Management
    2. Ease
    3. An assessory, you know, like jewelry
    4. None of my damn business

    OK. Fine. To each his/her own.

    But…not to sound like a broken record, “If you do not understand racism/ white supremacy, everything else that you think you understand will only serve to confuse you.”

    I’m no longer confused as to why our hair is under constant 24/7 attack. I’m no longer confused as to why black men who cannot “see” like weaves and wigs. And I’m no longer confused as to why our chakras (crown) is being demonized.

    The hair that black women put on their heads come from:

    Animals
    Dead People

    It has an energy. And that energy is being absorbed into our pineal glands. And we wonder why we can’t shake this prison? Love your skin and your hair, my love. And ignore everyone else’s dirty, ignorant looks.

  5. Mystical on said:

    As i said before, these black men are simps. They were there loitering and playing “dice”. These men are “simps”. These men should not be the men that black women try to attract.

  6. Alchemist

    This video just makes me sad.

  7. Tyrone on said:

    Sistas

    The powers-that-be don’t have the courage to attack black manhood, instead, they seek to control and manipulate black womanhood for financial gain. Notice, blackmen are not attacked in the same way. Blackwomen are the source of strength in our race. Asians are no different than whites, non-blacks behave in like fashion. Again, blackmen need to let go of the straight hair bulls**t, it’s petty. Any blackman that fights with sistas over this issue is not a lover of Nubian women. Loving blackwomen requires 100% dedication. Yes, sistas have genetic diversity, and that’s a beautiful thing, but the hair dilemma needs to be off the table. My hair is curly, i’m black…WTF!

    Ty

  8. Mariama on said:

    I agree with you 1000%.

  9. Ty

    Another piece to this puzzle is a known fact. Our hair is the one element that makes us unique and stand out amongst ALL other races.

    Your hair, nappy, kinky, curly, is directly related to Africa. therefore it must be destroyed. Our noses and lips vary. Our skin varies. Even our eyes range from hazel to blue to dark green to black. But our hair makes us who we are and cannot be altered.

    That’s why it’s under attack. But, you know, I no longer blame Asians or whites for this madness regarding our hair. ALL we have to do to put them out of business is stop giving them our money.

  10. Mystical on said:

    By the way, Truth. Hopefully, this gets much comment as your interracial threads. Based on my understanding, in terms of commenting, the “weave hair threads” are usually the opposite of “interracial threads”. The black females will find reasons to avoid it the same way they will find reason the enter the interracial one. I am seriously confused. I used be on facebook until i got fed up and closed my account, because i see all these black females changing their display pics to that of their white male partners. Mind you, they have never done this when they were dating the black males. The simp black males are just as bad, because all their care about is the black women’s front and not where she takes her life; they will pretend as if they are defending her honor by encouraging her negative behaviour. However, as soon as they get her pregnant they will run away like animals.

    Black women need to understand the brothers who mean her well are the ones asking her to be herself a 100%, because we want to see her real qualities shine and not the where we can live out our fantasy of having a white woman’s look alike because we have difficulty getting the real one. I feel men who are ok with fakeness are like people who settle for knock-offs goods until they can afford the real goods. Maybe that is why we see as a brother or sister gets rich he or she will get a white person akin to getting the real versus the knock-off.

    This another reason why i respect you, Truth, you rarely find a black woman talking about anything with roots and culture. My woman always chill out with her girlfriends and since she is on her spiritual journey, she usually leaves half-way through their night out, because she would find herself annoyed that all they care to talk about is fashion, gossip and sex. They even formed a bbm group to discuss fashion, gossip and sex sent her an invite of which she rejected.

  11. emile on said:

    Observation #1: Instead of focusing upon the Black men and Black women who “don’t” like natural Black hair in public display, why not place emphasis upon those who “do”? We’ve forgotten that the people who patronize non-Black hair stores, products and services are victims, who’ve yet to fully comprehend all of the associated behavior patterns involving this topic, i.e. economical advantages to others, consumer exploitation, self-hatred, imposed social pressures, etc. Regardless of what’s popular and profiled within the so-called mainstream society, there are many, many Black people out here who have a preference for natural hair and are wearing their “crowns” accordingly. IMO it actually compliments one’s overall beauty, so quite naturally you should anticipate certain behavior from the uninformed.

    Observation #2: In reference to the above videos, I think that it is time that we stop being overly reactive to such obvious failures and become more proactive in providing alternatives and new business models in the future. Sure, it makes me angry too, but what is gained by restating the obvious, that such related Asian businesses and merchants have a grip on this market segment and ain’t letting it go anytime soon. Real talk: why should they? It’s profitable; their customers are loyal; and in spite of the things that are said about them by us, they continue to capitalize off of our vulnerabilities. The bigger question is, with a dose of humility, what are we learning from this? We state all the time about how “creative” we are but what amount of our creative and innovative forces could be applied to this challenge, “if” we care so much about it and are willing to compete with them? What assets could we use in influencing these victims and gullible consumers that it is in their best interests (health, economics) to care, wear and fashion their hair naturally? I do know one thing, and it’s been proven over and over and over and over again. Black people are trendsetters and set new precedents and breakthroughs in this particular area, especially in fashion and hair styling. I think if we’d concentrate our energy and frustration in a more constructive way, who knows what kind of healthier trends could be produced and become beneficial to this consumer market?…Just my thoughts…

  12. Mystical on said:

    Whatever is happening is on psychological level. How i plan to counter it has to be on that level also. That is, whenever i see black women with her natural hair, whether it is afro or dreads, i go out of my way to pay them a compliment. We need to acknowledge them and let them know that we are behind them a 100%. A small compliment will reinforced their belief that they have done the right thing.

    Every black woman looks better with her natural hair! I remember this one girl i used to date and one time in between weaves she rocked her natural hair and everyone told her, including me, that she looked better without it, she’s even admit to me she felt she looks better without it, but i can’t help herself. She said she always has to rock weave or wig. Then later on, i found out her mom didn’t like me because i was too dark and told her that she would be better with a whiteman. This girl went and picked up a white man who has two other different black baby mothers. She’s even told me that she is one who even approach him on the train because she thought he was cute. What i am trying to say is that you could be right and this might be a lost cause talking about those with weaves and wigs, and that we should rather focus on those with the natural hair. However, to be reformer of any movement is to focus on the the strays, because thats how the multitude will be saved.

    All reformers and reformist movements of history focus on the “lost sheep.” Another approach is that conscious sisters like those who post here should talk to these females, but the brothers are the last set of people these women are trying to listen to. I am doing my share of trying to talk to some lost brothers on street, at work, etc.

  13. Tyrone on said:

    @Negress

    I wish it was that easy, but, it’s not. Some black people are moving forward in their blackness, others are not. We’re not on the same wavelength, scattered is the obvious word. As you stated…Just Say No! Blackwomen are aware of the fact that external parties have pressured them to be unfaithful to their foremothers, yet, the same group of people want to be the first in line at a Bronner Bros. Hair Show in Atlanta and other cities. All the haters end up with egg on their face just the same. Blackness equals money in the minds of other races, which is why asian women got in the game. Yes, asian women provide the hair, but the same group of women hate on brown-skinned asian females because they’re dark and lovely…Thai, Indonesian, Cambodian, etc. Sistas, do you see the contradiction that is at hand? Brown asian women are bombarded with skin-bleaching creams to lighten or whiten themselves, yet, white and yellow asian women seek to fatten their pockets on the heads of african-american women. A strange world we live in, Indeed! Blackness is attacked everywhere, Africa included. Yes, we have freedom to not be slaves to anyone. Sistas, don’t wait on brothas to get right. Slavery messed us up in a major way, we got miles still to travel. Free sistas attract likeminded brothas and vice versa. My hair is beautiful, not nappy. Another word we need to rid ourselves of. My mom cornrowed my hair as a youngster, so, i fell in love with my spirals at an early age. I was web-surfing a few days ago, and Terrence Howard was whining about sistas not supporting his swirlish ways. His recent movie, (Dead Man Down), flopped at the box office. Sistas have the power, they need to use it to their advantage. Loving ourselves is not about kissing a$$, we need not bow to anyone…We’re Black!

    Ty

  14. Mystical

    I’ve been pretty vocal about where I stand on accepting accountability for our actions. We avoid harsh truths because they make us feel bad and point out the fact that we are flawed and too lazy and compliant to make a real change.

    Until we accept that we are in full control of ourselves, this insanity will never end. Whites and Asians can tempt us with fake hair, nails, eyelashes, 500.00 shoes and GMO foods. All we have to do to fight them is stop patronizing their businesses.

    But, there is an emotional bond that we have with the material. The material is the polar opposite of this Spiritual. That’s why some of us can “see” what’s happening and others cannot.

    When I decided to stop eating Chinese Food and giving these people my money, a light bulb went off over my head. My cable box, sodas and Dominoes Pizza came next. It was like a snowball effect!

    Whenever I post something that demands us as a group to take responsibility for ourselves, I do not get many responses. If I do get them, it’s short and worded carefully.

    Mystical, all we have is each other now. And we have 3 years to get ourselves together. That’s it. 3 short years.

  15. “Terrence Howard was whining about sistas not supporting his swirlish ways.”

    LOL!!!!!! Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

    Terrence Howard????? The man who marries snowflake after snowflake?

    Bwhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    Black Men and the Weave Weapon:

    The theory in the article linked below is:

    “Black men attacking Black women because they wear weaves has only become a weapon used when they’re pissed off at Black women and looking for a way to attack. It’s like a couple fighting and bringing up things in the other person that could be considered a flaw. Things each person lives with and doesn’t mind living with until they get pissed off, or feel attacked and need a way to insult the other”

    http://www.blackenergynews.com/2012/11/black-men-and-weave-weapon.html

  17. I agree with you! You nailed it!

  18. That’s a great website. I go there a lot. She has some really good posts.

  19. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    Dr. Corey D. Guyton has a guide on how a black male can be supportive when his wife goes natural:

    http://www.ybelove.com/nappy-land/natural-hair/

    Pro- Natural hair brotherhood: (they even have t-shirts)

    http://www.lovenaturalsistas.com/the-brothas.html

  20. honeytreebee on said:

    Hey y’all off studying, but just had to say soething real quick. I’ve noticed black men have a fetish for long straight hair. A lot of these men are ala terrance howard and what a BW support , but no a BW. Once I figured out it not me and that no matter what they don’t want me. It made things like hair and make up much simpler. I have mt african hair and it is a filter and filters out all of the B.S. and silliness. It also saves me money and time.

    It is sad though that I get more hair love from other than I do from BM. It also hurts knowing that I could get their attention by downing the hair of the WW. Then like was said earlier the minute I aster myself the WW hair would be used against me. As it is for control, their fetish, and says they really don’t want you anyway.

    This is why I will make my own or buy black owned only. Enough is enough. We sistas must love ourselves before other including BM will love us. That is why every time I see a sista with African hair I heap praise, love, and complements on her. I tell sistas they are beuatiful and look lovely cause by doing this it affirms what I want to see in the future.

    Self love is key. Before we can love other we must love self first.

  21. Crissjensen on said:

    Have any of you seen this video??

  22. Great post, Negress.

  23. blackgirlinberlin on said:

    Great post.

    I just use oils for my hair… I wear my hair natural, and its been a tough road here in Germany. Many of the black women here wear awful looking wigs and weaves. I even have white Germans asking me why do they not wear their hair natural. I think one reason is the sheer curiousity the Europeans have with our hair. Always wanting to touch it, and asking so many questions about it. I think most women just want to hide it away to avoid the scrutiny. However, many of the women directly from Africa are very brainwashed. I see these terribly unnatural styles, and if I know the woman, I always ask why do they not try to style their own hair. I get many responses like oh I cannot wear my hair like yours.. African girls do not do natural (bs) or oh you black Americans are so mixed up that is why your hair curls, but mine will not (more bs). I just recently eventually gave up. I have been wearing my hair in locs now for the past 4 months, and its been the most freeing experience.
    Black women who are insecure about their natural hair need to realize Europeans will always see us as different, so why not just be yourself? Who cares what they think or the questions they ask. You are not obligated to entertain any of it.
    Asians have a monopoly on the hair business down to the retail level, so there is no point in trying to compete. Like the other posters say, instead, we should encourage each other to wear what nature gave us. Each one teach one as the saying goes. I went natural after seeing my girlfriend for years with her hair, and my natural look has encouraged others as well.

  24. blackgirlinberlin

    I could not have said that better myself!

  25. I notice at the asian owned businesses they have attitude and speak in their language about people.My mom used to shop at an asian beauty supply,until she found out the products were expired.I never liked going in their stores because they always look at you like you are going to steal.As for the black men that don’t appreciate our natural hair let them go.Focus on the ones that do,because the ones that don’t have self hate.The brothas that do love black women with natural hair i noticed are fine and educated.Another thing i noticed is how some black men will say they don’t like black women with weave yet they go with white women who have extensions smh.They need to admit they just don’t like black women period regardless of what we do to our hair.
    I also see how they attack black women then uplift black men,they do this because they know some black men will be like they not talking about me so i don’t care. They continue the divide and conquer and the way they do it is to uplift one group over the other because they know most of the time the group they deem superior will not reach out to the lesser group.They know a lot of people look out for themselves,until we unite this will continue to happen.I’m sure everyone can remeber a time when they had to look after their siblings and if one got in trouble you all did and if one got picked on you all stood together against that person.That is what we need to get back to.Unfortunately it seems like when black women are attacked there is no protest or marching.The moment black men get attacked its marching and protesting.The same way the nba and nfl have lockouts we need to ban together and have a lockout when it comes to this stuff.

  26. mstoogood4yall on said:

    amen.

