The Double Standard
… As I see it black women aren’t marring outside of their race in vast numbers. We are waiting at the expense of never having a man or looking outside of the country. I know a sista who will go walking in a mall with a white guy from her work and she get these brothas who 1/2 the time are with white or Asian women, will find a way to come up to her and ask her what she is doing with that white man? They’ll be all up in her face and trying to talk to her the minute they see her. So even though black men date out, they do not like it when black women do. —- Honeytreebee
The universe and its melaninated peoples are now more in sync than ever. 2013 marked a new awakening for those of us that can “see.” We are saying the same things word for word, having the same conversations from all over the globe, wondering about the same issues and constantly asking, “What’s going on?”
When I read the comment posted above, I smiled to myself. Not because it was funny but because I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine about this uncomfortable topic. She told me of many, many, many sisters that are just fed up of the Double Standard that we (black women) face in regards to interracial relationships and are no longer waiting for a “good black man” to marry. They been deceived, heartbroken and disappointed too many times and have decided to find “love, respect and affection” (her words) outside of their race.
Why is it that only black males are allowed and even encouraged to fornicate, marry and spawn with white women (and any other woman for that matter) and expect the black woman to “understand his nature” and “put up with it” and “take him back”, but when she imitates his behaviour, mostly out of frustration and disenfranchisement, and has a white husband or lover, he becomes irate, demands an explanation and berates her for her betrayal of their race?
That was the gist of our discussion and she really laid it down for me.
“Truth, I’m tellin’ ya, they’ve been doing this shit since the plantation. In fact, when miscegenation laws were removed, that was the first thing they did…seek out the white woman…I mean, even white people notice it.”
I listened and cringed as she spoke her mind quite harshly, only interrupting her to remind her that the black woman’s role was to be the glue that held the family together. She cut me off.
“What what about the his role, dammit?”
This topic will no doubt be inflammatory and painful so I’m asking the black family to be mindful of words which have the power to hurt us all.