Underneath my blackness, lives a visitor
She is The Pale Horse
She whispers to me “Nigger…get back! You’ll never make it!”
I close my eyes
pull at my brain…make her stop…Pleeeeeeeease!
I wanna be in peace and live in ease
But she cackles her deathly grin and sneers
“I’ll never leave. I’m here to stay. You’re stuck with me, I’ll never go away.”
So I run nowhere with quickened feet
Only to embrace my imminent defeat
Scream with no voice
Cry with no tears
Sleep while awake
I’ve done this for years
Accomplishments forsaken with a dirty glance in the mirror
Her reflection stares arrogantly at me
“Told ya. You see?”
I call upon the ancestors for strength and I win…sometimes
But I’m tired… worn out…immobile… atrophy has set in
May I sleep forever?
Will I smile never?
Too much to be done all at once
How do I rid myself of my unwanted roommate?
She’s here to stay
As she says, “I’ll never go away.”