    Whites and others will not accept us.As with wealth it is with our hair too.Even if you have money and live in a nice neighborhood and drive an expensive car you are still a ni@@r to them.No matter what we do to our hair relax,weave,wig we are still a ni@@r to them.Its time we embrace ourselves,and for goodness sakes the ones that can’t, at least support the black beauty supply stores that sell the weave,wigs,etc

  27. Mystical on said:

    Read the article and disagree with most of it. My reason is that many black men feel helpless towards telling black women what to do, so rather than doing without a woman, they settled. Meaning many black men are simps/coons or allowing themselves to be overpowered by minstrels for the sake of getting sex. We need to be more men, the same way the women are allowed to tell us what she wants in a relationship we should be able to put our foot down as well. This article is tricky in that when men are ask if they like weave, it doesn’t mean that he finds the woman less attractive. Attractiveness and wearing weaves aren’t mutually exclusive. Take also into consideration how much brainwashing has been happening into promoting one preferences over the other. The same way white women are promoted over other races to brainwashing the masses into thinking they are more beautiful is the same way that weave hair is being promoted amongst black to think it made blacks more beautiful.

    A woman in a weaves still can be aesthetically more beautiful than one with her natural hair, but the sum of all the qualities, meaning those inside and out, will more than less puts the natural woman on top. Observe, it is usually the natural sisters who care about their roots and culture, while the weave hair is trying to distance herself from her roots as much as possible. Without roots, one is nothing more like a leaf in the wind drifting to and fro. Also, yes! Some men, again, simps, who are carrying vagina (pumpum) feeling as we call it in Jamaica, will use the weave as a weapon, but it doesn’t mean they are lying in terms of what they say about the weave, it is that they may use it in a retaliatory manner, rather than say it constructively. Conscious black men and women are in minority. When people nowadays generalized black men and women, remember they are referring to the coons and minstrels. I stopped trusting coons and minstrels a while back. With that said, what i am asking is for us to please stay away from statistics to draw conclusion on the deeply trouble topic such as this one. Statistics doesn’t tell the full story, so instead rely on your own senses. Within the black community, please understand that weave hair is seen as the norm, a natural woman is an exception and rarity.

    Another point, i am trying to make is to see who are writing these articles defending wearing weave; as Truth mention earlier, there are ton of excuses these women are coming up with in order to justify wearing the weaves, and it serves those of us who are trying to change this ideology to avoid listening to people who have a vested interest in watching the psychological destruction of blacks. Whether it is another race or someone within our own race, seeking validation and approval from other races.

  28. mstoogood4yall on said:

    aw they are soo beautiful together.I am going to go natural,but i’ve never had the issue of not swimming or working out because of my relaxed hair.I don’t understand the women that say they don’t swim or sweat because of their hair.That is ridiculous to me health is more important than hair.Its a shame we are trained to cover up our hair at all costs and neglect our overall health.A lot of us are brainwashed to have good hair even if its at the expense of not having a good workout and preventing heart disease.Unfortunately with us black women we are told we are not femine so our hair it seems is our last connection to feminity.then black men are conditioned to go after long straight haired women.In other cultures women cut their hair out of respect and humbling themselves.They know hair doesn’t make them a woman and not having it doesn’t make them any less femine.Whereas with us its like we are conditioned to believe our hair is our feminity.When they are really 2 different things,until more understand that they will continue to be lost.

  29. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I’ll add this and i’m done. We as black women are told we are not beautiful,we are masculine,and not good mothers.A woman takes care of her man,her kids,and is nurturing and sweet.These are the things that define a woman.By them taking that away they are destroying our sense of womanhood.So then we think our hair is what defines our beauty and our feminity.When they attack our natural hair they are trying to destroy that last bit of beauty and feminity we have about ourselves.More of us need to look at our hair as something that should be taken care of not covered up.And we need to look at ourselves as women and not let the length or texture of our hair determine how feminine we are. Nobody can change the fact that we are women,no matter how hard they try to discredit us.They can’t take away our melanin or our x chromosomes.
    We need more mothers to not relax their daughters hair at young ages,let them be a kid.When/if i have a daughter i will not put anything in her hair.If she decides she wants something in her hair when she’s older that is her decision.Its easier to go from natural to relaxed than from relaxed to natural.Cutting off hair is hard for any woman to go through.I wish my mom and aunt would’ve left my hair the hell alone.WE also need to stop saying negative things about natural hair.I heard my aunt say i have the kind of hair that needs something in it.That bullsheit has got to stop.Sometimes i get so mad because most of this stuff we do to ourselves,its because we are sick.

  30. G Wiz. I can agree and yet, I myself have changed my position on the weave. I only see it as an extension of the general mediocrity that is blackness.

  31. Umoja on said:

    Is it me, but does it seem that there is a higher percentage of Black women
    “waking up” than there are Black men?….and why is that?

  32. honeytreebee on said:

    Black men are in prison, killed, sent off to war, Those that aren’t might make it to school, but have a hard life even if, they have money. Why the system we live in wants them dead and or destroying black life. BW have it bad, but i think BM may have it worse.

    It takes a lot for a BM to wake-up. If they can’t cut him down the stroke his ego and get him to be with anything, but a BW. It is to the point that BM don’t need programing not to like BW. The abuse that we share collectively has made it so that ther are fewer BM avalible and those that are the numbers are getting even smaller that he will see the beauty in his sistas and want to be with one. If, I had a dollar for every time I heard any woman, but a BW I’d be rich.

    No the black man is not to blame and neither is the black woman. we have been set upon by an evil system. We know this and we are still being ripped apart. However, we now have the chance to free ourselves. It starts with self acceptance and self love. Anytime you change yourself to be more like someone else you are always a day late and a dollar short.

    We need to be our true selves and stop the store buying maddness. Let’s put them and this system out of business by not buying our own distruction and loving self most and first. That is our biggest lesson learn to love self best and first. Until we do this indiviudally, then collectively we will keep having these problems and struggles. Sista Truth you are right we need to get a move on 3 years and counting the clock is ticking.

  33. honeytreebee on said:

    Tyrone
    Yes you are so right…

  34. Nice vid. Some people just love to be ignorant. They lose twice. How can blond hair look better on her than her locks?! And, is ‘yak’ not an animal? Lol.

  35. Wow! That documentary was epic, and it just really blew my mind how of those places that he filmed at were either places that I have quite literally either visited-or some of my old stomping grounds from back in the day! And I mean, practically all of them; from Chi-town, Richmond, Oakland (filmed right where I used to get my lunch with my girlfriends on the weekend), to Pittsburgh, etc, this movie was totally on point about those issues existing between the Black hair vs Korean community topic. On a side note, it my belief that while the wigs/weaves are detrimental (on a lot of levels to POC), I still believe that it would be a great benefit for Black people-just like everyone else, to be able to have their own beauty supply stores (even without those controversial hair extensions)…

  36. ..Also, I can vouch for the wonderful filmmaker’s accounts on this video-having been to most of these places personally Mr. Ranen did a very precise and accurate take on this issue!

  37. verbs2012 on said:

    The fact of the matter is that most black women are suffering from mental illness conditions and the weave wearing is simply an extension of this unstable mentally ill and sick mind. This business of putting somebody else’s hair on your head is sick enough, but this also has to be coupled with the fact that these weaves(which are really wigs) look nothing like the black women’s original hair to begin with, the weave is a completely different genetic makeup of hair(normally from European or Indian stock). As if this is not bad enough, those black women wearing these contraptions will then go on to interact with and play with the hair as if it is their own, this is complete and utter madness, stupidity and foolishness at its height rolled into one.

    If a white man were to put a Afro wig on his head, walk down the street and interact with this wig as if the hair actually belonged to himself, people would immediately point at him, laugh at him and call him out for his madness and stupidity, yet black women put on hair that belongs to somebody else and they now believe that this behaviour is normal. Black women with weaves have simply become the jesters of the court and the laughingstocks among all the other nations.

    Of course, the modern day black woman in general hates herself, has absolutely no self confidence and has been persuaded by her new lord, saviour and master the white man that the more that she can distance herself from her original look, the better chance of acceptance she will have, yet he still fails to tell her that he accepts her after she performs more and more outlandish and foolish behaviour. Black women have been destroyed by this same fellow who encouraged them to depart from their black men. As a result the black woman in 2013 has become the very last choice for a mate when it comes to men from all nationalities look for a women to marry.

    Most black women are complete goners and will continue to obey the insane instructions of adjustment that the white man gives out that lead them down the road of degradation even further, the black women with their heads screwed on are in a very small minority. At the present path of trajectory the majority black women will end of the scrap heap of rejection, a nation of women bald headed, repugnant, repulsive, an eye sore, completely mad, full of disease and women no longer wanted by any man of any nationality.

    You wise sisters who see what is taking place had better start separating yourselves from the majority of the dysfunctional wild beast reprobate trash that is the majority of black women today, and pull out those who are looking for truth and who have the seed of redemption from the outside the circle.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad new but it isn’t like we cannot see where all of this is going if we think the current scenario through to its fullest extent(which is exactly where it is going). Not talking about it and giving black women a pass on outlandish, reprobate and foolish behaviour such as wearing glorified wigs has not improved their current position, not holding them accountable for their actions of stupidity has only accelerated their downhill spiral into oblivion.

    By finally holding black women accountable, we can save a few. Do not expect a mass revival of salvation to take place, small pockets of individual black women will make changes within their own lives, we should gravitate towards these individuals, encourage and support them.

  38. @ Verbs-well said! You made some really valid points about the concept of women’s hair (Black in particular), and I believe that people of all ethnicities are starting to view this issue in of weave-wearing in the same fashion as you do. I would like to add however, that from what I have witnessed between interactions from people that I have known throughout the years, that though “white men” have (rightfully) been credited for the concept of the self-hair-hate, I would be remiss if I didn’t honestly tell you that many of my black girlfriends have actually been told/scolded by Black men and Women more than anybody else about the importance of wearing a perm, weave, etc. (especially perms)-a fact that is sad, but ultimately proven to be true time and time again..

  39. Pete

    You noticed that too!

  40. Verbs

    Once again I agree. I get chewed out A LOT about this touchy subject. You know, we have 1 trillion dollars in spending money yet we own nothing.

    Tell me, whose fault is that?

  41. Gat Turner on said:

    I would like to propose the following….instead of using the terms “Black Man” and “black Woman” to describe disillusioned kinfolk. I will henceforth refer to them as “Westernized Negro Females/Males” or “Afropean American male/female” or “anglo Africans”. The point is that sometimes these threads go sideways when people take offense to things like “black women are brainwashed” or Black men hate black women. When I think of Black women I think of sisters like Marimba Ani and Dr. Welsing, they are in my mind Black Women. Not to be put in the same sentence with Westernized Negro Females. Black men like Malcolm X should not share a title with men who chase after Yurugu’s daughters.

    When I want to throw darts at those ignorant low vibrations females I dont want any of the beautiful and intelligent sisters that post here to get hit in the crossfire of my wording. We have to reclaim the titles of Black Man and Black Woman most of these young’ins havent yet earned that title. Let the words Black man and Black woman really mean something!

    my 2 cents

  42. Gat

    Well said! And I concur.

  43. Mickey on said:

    How about “Euro-Blacks” or “Negropeans”?

  44. Since I believe black woman are the closet to the image of god this is truly an evil agenda

  45. Lol. I wonder how they will look back when they are old. “Oh, look here grandchild, this is the picture where I wear the hair of a Russian prisoner who got 1 dollar for it. And, here is the pic where I wear the hair of a pariah, who had to cut off her hair because of lice. And, this is my favorite one! Here I wear the hear of a… yak. But, I told everyone that it was Brazilian.”
    I just had to DDG it: “The yak (Bos grunniens and Bos mutus) is a long-haired bovine found throughout the Himalayan region of south Central Asia, the Tibetan Plateau and as far north as Mongolia and Russia.”
    If those women were not my Black sisters I would laugh out loud. Instead, I better focus on an article on their mass incarceration. No weaves in prison.

  46. verbs2012 on said:

    Whoever needs to be grilled must be grilled Negress. Distributing the blame can only work for so long, eventually we have to look at ourselves and at least begin to take some of the responsibility for our current position in society.

  47. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. Verbs:

    OK!! That’s it! You have been eavesdropping on my conversations!

  49. KUDOS!! You summed it up. If I find a nut, I’ma crack it…so why blame people who are just following the worldwide proven business model: use black people to get RICH..and your other point is also spot on: what’s ‘hot’ in the hood today, will be what’s ‘trending’ on madison ave and by extension, Main street tomorrow…the problem is that WE need to profit off of all 3..we still stuck in the plantation mode of thinking…

  50. verbs2012 on said:

    Lol.

  51. Mariama on said:

    This is the best thing ever said!! But why is it soooo hard for our folks to grasp? It makes perfect sense! Thank you!

  52. Mariama

    Because we’ve been mentally raped for 500 years and counting. That’s hard to undo. And the ones who can “see” past the bullshit are silenced, cut down or ignored.

  53. @Emile, well said.

  54. darqbeauty on said:

    *thunderous applause*
    Well said. Often “conscious” sisters are the ones hit in the crossfire of this kind of speak. There needs to be a delineation made, most definitely. That “All Black women” stuff needs to change. The ones who embody NONE of those negative characteristics get lumped in with those who do. When we get righteously indignant, we are told, “Oh well, that doesn’t apply to you,so why are you angry?” when the ambiguous language makes delineation difficult.
    We never hear about the sister doing well. Just those falling for the Kool-Aid flavored okey-doke.
    Since we seem to be in such a small minority, it sure would be nice to hear someone singing the praises of such a rare bird. But no, instead we are subjected to the same harsh speak as our sisters with no distinctions being made. It’s very disheartening.

  55. Actually it’s not a “small” minority of Sisters who are embracing themselves,

    in fact, last year relaxer sales plummeted by 40%.

    Also see,
    http://honourablesaka.blogspot.com/2012/08/natural-hair.html

    Black women going natural is a Global movement, just recently the president of South Africa spoke in support of the Black women their going natural. Besides that, there are tons of Youtube videos created by Black women to instruct other Black women about caring for and styling their highly textured, long and natural tressess–and let’s not forget the natural hair blogs popping up almost every month and Black hair care lines now expanding their consumer base with natural hair products…

    But from some of the comments you would never know this!

    Natural hair is the way of the future for Black women and the Black world. Those who want to keep pretending that somehow Black women will be a nation of women left behind are sadly mistaken….

  56. darqbeauty on said:

    I also wanted to point out that Black men have a great deal of opinion on Black female hair, however, it is easy to point the finger and ridicule when you are in the habit of having your locks cut low so that your own texture is hidden under lack of length. The brothers that DO have afro-centric hairstyles like locs and cornrows are demonized. So why do they think Black female hair will be treated any differently under that same yoke. Instead of shaving their hair off to look “presentable”, they wear weaves. Same coin, different side.
    I try to engage in positive reinforcement. If I see a lone girl in a group of girls with weaves, I will compliment the natural girl on her hair. So many of us are sick. Those of us awake alternate between judging the sleepers for not waking up and desperately hoping that they come out of slumber.
    I’m sick of the finger pointing. Yeshua, please hurry and come back, because there isn’t an end in site. Like a strong swimmer being taken down by a drowning person, so are conscious Black women in relation to our slumbering sisters.

  57. Darq

    How poetic! And very beautiful.

  58. darqbeauty on said:

    *blush* Aww, thanks Sis!

  59. Your comment oozes hatred for Black women. Sorry, I’m just going to call it how I see it. I don’t even GET how you can liken a woman who suffers from years and years of social conditioning, to a devil – and choose to forget that part of the reason as to why Black women who wear weaves (abhor their natural hair) wear weaves, because of the validation they seek from conditioned, mind-messed Black men/males who are very open about how they prefer long, straight hair to kinky hair.
    I’m not trying to make excuses for these types of Black women but you have a very one-sided, bias and hateful perception of what this is. Both Black men and women need to be held accountable (CORRECTION)..because weave wearing black women aren’t getting lace-fronts and sew-ins because they woke up one day and decided: ‘oooh, I’m going to hate my naps today and glue some dead, Indian hair onto my scalp!’. Do you think that self-hatred – or the sensation at least, is a pleasant, freeing one? Do you not wonder if these women actually hurt, in the privacy of their own spaces…? Or when they look into the mirror? Do you believe that Black women actually enjoy feeling the way they do about themselves?
    Most don’t even KNOW why they feel the way they do. It is a cycle that has spanned hundreds of years and it has been passed down and perpetuated by MEN, as well as women.
    Perhaps you should sit down and think about that, before you condemn and point fingers. One way or the other, we all help promote and fuel this state of Pink Supremacy – blindly and intentionally. It is called, living in their system – buying food from their groceries, going to their schools, their hospitals, dentists, buying clothes/shoes from THEM etc. Can you honestly tell me Mr. ‘Holier Than Thou/Black Power’, that you are completely independent of this system? That you don’t contribute to it by ways of which I described just now? Because I’m pretty sure that you EVEN, aren’t exempt from judgement or self improvement. No one is perfect.

  60. Trying to educate the Black woman about herself is one thing – but demeaning her and likening MOST to something worse than an animal – deserving of agony and hell – because of an illness that she cannot shake, is another. And the women cosigning his bias, anti-Black woman infested essay? Wow.

  61. P.S, A Black woman’s worth shouldn’t based on how she wears her hair. I know many enlightened, wonderful women who wear weaves. I have also come across natural women who are spiteful, rude…and da da, who date Caucasian males. One lady comes to mind. Beautiful, BIG natural hair…takes good care of herself but doesn’t find Black men at all attractive. She dates Caucasian males exclusively and finds them ‘sexy’ and ‘physically attractive’. We have all come across Black males who sport locks and other natural hair styles, who have Caucasian/non-Black females as partners also. But then I guess, natural Black men and women are exempt from self hatred, right?
    I’m natural btw and have never worn a weave, just in case anyone tries to jump to conclusions. I was also picked on by fellow Black girls in school for having natural hair. And I’m Nigerian, so it’s genetically coarse – thus, the teasing and the snide remarks.
    It’s just my opinion, flicking through the comments, that you all have this very religious view, in terms of how a self-loving Black women should look or how a Black woman SHOULD look generally – but it is NOT that simple.
    A lot of you are forgetting that you cannot immediately correlate natural hair with self-love, anti-White Supremacy and the complete liberation for melanited people world wide- just how like you cannot correlate weaved hair with the contrary. If I’ve just given TWO examples WHY.
    This thinking, is dangerous. Then again, I’m not here to tell you how to think. Do what you want.
    Lastly, I in no way shape or form, support Black women going to Asian hair-stores.

  62. mschoco

    I understand and respect your feelings and anger. Verbs is outspoken about the blacks in our community who do not wish to be held accountable nor wish to try and “see” their imprisonment.

    His words, albeit harsh, do ring true for certain people our community, BOTH males and females, who continuously hold us down. The first step towards healing is admitting that you are sick. Many of us do not have the strength or ability to even recognize sickness. I truly do feel bad but don’t know where to begin to help them.

    My hair and interracial topics are very touchy and bring out bad feelings for everyone, myself included, but what do we do? Never speak of it and pretend it doesn’t exist?

    Remember my “Black woman” / “Black Men” posts? I sat and wondered why both male and female readers commented on the female post but were eerily quiet when it came time for the black male to accept responsibility.

    My reasoning that many will disagree with:

    The black woman is our last hope for salvation. Her strength is what will uplift our people and everyone is waiting for her to become “enlightened.” That’s why she is constantly under attack, punished, degraded, criticized and expected to “do better”.

    My 2 cents.

  63. Mschoco

    I just got finished talking last night about how those of us that exude Africanness, wear dashiki’s, locks, etc…can be some of the most hateful people in our race. Yes, you are correct.

  64. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @mzchocosensualhedbob

    The obsession with ranting about BW that wear hair weaves has degenerated into a mere rhetorical tool to attack BW. If you have a weave you will be attacked. If you do not and wear a natural style you will also be attacked. A BW will be attacked for her hair no matter what she does to it. We are both socially conditioned to value everything associated with whiteness. Some critics are coming from a good place but most of the men use hair as a way to shame BW. These misogynoirs see an opportunity to pour salt in a wound and pounce on it. The language used by two of the men on this thread comes straight from the black male anti-BW You Tube attack squad: evil BW she-apes are worthless, crazy, filled with self hatred, want to be white women, are in league with white men to castrate BM, dysfunctional hood rat b*tches that should ALL shoot themselves in the head, etc. Likening low income BW to “rats” dehumanizes them and marginalizes an already marginalized group of women. Hitler’s propaganda minister did the same thing to Jews. All of Germany’s problems was blamed on Jews; all of black people’s problems are blamed on BW. Many in the black conscious community are starting to sound just like the new movement to EXTERMINATE low income female “hoodrats”, called “die hoodrat die”. The BW haters have appropriated the language of the black conscious movement and cloak themselves in righteousness to mask misogynoirism.

    From the DIE HOODRAT DIE movement: (TRIGGER WARNING-RACISM AND MISOGYNOIRISM)

    “Black women have proven themselves to be the most self hating group of women on the face of this earth.Black women should understand that they are only making the Chinese richer by buying their horse hair or hair from some girl from Brazil.Dumb fucks!!!
    Most black women are desperately in need of psychological help.
    Black women have proven themselves to be the most self hating group of women on the face of this earth.Black women should understand that they are only making the Chinese richer by buying their horse hair or hair from some girl from Brazil.Dumb fucks!!!!!
    Many of you dumb black whores might believe that i hate all black women,but that’s not true.There’s a big difference between black self hating nasty weave wearing whores like you and black women who have a positive outlook on life.Most of you dumb weave wearing whores are only on a direct path of self destruction and you are also taking some of these bastard pussy hounding niggaz with you.My duty …is to ensure that you don’t destroy the lives of progressive black men and black women who have intentions of being good wives and eventually good mothers.You dumb nigga bitches are only non progressive elements in Jamaica’s society who will hide criminals and obstruct justice and spoil the reputations of positive Jamaican black women.My duty is to separate you dumb black whores from positive black women,so that positive black women can reclaim their crowns as queens of the earth.There is no need for me to degrade dumb black bitches because dumb black weave wearing whores are already degrading themselves.You black bitches will continue to be the least desirable out of all the different races of women.You dumb nasty weave wearing whores!!!!!!!..I have attached a photo of what a black queen should look like.You dumb whores!!!!!!”

    Notice the heavy focus on weaves and making Asians rich. I’ve had locs for 18 years and have never openly criticized a weave wearer or chemical “head” because I don’t know how much another BW has been ridiculed, mocked and demeaned in childhood for her hair, skin tone, and facial features. I don’t know how much race/gender based trauma she has had to endure. Compassion is wise when dealing with a victim of racism.

    http://www.haterazzi.com

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Die-Hoodrat-Die/433847013362984

  65. ‘Remember my “Black woman” / “Black Men” posts? I sat and wondered why both male and female readers commented on the female post but were eerily quiet when it came time for the black male to accept responsibility.’

    But that’s just it. We, both Black women and men, are equally at fault for what is going on today yet Black women are made to feel like they are wholly responsible, are dehumanized because of it and feel like they have to owe up to everything while the men sit silent and ‘all mighty’. The only reason I replied to his comment, is because I feel that Black males are consistently exempt from judgement. Black women are so afraid, for some strange reason – and unwilling, to tell Black men HOW they feel about that or to confront them with the truth. It is no wonder that men like him, can come here acting like they have no flaws of their own. Like they, in some other way or form, don’t contribute to this mess. It pisses me off. BLACK WOMEN as a whole – like he stated (he didn’t feel he had to make any distinctions by the way) shouldn’t have to be devalued, berated and written off because of the actions of – a specific percentage. What I found both amusing and unsettling was him linking the generalized and portrayed appearances of the Black women to WHY ‘no men of any nationality wants to date them’. Yet, people are surprised or frustrated by the fact that many Black women seek validation from men of all races and do the things that they DO, through seeking validation. Why wouldn’t they when they are made to believe or feel that they have to dress/look a certain way according to what men find approving. That their looks are based off of how the opposite sex see and judge them. What kind of psychological, misogynist bullshit is that?
    How are Black women supposed to rise UP and take back the position they fell from when they uphold these disheartening views? Views invented by CAUCASIAN MALES.

    Don’t get me wrong, I stay away from self hating people. As soon as I identify that person as a ‘sick in the head’ being, I run because they have the potential to be very dangerous to me and to people I love. But I fail to see, how a woman who wears a weave, compared to Blacks who kill other Blacks, who openly demean other Blacks and who sell Black children drugs, are deserving of this level of dehumanization. Yes, she hates her hair – and this is worth being discussed. But the abuse? Nah, you can miss me with that. And I wonder, smiling to myself here…what he would have to say about Black males who are killing other Black males in the street. Or Black males who are selling drugs to school children and vulnerable, single mothers. If his essay would hold the same vigour and PASSION. Oh but then I forgot, Black women wearing weaves – much worse. How dare they? Evil bitches. Look how they’re destroying the community. They should be lined up and executed.

  66. mschoco

    I feel you, sis.

    I really do understand and AGREE with your comments..and to a certain extent, everyone that has commented on black hair and what is really signifies is spot on.

    Until ALL of us claim responsibility for our shortcomings, we will never get outta this mess. Black men who bash black women are really bashing themselves. And vice versa. We come from each other and are in the same position: Being the most hated race on earth.

    We are sick. I’ve said that a thousand times.

    Why is it that you’ll find such animus toward the black female? My estimation is simply this:

    We are literally the universe. We are literally LIFE. When black males cannot look inside themselves and say, “It begins with me”, they deflect and point fingers at us! But, to be fair, we do that exact same thing to them.

    Until we decide to stop 500 years of blame and shame, we’re not going to make it. This anger that we have for another another didn’t appear out of nowhere. It happened when we were made to be unaccountable for each other. It happened out of self-loathing for oneself and manifested itself into our daily lives.

    What you are reading is simple Projection.

  67. AMEN! Your comment gave me so much life. Thank YOU. Seriously… because I couldn’t have put it in better words. Everything you wrote, had me nodding my head vigorously. Nothing but the pure, raw truth.
    The instant I read his comment, I knew that he was one of those anti-BW individuals from YouTube and that he has been indoctrinated with so much of that bullshit. He actually sounds like one of Tommy Sotomayer’s stans, if not Tommy himself because he was basically regurgitating EVERYTHING I’ve heard that Black devil and those Black devils on YouTube, spew about Black women.

    ‘The BW haters have appropriated the language of the black conscious movement and cloak themselves in righteousness to mask misogynoirism.’
    Exactly! They do try to mask that which is their hatred and resentment for Black women behind this pretentious, ‘Pro Black’ facade. What I find interesting, is how they they make this distinction between ‘natural’ Black women and ‘unnatural’ Black women (by upholding the natural Black women and correlating ‘natural hair’ with – ‘she is worth being praised’) AS IF to win round the natural Black women so that they can use them to berate and demean the Black women who wear weaves. And the natural Black women fall for this, thinking that these men are Pro-Black/have their best interests at heart, thus – women with weave being picked on by both sides. Some of the women who co-signed with his statement, think that Black women who wear weave are deserving of such treatment. They must do, because they overlooked every malicious and snide remark that individual made – e.g, playing the ‘no wonder no man will want you’ mental game. These men are pure scum, pure evil and are NOT for the betterment of Black people. I don’t care. I’m saying it because this is how I feel. How can you be for the betterment of your own women when your intention is to control her and how she feels about herself?

    Thanks for the link also. Everything that you’ve provided, however painful to have to read, is very significant. Because this is serious. Black women deserving of death, of exclusion, of abuse and of torture – because they’re not wearing their hair in a style that YOU, see fit? What is this about, really? And as far as the compassion thing, you’re right. If they did really care about Black women and want nothing but for Black women to love themselves then why are they so quick to demean her? What happened to listening to her, to understanding that of her pain and trying to EASE it? To being patient? Because usually, when someone I love is doing something that I feel is degrading or hurtful to themselves, I try offer them nothing but my support and my understanding. If that is not enough or if it doesn’t help – or if it’s a waste of my time, I leave them alone. What I don’t do, is abuse and belittle them.

    I too, don’t criticize women who wear weaves or relax their hair. I know, like you – like the majority of the women who posted, what it is like to be criticized or judged for the way I wear my hair and for being a Black female so why would I be a hypocrite and inflict the same kind of humiliation and pain on another Black woman? I guess it’s easy to pass judgement when you are either benefiting from this patriarchal society or when you are everything that the male misogynist wants in a woman.

  68. i agree. Its one thing to try to enlighten someone with constructive criticism its another thing to degrade them and bully them into doing what they want.That person was wrong.If someone is doing something I don’t agree with i pull them to the side and tell them in a nice way.If they don’t listen or get upset then people should leave them alone.Hell even jesus told his disciples to tell people things then if they didn’t believe them to shake the dust off their feet and move on.It’s like people nowadays want to shame people into doing things.Kinda reminds me how some people tease a fat person hoping they will lose weight when really it has the opposite effect.By bullying the people with weave and relaxers it will make them want to do it even more. We are all sick to some degree some more than others.If someone is sicker than me and wants to get better i will try to help them,not put them down even more.How can someone get someone else to see the light when they are blocking it with all their negativity.
    I’ve learned that you never know what someone is going through.I see comedians that are so funny yet their issues and family issues are no laughing matter.I’ve seen over weight people who have had childhood trauma and use food to cope.Some of the ladies with weave or relaxer have had someone tell them their hair isn’t good enough or is nappy.At the same time people need to be strong to break the curse/cycle. It is hard, I’m working on losing weight and going natural.I had a relative say i need something in my hair because of my coarse hair texture,my family is in the south so they eat unhealthy foods so I have to be strong to resist this to be a healthier,happier,and better person.
    In the end all we can do is be the shining light for our lost brothers and sisters and hope they get it and be there when they do.If not,well we can’t save everybody.

  69. @ Diary of a Negress,
    Black women aren’t making YouTube videos that focus on the complete dehumanization of Black men – via, attacking the way in which he chooses to wear his hair or dress, comparing him to non Black men and using made up statistics that support ‘why Black men are undesirable’. Give me a Black female version of Tommy Sotomayer who is making money and gaining recognition, as well as a steady stream of dedicated, zombie-fied followers, off of belittling Black men. Black female celebrities who openly praise light skin, shit on Black/dark skin Black men and play viciously on their insecurities and take advantage of the Black man’s relentless loyalty to the Black woman? I’ll wait.
    But do you know why you may not find any? Because we don’t do the EXACT same thing to them. Whereas you may have a handful of Black women who boast about how men of other races are ‘better’ and who talk about how ‘niggas ain’t shit’ and how they do this and that, Black men (not all – see, I’m nice enough to make the distinction) have taking the berating to a whole NEW level. Not only are Black women, and I repeat, expected to take up for the ills of the Black community and for the state of Black ppl but they are consistently made to feel like they have to apologize and have written ‘letters of apology’ to Black men. How’s that for loyalty?
    I’m not trying to turn your post into a gender war thing…in fact, I’m not the one who instigated it but too many excuses are being made for Black men. It is always being shoved to the side or behind ‘we are both doing this’, ‘we are both sick’ – and when Black women, like myself, try to speak up about this – we are made to look as if we are initiating something (you may not think this but I’m pretty sure a few others will come along and accuse me of being a femi nazi bitch/dyke/hater of Black men. To those of you: I have a Black man in my life who I love very much btw – don’t bother) when we are in fact outraged and astounded by the double standard and the unnecessary bouts of hatred being passed our way. Sure, we are sick. I’m reminded of that everyday, but the sickness isn’t always the case and what these men are doing and promoting shouldn’t be put down to ‘self hated’ or to ‘he doesn’t know what he’s doing, it is indirect anger’.
    Yeah, Black men who are bashing Black women may be bashing themselves also and vice versa but what will it mean when Black women are being killed over this projection – as they are being now?
    I’m not going to take up any more of your time or of this post, anyway. Thanks for your understanding.

  70. mschoco

    I understand and feel your anguish once again. That’s why I’ve written many, many posts on our relationship ills and the “whys” of that illness. I never make any excuses for our bad behaviour, in fact, you’ll notice when I do a post on black women, I do the male version on the next post.

    I don’t have clear answers for you, or any of you that are reading this but refraining from commenting. All I can say is what I’ve been saying from day one:

    Until we start looking at our own ills and stop beating each other up, we’re never going to get out of this mess. Why is black womanhood under attack? Because of a zombie-like celebrity agenda. Because we are the strongest of the two and perhaps feelings of envy and competitiveness show its ugly head. Because of low self esteem. Because as women, we are expected to know better. I could go on and on.

    I’m sorry if this post hurt. It hurts me when my people hurt. But, the question remains:

    When are we ALL going to take responsibility for our own actions and stop blaming the black family for our ills? What is it going to take for us to rise up as one people? How far will be have to be down the hueman ladder for us to snap out it?

  71. kowaba on said:

    After viewing both of the videos posted in the blog post, I observed that black people continue to be too trusting towards non-black people. From the one woman in the video who said she was helping that Moon Distributing Center to the black male in the update video shaking the Korean male’s hand and thinking that the Korean male didn’t know how to shake hands, to me it seems that many times we give people the benefit of the doubt too much. I know in the past, I have been guilty of this, but I’m trying hard to reframe my point of view about this racist society.

    The other day, I had met up with my mother — who happens to be Asian– and she told me that I should probably cut my hair much shorter now since it is not “professional” to have my hair in an afro. I know that other people have mentioned how natural hairstyles are not “professional” even other black people, but do people realize what they are actually saying? To me, it means that a black person can not be professional with their hair in its natural state. That there is something inherently wrong with having curly, kinky hair. Anyway, so I told my mother, you mean that it makes the racists feel uncomfortable at work when my hair is like this. Then she said yeah. Another thing, why do people always want to sugar coat this issue? Just say it makes white people feel uncomfortable because that’s the truth.

    One more thing, I think this whole American society is sick. Everything is in extremes. We have the highest levels of depression and anxiety out of all the countries in the world. There is some sort of group/power dynamics that impacts all groups in this society in a negative way. So I’m not surprised that the continual oppression of black people has made all of us mentally ill. As for the hair issue, I believe it is both males and females responsibility. Women want to be validated. If all women went natural and most of the men didn’t go for these women, I think there may be some women going back to relaxers and weaves.

  72. kowaba

    Excellent comments once again! You really hit it home this time. I believe that this is really about wanting to be validated. And yes, it falls on BOTH of our shoulders to respect and accept each others natural state.

  73. agreed. Men and women need to stop sending mixed messages and contradicting themselves.Some black men will say they hate weave,yet will flirt with a woman who has weave down her back.Some women will say they want a nice guy but will be flirting with the bad guy.The positive black men and black women should validate each other.The positive black men need to continue to compliment black women’s natural hair and date positive black women.The same way the positive black women should compliment and date the good black men.
    I saw a dating show and this black woman had weave and she went on a blind date with a black man who had dreads and she judged him and wanted the date over. some of us are so sick that we judge each other when we ourselves are in the same boat as the ones we are judging but can’t see it.Unfortunatly in america the bad people get rewarded while the good people get stepped on.I have not see 1 reality show with a positive cast,because anger,craziness,and immorality sell.Goodness,humbleness and kindness don’t sell.We need to unplug from this destructive society and uplift each other.

  74. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I just went to youtube to watch positive black vids,and does anybody else see these dam ads on there.I saw a vid about black unity and the ad next to it was interracial dating.I also saw a natural hair care vid and it was a weave ad next to it.I don’t watch any vids dealing with interracial or weave so wtf is this.It’s like they are sending these ads on some subliminal bullsheit.

  75. verbs2012 on said:

    Your response confirms exactly what I have been observing for a very long time, that most black women do not believe that they should be held accountable for any of their own actions by themselves and your comment confirms this with precision.

    This mish mash you have pieced together about a section of the blame being geared towards black men for desiring women to wear weaves and wanting women to have long straight hair as opposed to kinky hair is utter rubbish as black men were not crying out for black women to wear straight hair before they decided to put the weave on their head.

    No, the weave is simply part of the black woman’s on going legacy from the days of joining the ranks of the feminist movement. Black women who wear weaves are simply searching for approval from their new lord, saviour, master and father, the so called white man, most black women couldn’t give a shining brass monkey about black males anymore and most black women are still journeying on the road to whiteness as per the instructions of their father, attempting to distance themselves from any and all things black, including black men.

    You cannot run the “hate” line perspective on me. Black women in general without fail will roll out this slogan whenever their feet are held to the fire of accountability. As I stated before, most black women cannot be honest with themselves and like their lord and father whitey, will scramble for excuses, dodge, duck and weave in order to evade blame for any of their actions.

    The only reason why many black women are now beginning to feel the pain is because they realise that they have been taken for a ride and the white man’s gravy train is coming to an end, they have destroyed themselves physically for a man who has never told them that he is their friend nor has he told them that they have been accepted by him.

    Now the chickens are coming home to roost however when the so called white man was elevating black women up the corporate ladder and handing them plenty of dainty treats as a reward for their treachery against the black male, black women for the most part were enjoying themselves to the full. However, now that the gravy train has run out of gravy, these same said black women are scrambling to save face and offset the inevitable recompense which is soon to land on their doorstep.

    I marvel at how you would compare buying clothes, food, using hospitals and attending school to wearing a weave. For the most part these are necessaries, wearing a weave is not. Again, the weave is not part of the system, it is something that black women BY THEMSELVES have incorporated into their own lives. Black women make the decision to wear weaves, the weave has not been placed upon your head by force.

    This weave wearing issue has nothing to do with independence of the system, this comparison is ridiculous, this is all about calling out the large majority of black women attempting to justify behaviour that is just plain loco and insane. If I put on a European man’s wig and walked down the street I would be laughed to scorn immediately however black women put on the same and you believe that people are not laughing at you in the same manner????????

    The major difference between many black women and myself is I can be honest with myself, most black women cannot be honest and have to lie to themselves in pride and in arrogance because they hate the truth………exactly like their father, lord and saviour. Nobody stated it was about being perfect, it is about HONESTY and facing the truth no matter how harsh.

    Healing for the majority of black women will come when they begin to be honest with themselves, recognise that wearing somebody else’s hair on their heads is insane behaviour and that accountability for one’s own actions begins with that person alone, not them and the whole street. Until then, most black women will continue travelling the downward spiral to oblivion unto death.

    When I compare a demographic of black women(which seems to be a majority nowadays)to beasts and animals, I am not just referring to the weave wearing, there is also the fake eye lashes, the fake nails, the off colour contact lenses, the building site layers of make up, the butt injections, the twerking, the profanity and continual use of foul language(women are supposed to be the fairer sex yet their mouths are just as foul as the men), the lack of morality when it comes to keeping their legs closed, the extremely violent nature of many black women today thinking that they can physically take on men in a brawl, the continual terrorizing of their children in the home by themselves especially the male children and last but by no means least, the slaying of innocent children inside and outside of the womb.

    Black women on the whole abort 4 times as many babies in the womb compared to women from other nationalities. Today, more black children are assassinated in the womb than are born. In light of this fact and the others above, what other terms would be fit to describe the majority of black women who are carrying out these behaviours? Are these the behaviours of a so called “queen”?

  76. verbs2012 on said:

    Lastly, I have to laugh at this accusation of hate, very few people acknowledge the raw truth anymore, most folks especially black folks have itching ears and purposely direct them towards nonsense, propaganda and radical lies. I clearly understand one of the main reasons why the black race is trundling down the toilet, we exalt liars and story tellers while persecuting those who give us the truth and raw facts as they stand.

    How can everything all of a sudden be hate only just because somebody takes offense? Why can there be no other explanation given apart from “he/she is being hateful/ is a hater? Is it possible that what has been given could actually be the truth even though you may not like how it is presented? Black people always want to be treated like perpetual children.

  77. We need to remind ourselves that we deal with a more efficient devious form of racism than any black generation has dealt with. At its roots is a psychological attack that projects our inferiority in all forms especially our natural appearance. This brainwashing is saturated in every aspect of life. That is why some reach the herman cain boule level of self hate. Where you kill your own legally. We serve only our oppressors when we fight amongst each other without first realizing our common goal and desire to be free of oppression. We need to fight our enemy and respect his insidious guile not each other. When u hate the natural appearance of the black woman u mock the image of your creator. What fool does this

  78. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @Kal
    “We serve only our oppressors when we fight amongst each other without first realizing our common goal and desire to be free of oppression”

    I’m not sure that everyone on this thread wants to see us free of oppression.

    “Every brother ain’t a brother cause a color
    Just as well could be undercover
    Backstabbed, grabbed a flag
    From the back of the lab”

    -Chuck D,Public Enemy, Welcome to the Terror Dome

  79. I really don’t like hearing black men or women being degraded especially by our own. I have long stopped calling these men on their stuff. I mean black men say they don’t like that weave stuff and what not however, it always amazes me that these same men will not even look at a black women with natural hair unless her hair is loose curls instead of tight curls. I realized that these men who say all that stuff and then go for or with something else are just running their mouths and never wanted a natural black woman anyway. It used to hurt, but not so much anymore as i have come to realize that I don’t want these men either.

    It is a great step forward that more black women are going natural and dropping this mess altogether. I hope we collectively stay the course and never go back. Not just because we look better natural, it is healthier than chemicals or weaves that will tear your hair out and suffocate your scalp, it is also psychologically healing. Not only for the person with natural hair, but for all the other black people that see it. It says I accept me, you can accept yourself and know that you are right to wear your natural hair.

    Verb I get where you are coming from and am not blaming black men for anything ever!!!! They are not responsible for black women or what they put on their heads. Black women need to realize this and stop looking for any man black or otherwise to acknowledge them ever. Love and acknowledgement must first come from self. This is challenging and hard for BW to accept as we collectively want so much to be accepted. However, your statements seem to hold so much anger toward bw. Perhaps that is what you meant to do to draw attention to an already frustrating situation.

    It is sad to say I now ignore what comes out of most black men mouths when it come to women issues as I find that most not all don’t really have a black women’s interest at heart. I work on me and then family. I treat all black men with respect and when the same is given in turn I am pleasantly surprised. I find that this has given me much peace in life. I have also found that the black men in my life are much easier to deal with as I do not look for their praise, admiration, or love and when or if any of those things are give I accept them graciously. As I know that love, respect, honor, and such is not a give in this life for us and the only way to get this is within yourself. The change I make in the world is for me and those that I love and love me and not for those who don’t. I do not love the whole world and do not expect the whole world to love me.

    So, when dealing with hair, men or whatever, I do me first and have found that I no longer stress over anything related to my hair or black men. Black men will rise when they are good and ready. If black women rise before them so be it. She will need to do much for herself first before she can even worry about a man. Black women need not be a sacrifice and be alone, yet finding a good mate will take some work.

  80. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @honeytreebee

    Sometimes it’s not a matter of wanting compliments but of not wanting ridicule. Adult dark skin black women get insulted all the time by black males for their skin tone, hair, and facial features. I found these gems of misogynoir on Tumblr:

    http://thesmittencoquettishkitten.tumblr.com

    “Another daily rambling of a darker skinned sister.

    Black guys just seem to enjoy making fun of me. Like they really do.

    I remember walking around last summer and there was a group of guys I passed and one screamed out “Aye yo my nigga is tryin to chop!” and they all started laughing. I didn’t bother to turn around because right after that I heard “Naw man she’s ugly as fuck.”

    -_- I mean like where does it stop? It happened again today too when I was waiting for the bus. Some guy just says “I’m not into darker skinned females I mean they just look kind of dirty to me” and his friends were nodding in agreement. I was right there. Like right there. But it didn’t matter. And most of those guys were darker than me yet said that shit. ”

    On another site: http://theuppitynegras.tumblr.com/post/47685784410/how-to-be-a-dark-skinned-girl-a-checklist-by-written

    A dark skinned women was attack hour an hour for being dark skinned by a black man. She created a check list for black men that support white supremacy (here is the whole thing with spelling errors):

    “How to Be A Dark Skinned Girl: A Checklist by Written by Black Men in Close Association with White Supremacy

    You’re ugly
    You’ve always been ugly
    You’re always gonna be ugly
    You don’t deserve to to feel good about yourself
    You shouldn’t stand up to yourself especially against other black folks
    Most African Americans are fair or at least caramel skinned so it’s completely reasonable for you t be mistaken for an African or Jamaican In fact it’s hilarious because lol Africans
    100% of dark skinned girls are just of the lighter skinned girls and who the fuck do these dark hoes think they are
    Nigga did I just catch you looking in the mirror. Didn’t we establish you’re ugly
    The only people that will take up for you are the people that feel sorry for you
    The only people that will compliment you feel sorry for you
    The only people that will date you feel sorry for you
    The only people that will marry you, build a life with you, and grow old with you are the ones that feel sorry for
    Oh you got people that actually like you yeah well you’re dark skinned so it doesn’t matter
    You’re not worthily of love because you’re skin is too black
    It’s not even medically possible to be that dark despite the fact everybody black got dark skinned people in their families
    Haha darkie!
    Yes racism is bad. And sexism on top of racism is worse but colorism isn’t bad because you were born dark and that’s wrong
    But at the end of the day we need you to help stop racism
    What part of n self-esteem do you no quite understand?
    And no red lipstick
    Once you’ve accepted yur lot in life you too can be a dark skinned girl by the books. Because we’re black people at the end of the day/it was just a joke/black is beautiful but not too black /etc.

    Or you can tell colorist motherfuckers to kiss your beautiful black ass”

    Another women posted this in her defense when black men criticized her for the check list:
    http://notesonascandal.tumblr.com/post/47699724735/notes-on-a-scandal-how-to-be-a-dark-skinned-girl-a

    “When Black men stop doing this shit to us, maybe it will stop. The young lady who wrote this was verbal attacked for AT LEAST an hour last night by a young Black man about the darkness of her skin. She’s gorgeous and he found every way imaginable to tell her she was ugly because she’s “too black” and had the nerve, the AUDACITY to post selfies. She has a right to vent and to defend herself against such attacks in ANY WAY she deems appropriate. That is her pain and she can do with it as she chooses. And no, she will not “cut it out” until she’s done with it.

    And I won’t stop supporting her.

    Most of the dark-skinned Black women who responded to her rebuttals said that it is almost ALWAYS Black men who attack and ridicule them about how dark they are. That has also been my experience. Understand how what happened last night to Uppity Negress is a microcosm of what happens to us DAILY at the hands of Black men. We get attacked for simply existing. And God forbid we seem happy and satisfied and celebrate ourselves. We get the bullshit even more. Which what happened to her last night.

    So yeah, we do need a resolution. Gather together in MY NAME with your homies and y’all figure out how the fuck y’all are gonna stop attacking Black women. ”

    Some black women don’t expect BM to praise them; all they want is to not be attacked for being black and female with a lot of melanin. This stuff is all over the net.

  81. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @Truthbetold

    Honest opinion. Is this not hatred and misogynoirism by Verb2012 (SWP):

    “Most black women are complete goners and will continue to obey the insane instructions of adjustment that the white man gives out that lead them down the road of degradation even further, the black women with their heads screwed on are in a very small minority. At the present path of trajectory the majority black women will end of the scrap heap of rejection, a nation of women bald headed, repugnant, repulsive, an eye sore, completely mad, full of disease and women no longer wanted by any man of any nationality.”

    Why is he posting to this blog if most BW are goners, will end up on the scrap heap and repulsive? Learn to spot enemies that come masked as friends. He writes like a menticidal brown skinned white supremacist. Your blog has attacked either SWP himself or one of his followers.

    The fact not none of the other black men that post to this site challenged him shows where they really stand. Their silence shows that they will not protect BW from the venom of other BM. They forfeit any right to leadership by their silence. As black women we are really ass out in a very anti-black and woman hating world.

  82. verbs2012 on said:

    Alchemist:

    I am going to have to show you your stupidity, this is the only way I can respond to the nonsense that you have posted. Yet again, my point is proven, black women in general cannot be honest with themselves and certainly refuse to accept correction on any level. Selectively pulling out certain paragraphs while deliberately ignoring others will not get you far at all if you are attempting to prove a point against me.

    Since you made the decision to ignore the paragraph that followed, I am going to post it here for all to see again:

    “You wise sisters who see what is taking place had better start separating yourselves from the majority of the dysfunctional wild beast reprobate trash that is the majority of black women today, and pull out those who are looking for truth and who have the seed of redemption from the outside the circle”.

    This is why I am still bothering to post, because most being goners does not mean all. What, do we abandon ship because of the many and as a result fail the few??

    “He writes like a menticidal brown skinned white supremacist”.

    What kind of an outlandish statement is this? Oh, so at the moment black women are at their peak and thriving are they? What, for pointing out what I am observing among most black women today I am an enemy of the black woman, just for reporting what I and everybody else sees in plain view????? Is this the logic that you are bringing to this discussion?

    This is the problem with most black women, they cannot and will not accept the truth(except if it comes from the white man) and they lack the critical thinking skills required to deconstruct an opposite position.

    Maybe the black men on here are not berating me because I am RIGHT, maybe they are thinking, ” finally, there is a brother here who is telling the truth like it is, undiluted”. Maybe the men on here are thinking that it is about time that black women be held accountable for their own reprobate actions instead of looking for a distributor everytime their feet are held to the fire. Herein lies the typical mentality of the black women in general, you always believe that you are in the right and how dare this black man come on here and tell you otherwise.

    The gloves are off for black women as far as I am concerned, I am not going to excuse the foolery and outlandish nonsense anymore. Just as I can and do berate reprobate black men for their insane, outlandish and stupid actions, reprobate black women will receive the same treatment, they are not exempt from scrutiny and correction.

  83. He’s a Black devil. Simple.
    And what I find interesting is how Diary of a Negress excuses his ranting and the anti-BW infested ranting of these type of Black men and puts it down to ‘mental illness’ but a Black woman who relaxes her hair/wears weave and shops at Asian beauty supply shops has nobody to blame but herself.

  84. verbs2012 on said:

    Honeytreebee,

    This is what has happened and is happening today. Since the feminist movement recruited the black woman, the white man has deliberately placed her in a position of power and authority over the black man. The history is there, the results are self evident, this cannot be refuted. This is an unnatural position for any woman to be placed in yet alone a black woman.

    Any systems that are unnatural begin to crumble and fall apart over time, we are currently witnessing this with the European man’s system of Babylon. Within this crumbling system the authority of the black woman over the black man is also beginning to fall apart, naturally so, this was always going to be the inevitable outcome of this artificial construct he has put in place.

    Black women in general have held black men enslaved and captive with their bestowed power and authority, black women in general have also enjoyed placing their boots on the foreheads of black men, they also for the most part have enjoyed bashing black men down and treading them under their feet in collaboration. This is slavery within slavery, we are enslaved as a nation and the black female has been placed over the black male as his task master.

    The problem now is that black women are seeing that their power over their appointed captives is diminishing and they for the most part do not want to give up that power. It is not only diminishing because of this crumbling system, it is also falling apart due to the fact that black men in huge number are beginning to say “enough is enough” and revolt against this mutant construct.

    After all, if you have been appointed by your master to manage a group of people and they begin to revolt against your authority and begin to free themselves from your oppression, what further use are you to your master once complete liberation has taken place?

    Black women in general should have wised up to the fact a long time ago that the so called white man is only a user and that the relationship that they have with him would not last for ever. This is the real reason why most black women today are in panic mode, miserable, in dire straits not knowing which direction to turn in, they know that if they lose control over the black male, all is lost for them. The truth be told, black women for the most part love and enjoy this system for the numerous benefits, perks and treats that it has brought them.

    Me bringing out these facts and stating what has taken place is not an attack on black women, this is simply what has happened and brought us to where we are today. We are going to have to face the raw facts and the results if we are going to have any chance of turning things around and one of the things that is going to have to start taking place is black women generally starting to be honest and taking the wrap for their own actions by themselves. There is no other way around this if we are expecting to receive a bright and fruitful outcome for the future.

  85. verbs2012 on said:

    This is part of free speech, what kind of mentality is that to where you want somebody not to be permitted to speak because they have said something that make YOU feel uncomfortable?

    You are simply one of these reprobates that I have been talking about, you cannot think critically and everything at fault that is pointed out against you automatically is done so out of “hatred”??? This is your twisted logic and you will only be able to recruit other reprobates to agree with you and join your campaign.

    I’m a black devil for telling the truth?? You cannot deconstruct the argument presented so you simply resort to name calling. I have to keep repeating the same line again and again because you have proven me right yet again with your response, most black women cannot be honest with themselves.

  86. I find it funny how whenever this (this being, anti Black woman rhetoric) is being countered and rebuked by Black women, you Black devils are quick to come with: ‘This is the problem with Black women. Your problem is that you can’t take ‘constructive criticism’…as if to shame us into thinking that we are being selfish, stubborn and unwilling to own up to our faults , when in fact we are countering the explicit and personal hatred, that is seeping from your writing. Writing, that transcends that of simple criticism and becomes that of abhorrence and anger.
    There is a huge difference between being offering constructive criticism and berating the Black women, her appearance and calling for the complete destruction and persecution of Black women who do not fit your ideal of what a Black woman should be. Docile too – at this point, as well as natural, right?

    ‘The gloves are off for black women as far as I am concerned’

    Oh really? You want to fight now??
    Yeah, you kind as struck me as the violent type. The type of male who hits women. Especially if your ego is not being stroked the right way or if she refuses to submit to what you want her to submit to/ if she isn’t doing something you approve of. Yeah, you strike me as a patronising, abusive, arrogant individual who likes to play mind games with Black women in order to maintain control (Diary of a Negress, if you are reading this, I would like to remind you of the comment I made a few months ago in regards to the 2 letters that were submitted to you by the Caucasian individual. The abusive mate analogy? Because this, in terms of how he exercises this ‘nobody will ever want you’ mental game, reminded me of that), who sees Black women – in general, regardless of how they behave, wear their hair etc as completely inferior and unequal next to that of the opposite sex.
    You can call whatever you have been posting so far, ‘constructive criticism’…you can call it that until your face turns blue. But from what I noticed (and I reread your first post), you didn’t offer ANY solutions of any kind. No: ‘this is what I think these women should do’, no: ‘this is what I think would benefit the Black woman or the Black community’. You came here to attack and BERATE, Black women. THAT, was the first thing that crossed your mind when you came here.
    You, the likes of you – be they a Black male or a Black female, are counter-productive to melanited people across the globe. WHY? Because in order for Nubians to rise as a whole, the Nubian woman has to rise up and reclaim the position she fell from but you want to mould the Black woman into whatever it is that you want her to be. You want her so stay stuck, to stay submissive, to regress and to remain dependant on you and your repulsive, patriarchal, Black Roman, homosexual, Christianized, Caucasian-inspired ideologies. You are as treacherous, as conniving and as dangerous as the so called inferior, demonic Black women you hate. You are a trifling, hateful individual. You are a deceiver (who, before I forget, tries to play it up to the natural women who post here with kind words and with reference to their ‘wisdom’ so that they disregard the evil in you and the evil in your words. You must think all women are naive, foolish and hungry for male validation. Like little girls.) and deep down, you know it.
    I see you. My father (yes, I have a father – the strong, unyielding Nigerian kind) WARNED me about men like you. About Black people like you. Yes, there are treacherous Black women. Millions of them. Who are soulless and evil to the core. Who exist only to cause further pain, suffering and confusion to the Nubian people. Who are here to help do the Caucasian’s bidding and I’m wholly convinced that you came through the vagina of one. You are of your mother. I see you and I see your spirit. You are demonic, pretentious and soulless. You are a Black devil. And that, regardless of whatever your reply may consist of, is ALL I’ll ever have to say to you.
    But one last thing: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. Whatever it is that your intention is, it’ll come back for you. Ten fold.

  87. ‘Name calling’? Look who’s talking about ‘name calling’!
    Kettle? Pot? Black?
    I’m only calling you by your NAME(S). That is all.

  88. White devils are not exempt from what I have for them so why should I treat Black devils any different?

  89. Mariama on said:

    This is so beautifully written! I co-sign, in fact you took the words out of my mouth.

  90. Black women need to realize this and stop looking for any man black or otherwise to acknowledge them ever. Love and acknowledgement must first come from self

    Honestly i have a question and a huge problem with this statement….

    Since when did Black women stop needing the rightful and loving and validation of her OWN people? We do not exist in a vacuum or individually…we are a part of a collective, i would hope that any mentally and emotionally healthy Black women would want to be acknowledged by the world around her for her thoughtfulness, kindness, beauty, and contributions to society.
    One typically begins to love herself or himself in childhood when the adults and caregivers express love and affection, and for a child to turn into an adult who “loves” herself or himself, everyone in his/her life much express “love”. No…Black women should want to be acknowledged….as any other human being needs that for their survival..

    Now maybe i misread your statement and i hope that i have.

  91. I just came in from watering my seeds and saw all the comments.

    What is going on?

    You know, a few weeks ago, Neely Fuller and I spoke again about his book and some passages he’d written. He stated firmly, “Put black people together in a room for 5 minutes and they’ll start fighting.”

    I never meant this post to become an all out warfare between the sexes. This was supposed to be an eye opener about how EVERY race capitalizes off of us yet treats us like 4th class citizens.

    We are universally targeted for profit yet hated for our carbon. What are we going to do to fix this problem if we can’t even have an adult discussion about our ills? Verbs, you know that I support you in your efforts to awaken us even though I stated before that your rhetoric can be harsh.

    And mschoco and alchemist, your feelings are also valid and yes, black women are under relentless attack. We seemed to be the only people on earth where pity, empathy and love are not warranted.

    This divide is what’s killing us.

    The eternal blame game…not one person here wants to accept responsibility for his or her own failings. That’s why I wrote “Dropping out of the system”. I gave clear, mostly COST FREE ways to free your minds. And fighting amongst ourselves is at the top of the list.

    I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried my best. Whatever happens to us in the NEAR future, at least Jah knows I tried. The rest is up to us.

  92. verbs2012 on said:

    You are not failing in the slightest to use the mainstream media terms that have been handed down to you by your white father, “hate”, “bias”, “anti” etc. Have you so lost the ability to think and reason for yourself?

    Since you have decided to come against me you have failed to deconstruct any of my positions which doesn’t surprise me at all as you cannot rail against the truth, it is what it is and your emotional rants will not change this. To tell me that I cannot take constructive criticism is simply a joke on your part as you haven’t constructed and presented any kind of counter argument yet.

    Now you are talking in a haphazard, deceptive manner. You knew full well that “gloves coming off” meant me not holding back anymore in verbally holding black women to account for their actions but in your wickedness yet again, it is nothing on your conscience to twist and lie about what I said.

    This is the evil of most black women today. Your responses continue to prove me right time and time again. Most black women today are just as evil and wicked as their father the white man, there is no level that they will not drop to, especially under his instructions.

    The fact of the matter is that black women have already been given the solutions and most have simply refused to act on them because one of the main changes that would have to take place would be them having to hand power and authority back to black men which most do not want to do for the various reasons that I explained about before. You already know what you need to do, you just simply don’t want to do it because you enjoy your current position and the perks that come with it.

    If your new white father gave you some solutions, you would carry them out without question, just as you have carried out his previous tasks that have brought you to your present state of decadence. The black woman never fell from her position, she was MOVED UP into the black male’s position by her white father and she wishes to remain in that position forever.

    In order for the black race to rise, the black woman must step down from her position of power and authority and return it back to its rightful owner, the black male. Women are not supposed to lead and have power and authority over men, this is not the natural order of life.

    Herein lies the problem, you have been conveniently disinformed by the so called white man that submission equals slavery and servitude, yet everywhere else where this natural principal is applied, the family structure of those people is strong and intact, the women are not dysfunctional, the men know their place and responsibility and there is no competition between the man and the woman for power.

    Your “version” of submission comes straight out of the feminist camp handbook. Your recompense is already unfolding. Black women in general have spat in the face of the Most High who set up the man to be the authority over the woman. No problem, enjoy your rebellion and your leadership while it lasts and then enjoy your recompense which you will drink shortly after the fun and games end.

  93. I sincerely believe arguing amongst ourselves is pointless and a strategy used by our true enemy to divide any united resistance to a thoroughly structured campaign of war and genocide that is perpetual. To devote energies to attack each other in this forum is very white.

  94. darqbeauty on said:

    And this is why I don’t engage in the gender wars.I said as much here AND on Verbs blog. I saw this coming a mile away. When people want to point out a splinter in someone else’s eyes and never the plank in their own, then I stay far far away. The Bible says ISRAEL is cursed. Not Israel’s men. Not Israel’s women. Israel in general. Does the Bible say Black men are the source of all woes? No. That Black women are? No.
    Yet there are those who would try to put the blame solely in one camp. If someone can show me in the Bible where it says Black women are the ones mostly responsible for the downfall of Israel, then I will never speak a peep about the gender wars again. But I know the Bible well enough to know it doesn’t say that or anything like that. The Most High says Israel in general is fallen and is under a curse. And we MUST be cursed to engage in this kind of finger pointing. My people. My poor poor people. *heart broken*

  95. darqbeauty on said:

    COMPLETELY agreed!

  96. emile on said:

    I agree.

    Counter-strategy:…”Minimize the conflict”, because in some way or another, we are all to blame for allowing this ball to drop from an economic point of view. Again, what are we learning from our mistakes? What do we do with the business intelligence we have acquired up to this point? What contingency plans do we need to refine to ensure that cultural and economic exploitation of this sort don’t happen again, to the best of our abilities? Most importantly, considering the creative and entrepreneurial acumen that Black women proven themselves in having in this area, what opportunities are we going to create and use in leveraging the cultural and economic assets we currently possess? Give credit where it is due. The other non-Black businesses are only doing what we should be doing, by taking full advantage of an existing opportunity.

    I can fully grasp the reasoning behind such passionate statements. To some degree, many of us are purely disappointed as well as confused with the state of things, and yes, it can “seem” hopeless at times. But with the knowledge we’re gaining, more clarification will lessen the confusion. I’d like to reiterate that we’ve got to become more proactive in supplanting this issue with more feasible alternatives in conquering the status quo, with less emphasis placed upon what’s happening to us and more directly upon what economic and cultural outcomes we’re seeking.

    As with anything new, it would have to start off in small phases. Black women, in this particular area, have a complete upper hand in producing more positive outcomes. How? Your consumer power, whereas you control, monitor and analyze your expenditures with the consumer and business intelligence you’ve acquired, i.e. where’s your money going, who it is supporting and whether it is in your best interest. She obviously has the economic, emotional and spiritual support she would need in making a healthy decision to express her natural beauty, just based upon the positive and reaffirming comments made on this blog. Realistically, everyone is not going to follow suit nor see the forest for the trees.

    Business is competitive and relentless, and no one is going to just “give up” the opportunity of making money off of another group’s economic vulnerabilities, even if it is undoubtedly unethical. therefore, the best plan, per Mr. Fuller, is just that; the “best” plan with an outlined agenda whose sole focus is upon:

    (1) Rectifying the controversial issue of economic exploitation of Black hair care customers;

    (2) Providing applicable, strategic business models that address the need to recapture Black hair care customers not just for profit but for justifiable health-related concerns too;

    (3) R&D and dissemination of helpful information that explains all of the unknown wonders of natural Black hair, Black hair’s unique attributes, the healthy and affordable options to weaves and extensions;

    (4) Define the market of Black women who are in need of specialized hair care from a cultural standing;

    (5) Develop a PR/marketing campaign whose platform builds upon the wholesome aspects of Black women choosing to wear their natural hairstyles for healthy reasons and as a complement to natural beauty. The content is currently available, such as the videos posted here, social media, blogs, etc.

    This is indeed an business opportunity that can be pursued and can only corrected by the very people it affects the most: us.

  97. wow that was crazy,i would’ve thought this arguments would’ve
    taken place on the black women post.THis post is about how other races profit off of our insecurities that they create.They create problems then offer us an expensive solution.Can we stay on topic? I just want this battle to end now.I hate seeing us fight.Its always gay black vs straight blacks, black men vs black women, natural haired women vs relaxed/weaved women.Yes some are more sick then others,but to point out flaws without solutions is pointless. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.At least if you don’t like black women wearing weave say something constructive and positive.Like I like your hair without weave you look better, and just think of the money you’d save without it. Instead of saying yall need to take that mess outta your head that hair ain’t yours you look a dam fool.See the difference,i learned in speech class that you should use I messages instead of you messages or people will shut down and say you are nagging them.Even jesus had to speak to people in parables so they could understand and listen.Black men I know yall don’t like it when some black women be little yall and say things about how you dress,who you date,etc. Yes there are some black women who power trip,there are also some black men who get power and want to forget who they are and where they came from. I wish people would understand.I see some black men dressing as women to portay black women as stereotypes[tyler perry,jamie foxx,martin,etc] I don’t see black women dressing as black men and portraying stereotypes. At the same time i Know its some black women who support this nonsense like tyler perry.We both have homework,WE both need to work on not belittling each other and not supporting those that do.WE both need our positive voices heard over the negative ones. WE both need to support the positive black men,women,and children and ignore the negative ones.

  98. I think it is wishful thinking to believe that Black people will ALL see things the same and not have conflict…

    Should there be a gender war–no–and technically there isn’t one–

    FACT: Most Black men and women marry within the race–like 90% of the time for men and 95% of the time for women

    FACT: Last year hair relaxers fell by a whooping 40% in the U.S.

    FACT: Black women worldwide are forsaking chemical relaxers and fake hair

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/01/natural-hair-movement-dark-and-lovely_n_2791638.html

    http://www.heartlandconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=723081

    Now instead of looking at this as a win, win for Black women and ultimately the Black World, some either ignore this powerful change, chalk it up to something negative or continue to lament about how deeply confused, sick or whatever Black folks are…

    It doesn’t take whites to put us down–we happily do it ourselves.

    I will say it again as i have time and time again on this blog and on countless others…Black does not equal dysfunction.

    I don’t care who takes offense–its high time these things are said. Changes don’t happen over night; it takes time… i first posted a link above talking about ladies in Africa who are going natural and silence…

    Yet there was a lot of talk about how Black women work with white men to keep Black men down through feminism….i would ask any thinking Black person to examine this and you may come to the realization that the woman keeping Black men down is in fact white because it is that group(white women) who overwhelmingly benefits from Affirmative Action–if you didn’t know AA is a byproduct of feminism to create a false belief of economic and social equality yet through AA white women are allowed to take resources out of the white community and then channel them back into the white community but misplaced anger is directed at not just Black women, but Black people as whole for wrongly benefitting from AA (a perceived threat rather than an actual problem)

    But i disgress, now back to the topic at hand. Using some deductive reasoning here, since i have proven that a steadily growing population of Black women globally are indeed going natural, that will only mean in time that Asian run hair businesses will trickle out of the Black community due to loss of business. They are aware that their days are numbered as functioning businesses, hence they have started to try to market to natural Sistas.

    This is probably the most i have ever said on this blog because i can’t believe that some comments were actually allowed to see the light of day.

  99. Folks, I have worn my hair in locs for the past five years or so. Before that my hair was natural. I experimented with relaxers(briefly, too much upkeep) and even sported a Gheri curl. That was comical in and of itself as I had to put a plastic bag over it and sleep with my head over the side of the bed so as not to get the crap from the gheri curl maintenance solution on my pillows and bedding! Many a time I woke up in the midst of falling out of bed and smashing my head on the floor. suffice it to say, it didn’t last too long. Those were my only forays into chemical hair care.

    My hair is ultra fine. My locs are ultra fine and few as a result. I wash and go and palm roll them once in a while. I couldn’t care less what people say! I’ll be damned if I resort to wearing other peoples hair though(unless it is for medical reasons such as alopecia for example)! With that being said, I do not begrudge any women who chooses to sport weaves and relaxed hair. Like others have posted, white supremacist brainwashing cannot be undone in a few years. More people are becoming aware, and this is picking up steam. Empathy and aiding those coming into awareness is in order.

  100. mstoogood4yall on said:

    @ herneith

    “That was comical in and of itself as I had to put a plastic bag over it and sleep with my head over the side of the bed so as not to get the crap from the gheri curl maintenance solution on my pillows and bedding! ”

    Baawhhahha!! I used to have a jheri curl too. My mom still does. I would hate the humidity,then it would really drip. And roadtrips i would need a towel or something so it didn’t get on the car headrest.Oh the memories.

  101. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @Truthbetold
    You need to ask yourself if Malcolm X, Amos Wilson, Chancellor Williams, Khalid Muhammad, John Henrik Clarke, etc. would co-sign on the statements below made by Verb2012. I have never read any statements on this blog by a BW that were this dehumanizing and hateful toward black males. Mzchocosensualhedbob, mstoogood4yall and I responded to his hate filled rants because the rest of the people on this thread either co-signed or were silent. This person is not a counter-racists nor is he trying to being unity. All the calls for unity in the world will yield no fruit as long as pro-black, counter-racists, and conscious black folk ignore the deeply ingrained misogyny that is blooming like a poison mushroom in their mists. You cannot bury your heads in the sand and think that this meme (black women are traitors and evil) won’t harm our ability to create justice under the system of racism white supremacy. Dehumanizing a marginalized group of already marginalized people is very dangerous.

    Statements by Verb2012:

    “You wise sisters who see what is taking place had better start separating yourselves from the majority of the dysfunctional wild beast reprobate trash that is the majority of black women today…

    “Most black women are complete goners and will continue to obey the insane instructions of adjustment that the white man gives out that lead them down the road of degradation even further, the black women with their heads screwed on are in a very small minority. At the present path of trajectory the majority black women will end of the scrap heap of rejection, a nation of women bald headed, repugnant, repulsive, an eye sore, completely mad, full of disease and women no longer wanted by any man of any nationality.”

    “Black women in general have held black men enslaved and captive with their bestowed power and authority, black women in general have also enjoyed placing their boots on the foreheads of black men, they also for the most part have enjoyed bashing black men down and treading them under their feet in collaboration. This is slavery within slavery, we are enslaved as a nation and the black female has been placed over the black male as his task master.”

    “This is the evil of most black women today. Your responses continue to prove me right time and time again. Most black women today are just as evil and wicked as their father the white man, there is no level that they will not drop to, especially under his instructions.”

  102. Tyrone on said:

    @Honeytreebee

    The hair issue keeps us distracted from dealing with larger issues. If we’re arguing with each other over hair, we got a problem. The blackwoman’s crown must be returned to her rightful heir…You! The blackwoman must win in decisive fashion. It’s not about the other women, you created them…all of them.

    Ty
    realhistoryww.com

  103. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    Cults Recruit Black Males Using Hatred Of Black Women

  104. Tee Bee on said:

    Alchemist

    I agree with your statement that black women should not be ridiculed. It gets tiring hearing these lost souls on the street make fun of or outright degrade black women that most times they don’t even know. What I was getting at was I don’t put stock in these lost souls their words don’t carry weight with me kinda like when white people speak. I’ve learned to know put any stock in wp words about me. I do the same with lost souls. I don’t consider them potential mates and do my best to move away from them. It is sad when you run into thee people who have the potential to be BM and BW and are under to wp spell.

    I find the best thing to do is to stay away from them as I can not help them at this time. Until we are healed and or have begun to heal collectively in mass we will continue to hear this crazy speech from these lost souls. It does not excuse it. It is wrong and no BP should ever have to hear this. However, knowing the state that we are in I think expecting complements from these lost souls will only make for hurt.

    When I said ” Black women need to realize this and stop looking for any man black or otherwise to acknowledge them ever.” I meant now in the system we live in outside of your own collective. Those lost souls on the street most likely are never going to see your beauty and receive the healing that is there just from your very presence. No In My Opinion the best we can do is to heal ourselves, then our collective and then we will be ready to build a community that can bring in those long lost souls and start the healing process then. We must build up self and our reserves first before we help others.

    I still see these lost souls as brothers and sisters that is why I think it is important not to call each other names even when we act crazy cause we are. If, you keep telling people they are nothing and name calling the may very well manifest what you call them. It is already known that if, you keep telling a child they are worthless they will over time prove you right. We have enough people in the world telling us all kinds of crazy stuff about ourselves and those that listen to the harpies go mad. No expecting anything from these men ever is what I meant. I refer to them as BM more out what I hope they will become than out of what they are now.

    I do not give up hope on them as it was Malcolm who was a hustler, thief, pimp and so on who later became a True Black Man. However, it took other black men to lead the way and bring about a healing for him so he could function as he should with others. Remember he had was not good for black women when he was a lost soul yet when he found his self and began healing he became the type of black man that black women should measure other men by when looking for a mate.

  105. honeytreebee on said:

    Phoebeprunelle

    Look at the response I gave Alchemist along with the response I’ll give you here. When I said BW need to realize this and stop looking for BM or others to acknowledgement and so forth I meant out side of her unit. I consider a unit family, close friends, and spouse. Yes, black people should expect love from their unit. However, living in this sick nation and black hostile world I do not expect lost souls BM and BW to acknowledge me ever. How can they when they are sick and when this does happen I do graciously accept it.

    What I was getting at is IN MY OPINION there are too many brothers and sister who are starting to wake up and then get their feelings hurt by these sick and lost souls. It hurts because we really want our family all black people well and back together again. However, we are not there yet so instead of looking for acceptance and love from those who don’t have it to give draw on your own to get you through those encounters with those people. Yes, it starts with self you must love yourself enough to protect yourself from these lost souls who would hurt you and not look to them for anything ever.

    When I say this I was not including black men and women who are awake and reaching out to you. However, we do live in a barren land when it comes to loving black communities that feed our souls and looking for love from a hurt and lost person I think will only make you that way too. Yes, you are right we black women do not exist in a vacuum and are only as strong and giving as we have been nourished to be so. That is why I say don’t expect it ever in general from the outside world or lost souls cause we live in a very sick place that attacks black men and women and there are a lot of lost sick souls that don’t have it to give.

    I read on Trojan horse press an excerpt from a book called Black Love Is A Revolutionary Act. It explains how this mess between BM and BW can about and who is really at fault and what can be done to heal and correct the situation. If you lose site of the culprit here fighting between the victims will break out because each has a special type of hurt that needs to be acknowledge and healed. Yet when, where, who and when we approach for this healing must carefully be taken into consideration. That is why I say not to expect it from black men ever. I should have said those lost soul of potential black men. Along with other men as I think their praise is suspect at best because it is often to get something from the black woman at the expense of her dignity, self worth or her people. I see other men as sucking resources away from the black community when they try to flatter and bed black women.

    I expect to catch hell for saying that, but that is what I think. We collectively have enough mess and when others inject themselves well… it tends to only make a bigger mess for us. No one can fix this except us yet we can not fix this mess until we heal ourselves and our unit first. As for the men in my circle I do not demand that they give me their respect, admiration, and love. No I don’t demand it, as I do not believe you can make anyone give you these thing. I have it and it is freely given yet, never demanded or taken for granted. Perhaps, as with all things this too will change over time. However, right now for me it has brought about peace in my circle and has helped us to define our roles and places with each other and not this sick world we live in.

  106. honeytreebee on said:

    Negress,

    This is why I really don’t like name calling especially by our own. No one hurts us like we hurt us. I understand the frustration of watching and dealing with those still not awake and our lost brothers and sister. However, calling them names is like putting them under a deeper and deeper sleep spell. Words have a great power and can act upon the mind, body, spirit, soul, and so on. We as black people have a tremendous gift and power in our voice and every singer wants to sound black, everyone listens to black music, when the white media wants to see something they use black voice and music even for their own act of procreation. So, calling our brothers and sisters our of their name with our voice, or even our written words is casting a strong spell over them. This is one of the reasons why we of all people must be careful in how we address our people in particular. It is one of the reasons also why white get upset when we tell them the truth about them. There was a reason why they didn’t want us to come together and speak the words. We can kill them and make them powerless with our words when we act in unison.

    However, until we learn how not to tear at each other in hurt, anger, frustration, and misplaced hate. I’m sad to say that yeah there will be fighting. As we do not realize we are casting hurtful spells. Our people at one time got together and said chants that killed wp and wp knew this and killed anyone who they though had this knowledge. We forgot how to call our ancestors back to help us fight and we forgot that at one time words were never just thrown around. Great thought and care was given to how we spoke to each other and outsiders. This is lost and we are rubbed by harsh words no matter how well intended cause friction at this junction in time. Now that said Negress, I know I am going to get some major blow back for saying all of this as some will not understand that I am not say not to go hard and make your point, but be aware that your words are strong and can cast spells and hurt those that you are not intending to catch in your line of fire.

    We think we know our power yet, we don’t understand it. Our words are so powerful that we are the only people who are killed for what we say. We are brutalized when we speak the truth. Why?….

  107. verbs2012 on said:

    Well, at the end of the day nobody here could accuse me of being a liar. You may not like my delivery of the information but nether the less, the facts are the facts.

    From this discussion I can clearly see that honesty is a big issue among many black women. A few characters would rather embrace lies rather than be upfront and honest but thankfully they are in the minority.

    Black people have been navel gazing, ignoring and skirting around the major issues in our community for a very long time, it is no surprise that things have remained the same, in fact the black community today is rushing backwards. I really have to wonder whether our people are serious about real change.

  108. honeytreebee on said:

    verbs2012

    I must admit that I have not read up on the black feminist movement and so can not offer much comment on that. However, living in this white system it would not surprise me at all if, there were some BW that behaved that way. Just like when I learned that there were some black panther men not the rank and file, but the leaders who denigrated black women and took up with white women. It is not to say that it was not hurtful just not surprising given the system we live in. So while I do not have any knowledge of what you speak regarding BW in the feminist movement it would not surprise me that this is true. It will hurt just as much to know that BW have treated BM poorly and have participated in any way in keeping BM from being who they are to be.

    What I do know of is that under slavery and in the Willie Lynch papers the male and female roles were dictated according to what wp see them as. The roles had been reversed and placed upon us. These papers show how our nature to protect our children were used against us and point to how both young boys and girls were to be warped. Young men were not allowed to protect women making him feel powerless to protect and nurture what is most precious and sacred to a man. Women were placed in a position of fear for their sons with the only viable way of protecting him was to make him look as harmless and powerless as possible. By doing this what may have started off as a way to protect the young turned into a destructive and hurtful thing.

    Behavior is passed on and in so doing so is the dysfunction in how we are function with each other is evident in both male and female behavior. Hence, this talk about wearing strange hair on our heads. Wearing wigs do go back to Egyptian times,but I bet they were African wigs made to look like African hair for by and from African people. I know I’m most likely gonna hear it, but it is my opinion that we are at a place where BW wearing hair of anyone else on their heads is a no no. The European look for BW is beyond sad as when you try to emulate someone else you are always a day late and a dollar shot. It is damaging not only to them, but to little black girls who rarely get to see black women loving themselves and accepting their own special beauty. This is why they can show films of little black girls wanting and liking white dolls and such. This is also why I am excited that I see more and more BW wearing their natural hair. Relaxer and fake hair sales are down almost 50% this is good news. Perhaps this behavior of want our African look will be passed on. We can only hope.

    You said “Any systems that are unnatural begin to crumble and fall apart over time, we are currently witnessing this with the European man’s system of Babylon. Within this crumbling system the authority of the black woman over the black man is also beginning to fall apart, naturally so, this was always going to be the inevitable outcome of this artificial construct he has put in place.” I will be happy for the end of this system and the massive unnatural strain it has put on all of us. I get giddy thinking about just being without all of the hassle this system has put on us. I have no problems with BM being in charge and head of the family, nation, whatever. I think what most BW are concerned about is what will be their place in all of this. You see BW have been left on their own for so long even enlightened sisters don’t know what this would look like. So, yeah they think to what is evidence before them with other nations that are stifling to women. They remember these things because so much of our own history is lost to us. African men were not known to stop women from achieving and having education, business, and such. I could elaborate, but Verb would you be so kind as to elaborate on this.

    Verb you say BW should have wised up to this a long time ago. So should we all have collectively. Yet here we are today all we can do is learn our story together, heal and move forward together in unity. We BW need to learn new ways in raising our children and BM need to be present in the home or co-parenting their children. You said, even in nature it is unnatural for a male to be under a female. I agree like with elephants when young males go wild they bring in older males to get them to change their behavior and not trample the herd. I think the same hold true for young BM. Like with Malcolm only another black man can show the way. I think the same holds true for women it takes another woman to show the way. Unfortunately, our supple of elders qualified to do the job is not that deep. Another short coming of this system we are forced to deal with. You being a BM are in a unique position to share with us things that you think might be helpful in corrective this problem. I hope you take the time to share with us.

    This is getting long so I’ll close up shortly. I just wanted to say that your post sound frustrated and angry at our current state. I understand and often feel the same way often. Many will mistake your this for many things and I do not want to place words in you mouth, but I know when I feel this way it is because I care so much it hurts. Verb you have said a lot about how BW have mistreated BM and have played a hand in their oppression I can not say I know of this first hand though I do not doubt you. As I think that when someone says I see racism we should not doubt them even if, we do not see it right away as we are so saturated in this mess it is hard to see all of it all of the time.

  109. If Black women cared as much about their weight as they do their hair, then we’d really be on to something in the Black community

    So let’s have natural/healthy weight go with our natural hair.

  110. I agree with you. I don’t agree with wearing weave either but I will not name call or be little them. Some people will name call and assume others will go along with it because they are against it as well. It reminds me of when i go to some websites and some blacks will be calling each other monkey because the person is being rude or has done something negative.White people know the power of words that is why we have rappers like lil wayne degrading us. My parents always told me to be a light to people and not shove my beliefs down their throat but be an example then they will look at you and think wow that person is different i want that peace,love and respect they have. Its how the gang members recruit people they get the vulnerable youth that come from dsyfunctional homes and they see the gang as a functioning family. So we need to have our action speak for us not just our words.We need to show the lost people the way and encourage them to join us,not shame them into joining.

  111. mstoogood4yall on said:

    I do agree with you verbs it was just the way you said things.I like the truth but you catch more flies with honey.Also you can’t talk to a lot of women the way you are blunt and talk to men.With a man you can say bro you gettin fat lay off the chips and he will take it and not be offended,you cant do the same to women because what we hear affects us whearas with men its what they see.This hair issue is small compared to the real major ones such as out of wedlock births,obesity,black youth getting killed etc.

  112. emile on said:

    @phoebeprunelle:

    Thanks for the great stats and pertinent articles which reaffirm the positive vibe of the topic at hand. That is why I “choose” to focus upon the economic and cultural facets of the discussion rather than the anticipated divisive commentary. As Mr. Fuller has stated, we should do less criticizing of each other since in totality we all come up short as vulnerable in the SOR (mistreatment). From an economic perspective, I’d rather place emphasis on this area of people activity as a challenge to all of us to provide more participation in the process of producing solutions to the problem, whether as a business-owner, hair product developer, consumer or having direct interests. The non-Black businesses who are dependent upon Black female consumers don’t want this type of business intelligence dispersed within this segment of the consumer market, simply because it would hurt their profits and impede their renewed business plans and marketing programs to re-capture/sustain Black female consumer dollars, which are extremely vital to their profitability. This is one area where we tend to get lost and become reactive with non-constructive rhetoric instead of becoming pro-active with competing interests.

    As the Huff Post article has shown, there will be a renewed interest in catering to the curly/natural dress of Black hair care customers. Again, this is where Black women can make a huge impact in withholding their consumer dollars and re-directing them toward supporting Black-owned hair care businesses and related associations, which would create wealth and more opportunities for the Black female hair care market. We have to look at these issues from a business perspective more than just reacting to what has been done/being done to us.

    As for the gender war, it is completely irrelevant in this instance, nor should we fall for the machinated division imposed by outside sources. Since we “know” that this is a tactic used to create derision and spite between perpetually healthy Black relationships, we shouldn’t fall so easily for such traps that get us into a deeper hole.

    “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” – General Colin Powell.

  113. verbs2012 on said:

    On the contrary, what you have just experienced is the natural tone and authority that a black man is supposed to speak in regardless of who is being addressed, however because a large majority of black men have been raised by single mothers, most black men have been emasculated and as a result this normal ability has been weaned out of them and has thus become a rare sight.

    The black man has been typically raised and taught by the black woman to speak and address others as a woman, not as he ought to in the fashion of a man. This is why a few women here took offence, they have never been addressed in this manner before, it is not something that they are used to, however it is the normal conduct of a man and anything less than this is effeminate and emasculate.

    The weave issue is not to be looked upon lightly because unlike all of the other issues that you have mentioned, none of them involve the attempt to physically alter one’s appearance in order to resemble a complete different nation of people. The black woman has placed her entire confidence in an artificial construct that she has decided to place on her head, this is completely loco and insane behaviour, there is no other way to put it.

    Black women have to address this issue if they wish to bring restitution to themselves and skirting, ducking, weaving around the issue and being nice about it is not improving the position of black women, this is typically what white people do.

    As I stated before, the weave is simply an extension of the psychologically dysfunctional and damaged mind of the black woman. If the black woman truly wishes to begin the restoration process in order to manifest genuine change, she is going to have to first remove that apparatus from her cranium.

  114. darqbeauty on said:

    I am SO over this thread. Verbs, you are just being rude at this point. Speaking to someone in a condescending manner is not being manly. It is being rude. I’m going over to the gardening thread where the male hatred is less venomous. I mean damn. Black women can’t win for shit. You have a baby and are unwed, well fuck you. You have a job and have gone to college? Well fuck you twice for being educated. Dammed if you do, damned if you don’t.

    Even Malcolm gets it. This shit is getting old. Real fast. That’s why I don’t even go down that gender war road. It’s divisive and those who engage in it are never happy. If some people hate Black women that damn much, no matter what we do, then fuck them. Follow The Most High because these men are in error just like everyone else, walking around like their shit doesn’t stink. *scoff*
    DarqBeauty OUT.

  115. verbs2012 on said:

    I see what it is now, many you black women simply don’t want black men to be men. I will continue to speak directly and plainly, if you want your emotions tickled then pick up a children’s story book or watch your favourite television show Scandal.

    Most black women simply behave like spoilt brat children and this response is typical of that. If you are offended then tough, get over it, you are supposed to be a grown up.

  116. darqbeauty on said:

    First of all Verbs, I don’t watch a device that puts you into a mildly hypnotic trance while giving you a “program” to watch. Instead of being offended, why not just take a step back. It just MIGHT be possible that you ware wrong. Not in your message, but your delivery. Or will you never be wrong because the upset is coming from females, Verbs? Both males AND females have come at you about the TONE of your message, not the message itself. At this point, I would wonder if perhaps, I was the one in the wrong. I have been wrong before and there is no shame in admitting it. However, I would never engage in this type of rhetoric because I don’t believe that my shit smells like roses while men’s shit stink. Israel’s shit stinks to high heaven and you KNOW it Verbs. You can’t sit there on your high horse pointing out Black women like we are The Enemy Satan himself. Nor can Black women do the same. Anyone who doesn’t get that is a lost cause in my book and part of the problem and not the solution.
    I walk BY MYSELF with the Most High. I thought it was sinners who needed understanding most, Verbs. Why did you forget that? DID you forget that? If Yashua were here now, Verbs who would He be hanging out with? The lofty minded? Or the very kinds of women you find despicable and irredeemable. Sorry, but my hope for my people will reside in me till the END. I wish for no one to perish. Not our men and certainly not our women. Nor do I take perverse joy out of pointing out the faults in others. Do you hear me, Verbs? Or are you so offended and up in arms about being on the defense that you can’t hear anything but the blood rushing around your ears?
    1 Corinthians 13:4
    “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant.”

    We are up in arms because you are acting like you do not love your women. Because you see your women as the enemy. I am not your enemy, nor any woman on this thread. Remember what I said on the other blog. Your blog Verbs? That your message is not being seen by the women you want it to be seen by. It is seen by the women who are awake. Because only awake women and men visit these kinds of blogs. The righteous who are caught in the crosshairs of your wrath. If you are not understanding these words, then perhaps you should pray for direction. Maybe the Most High will grace you with understanding. Or tell you that we are all lost causes. I don’t know because I am not He. I am just over the unfounded hatred.
    On a side note, my grandmother wears wigs. She was indoctrinated at an early age to hate herself. She also worked her fingers to the bone to send her children to college as the first in their families to ever go to college. She is extremely light skinned yet beat into her children’s head that the pale man sees us ALL as niggers. She raised 8 children alone because her husband decided that he wanted to move to New York with a white woman. She was left in charge because she had no choice. She was beaten by my grandfather and STILL stuck in there. The Most High seeks THE HEART. Not is what on top of someone’s head. I was one of those weave wearing women at one point and let me tell you, I can across the Hebrew Israelites and a video of a brother telling Black women in a POSITIVE manner why we shouldn’t wear weaves. It resonated with me and made me feel so good as a person. After I had been in the truth for a while, I saw a GMS video of them calling this Black woman a “bitch and a whore” and talking about how they “couldn’t wait to lay down with women of other nations”. Who sounded the most righteous? How many sisters came to the truth only to be turned away because of the hatred? If I had heard that second message FIRST, I would have continued on my worldly path. You can get the truth across without being offensive. The truth should be shouted from the mountain tops. But the truth shouldn’t alienate the very people it was made to help. Once again, didn’t Yeshua come here to save the sinners not the saints? If He was here, he’d be in weave central showing women the better way, not castigating them.
    Thank Yah for the Bible, or Black women would be alone truly and indeed. That’s all I have to say on the subject. I am over this thread and am going to the gardening thread. This has done nothing to edify our people and was pointless to me. You will find me where we can do positive change. And this thread ain’t it. Cause DarqBeauty is QUICK to bounce out and never come back to a place. Later brother. Hope you took this message with understanding and not anger. I like the fruits of my spirit to bring forth positive fruits…and the land in this thread is barren.
    *poof*

  117. THE ALCHEMIST on said:

    @Verb2012

    Thank You. You commented just the way I hoped you would. You revealed your true self everyone on this thread. There are ten miles of psychic space between you and the likes of Malcolm X, Amos Wilson, Khalid Muhammad, etc.

  118. ATTENTION:

    THIS THREAD IS NOW CLOSED FOR DISCUSSION

  119. Tyrone on said:

    @verbs2012

    As blackmen, we must never lose sight of the fact that self-hating blackmen helped whitemen enslave us. Our anger should always be focused on blackmen that fall short, not blackwomen. If a sista does not love herself, we have failed her as a race of men…her father, grandfather, brother, uncle, cousin, boyfriend, husband, etc. Blackwomen come out of the womb loving themselves. It’s society, not them, that attack black womanhood. I understand your anger and frustration, but, no blackman on this planet should place himself above his black sisters. Sistas are the earth, brothas are the sun. As long as our light is shining bright, sistas are sustained in every aspect. I don’t want blackwomen to be disappointed in me, dislike me, hate me, fear me, and so forth. I humble myself in the prescence of all sistas…refined and not so refined alike. Brotha, never speak ill of your mother, you’re cursing yourself. A blackwoman gave you life, Never Forget That! Let no man or woman come between you and your reflection. Sistas are not the problem, they love us naturally and willingly. Blackmen must get right with blackwomen. God is punishing us because we have forsaken our role as defenders and champions of black womanhood…Bottomline! I don’t care what other folks say about us, don’t affect me one way or the other. I’m fully aware that others want me to turn on blackwomen, not gonna happen. My father and grandfather would jack my black a** up so fast, Believe That! Verbs, get on your knees and thank God for blessing you to be a blackman and blessing you with the blackwoman as well. A lot of men that don’t look like us would kill to be in our shoes, Why? Ya’ll know the answer to that question?

    Ty

  120. Tyrone on said:

    @Mz. Nikki

    Who’s the real woman in the discussion? Blackwomen focus on one aspect of their phenotype, on the other hand, whitewomen are all over the map. From my vantage point, whitewomen have more hangups about their beauty than blackwomen. But, white media thinks black consumers of news and entertainment are unaware of what they see in media. Whitewomen obsess over aging, tanning, lip injections, nose jobs, breasts implants, butt implants, botox, etc. If anything, sistas should point the dirty fingers of white folk back at themselves. Again, insecure blackmen are the guilty party. As with a lot of foul ish, Cali is the genesis of our destruction in this country. If it’s bad for our race, it came out of Cali more often than not…swirlness, drugs, gangs, violence, self-hatred, and the like. In order to fix a problem, you must deal with the starting point(source). What racist platform is in Cali? Hollyweird, of course. Remember sistas, entertainment is how they infect us. Black folk are not at home watching C-SPAN on a daily basis. Black youth are viewing tv programs and reading blogs that are filled with less than honorary blackmen and blackwomen as well. Attacking the hair choices of blackwomen is backwards thinking. Brothas should be focused on loving and respecting their better half, not raking them over the coals for bowing to pressure within a white dominated society. Whitemen and Blackmen have equal blame in this foolishness. I’m more concerned with what’s in a sista’s head versus what is on top. I’ve met sistas with naturals who fell short as well…Tighten Up! The main point, we must support those in our race that love us…The Struggle Continues!

    Ty

  121. anonymous on said:

    I thought this was interesting.

  122. SMH, I am a Black woman and I am very disguised at these sellout coon Black women! They are terrible elevating and paying more attention to White men than to you!

    Black women wear weave to impress themselves and to attract men especially Black men.

    Only a sellout Black women loves and prefers White men over their own men. I know I prefer my own men!

  123. Exactly! .

  124. @Tyrone, thanks for your insight (and being the 1rst respondent on here polite enough to respond). I always enjoy reading your posts, and as usual you raised some very valid points about the nexus of Hollyweirdness, and its’ unfortunate, yet profound effects on POC especially those that are dark complexion. That being said, I also find that not only is this true throughout Southern Cali, but it’s other major city San Francisco is no exception to this rule, either! Quite frankly, I have witnessed a lot of stupidity and self-hate from both North and South Cal, respectively! ; )

  125. Blacq on said:

    Ty:

    What you state is so true. Not to put-down to anyone, but realize…brothers are being brain-washed about the fake hair issue as much as sistas are. My background involves seeing several THOUSAND people on a daily basis. 9 out of 10 sistas are “weaved up.” With every color unter the rainbow. Honestly, each time that I see a weave-queen? I inwardly CRINGE. Brothers are being brain-washed in that “after awhile it becomes a part of their thinking that this FAKE hair IS our culture. Any social scientist would tell you that in our black dynamic, there ARE many single, head of home mothers out there….with SONS. And their sons….I’ll let you take it from there. “Rest in peace, Black Amerikka” if WE don’t get OUR act together.”

  126. Mickey on said:

    One of my colleagues wears a weave. She is a good-looking dark-skinned woman and she wears a very long weave and she wears it partly because she likes long hair, but also because her boyfriend loves long hair as well. She said that she will wear the weave as long as he pays for it.

  127. tonia682 on said:

    The black women who are relaxed/weaved have taken to calling natural women “natural nazis” when we extol the benefits of being natural.

  128. mswanda on said:

    That’s because they are.

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