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diaryofanegress

Observations of an Invisible Woman

The White “Love” Dynamic

 

 

 

 

Since I am invisible, I can observe the European’s love relationship without them even being aware of it. I’ve watched, up close, the interactions between the two and how they differ from us. The white couple is based on logic. He, needing a white partner who will make him look good, fulfill him sexually and will be subservient, will seek a woman who he feels will provide him with the domestic and ego driven necessities of life.

She, needing to be taken care of, will seek a partner who will fulfill her needs of financial security and physical flattery. For them, this “logic” equals love.

Since the white man has always considered the white woman to be:

1. A victim of his lust

2. Property to be traded i.e. a dowry

And the white woman has always considered the white man to be:

1. Her perpetrator

2. Her saviour

It can be said that the white couple is filled with contempt, competitiveness and confusion in dealing with one another. Lacking true emotional and spiritual awareness, their lives are filled with objects that they substitute for real connection. It is through that objectification that emptiness thrives. Mammon plays a large role in their dynamic. He serves as a catalyst for their alleged attraction for one another. The white woman quickly learns from childhood that tears are her best bargaining tool. Her sexuality, as she ages, is a close second. She uses deception and coercion to obtain her desires from the first man in her life…her father. It is through her relationship with him that she strengthens her skills.

By the time the white woman is an adult, she is an expert at the fine art of deception. The white man falls for her beauty, for he is no match for her practiced feminine wiles. It is through that deception that their relationships flourishes. The white man is taught from birth of his power. He quickly understands the privilege that white skin gives him. Coddled by his mother and groomed by his father to be become “a winner”, by the time he becomes an adolescent, he is filled with deep insecurity and a driving, inane need for control. The white man will never enter a game in which he cannot win. For him, money will buy him the love of the white woman. In this partnership where both parties enter with secret expectations of one another, failure and adultery is eminent.

In the matters of child rearing, the white couple is rendered powerless at the needs of a child. Never having true intimacy or loving discipline with their own parents, they turn to self-help books and mammies when faced with the normal and sometimes boisterous behaviour of their children. Running a domestic affair proves to be overwhelming for the white couple and child-abuse and child murder is evident throughout their history.

While the white man/white woman can express love for one another at times, that emotion is quickly usurped when life does not go according to plan. Without the strong bond based on true emotion, they flail in the wind, uncertain of which way to go in the face of death, unemployment, depression, mid-life aging, envy and adultery. When faced with problems that the average black person faces daily, the white couple will quickly unravel. It is then when thoughts of suicide and murder emerges.

Since the white man /white woman begins their relationship with artificial means, is it really a wonder why deviant behavior ensues? Is it also a wonder why both seek out the emotionally and spiritually centered passionate African in the form of an illicit affair for fulfillment? Although much can be said and written about the controlled lives of the white man/ white woman, I’ve noticed these patterns most often.

What are your thoughts? Have you noticed something similar/ different?

I will leave this up for a few days so you can debate as you wish.

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35 thoughts on “The White “Love” Dynamic

  1. True to your aim and goals you are studying them,may your contributions assist us (black and brown people) in becoming free of their aggression.

  2. @ Mbeti

    When I had a bout of madness, I decided to go to the root. And I mean the deep root cause of everything.

    When I learned of how the European relates to one another, is it really a shock that they despise us?

  3. mary burrell on said:

    I noticed when it comes o child rearing they have different ways of parenting. I noticed that their children can be disrespectful and they seem to not know what to do with their offspring.

  4. @ Mary

    Not only don’t they know what to do with children, they are clueless with discipline.

  5. most welcome, thank you for honest and creative blog. very refreshing, needs to be shared widely 😉

  6. “While the white man/white woman can express love for one another at times, that emotion is quickly usurped when life does not go according to plan. Without the strong bond based on true emotion, they flail in the wind, uncertain of which way to go in the face of death, unemployment, depression, mid-life aging, envy and adultery. When faced with problems that the average black person faces daily, the white couple will quickly unravel. It is then when thoughts of suicide and murder emerges.”

    You pretty much summed it up there. I think that’s the major difference between us and them. They unravel too easy under pressure. They can’t handle the daily struggles we deal with in a racist society.

  7. @ Prince

    Being protected in a white coating prevents them from having emotional strength.

  8. So what do you think about the Knight and Damsel in Distress fairy tale as that is a model of what LOVE is in European Society??

  9. @ Wilson

    Good question!

    The Knight saves the Damsel from evil and she is indebted to him for all eternity. She then becomes his “property.” Of course, she is stunningly pretty and utterly helpless. Independent, homely, fat women aren’t worth “saving.”

    Her role in ALL films and fairytales is to reinforce the Knights heterosexuality.

    What this does to the white female child is remind her that beauty comes first.
    What this does to the white male child is reinforce dominant male behaviour.

  10. mary burrell on said:

    Another observation My mother and father always pointed out. Black people can face opposition in life and keep going, Because we were brought here in struggle and hard times. The white man not so much. When adversity comes their way the seem to take the coward’s way out. They kill the family and the pets and then take themselves out. Money is the driving force that keeps them together. I’ve had white co workers in the past say. “oh my God Mary you are poor. ” I could never live like you with nothing. But I don’t have half the problems they have. Sure I could use more money, But I’m not losing my mind behind some wayward child slicing her arms. Some wild kid shoplifting and doing drugs. They want to talk about black people being losers and underachivers. Well I think there are just as many losers and under achievers with them. We can be poor and find a way to hook up our hair fix our clothes clean them up and look ten times better than them. Because when they are poor they look like hell. Other white people don’t want to acknowledge their existance. So black people are survivors.

  11. @ Miss Mary

    Well said.

  12. Would it be correct to say that sex is at the center of the Universe in European Love? Sex and Possession.

    Here is a question for you.

    What is life if you can’t afford yourself some of the delights it has to offer? As they day, some of the guilty pleasures.

    I think that in the European Point of View, the world is there for them and maybe in other traditional people’s point of view(which is changing) they are there for the world. Is this anywhere near accurate?

  13. @ Wilson

    Sex and Possession go hand in hand for most whites. With Mammon being the Catalyst for it all. Noone is saying don’t revel in pleasures… ever. The issues become problematic when the pleasures become the number one reason for living.

    For whites, the world is theirs. So is everyone in the world. Hence the need for domination. Hence the outlook that their way is the “right” way. Hence the need to impose their beliefs and ideologies on everyone.

  14. Lets talk about pleasure.

    It comes in different forms. You can be happy that someone else is happy. You can be happy due to harmony.

    “Guilty” Pleasures on the other hand are those things that require you to use “another” for the sake of your happiness. The other person or thing is not really an “equal” participant, it is more that they are there to give you pleasure or satisfy you in some way. You are happy because they do this. If they stop then you turn on them. The last point is important, if they fail to provide you with what you want, then you turn on them. This is why someone can go from being a lover to a “sl*t” as they like to call there women every now and again.

    What are your thoughts on this?

  15. @ Wilson

    The white relationship is based on benefits.
    If the man is being “serviced”, he is happy.
    If the woman is being benefited from the man, she is happy.

    It’s easy for them to turn against each other because theirs wasn’t a strong union to begin with. I’ve heard plenty of white males curse and abuse their women.

    When asked why she doesn’t leave, she asks me “Where am I to go?” As if, making it on your own is unfathomable.

  16. Quick question: Have you ever seen abuse involving white couples?

    I asked because this post reminds me of the time my sister, her husband and I went to a sports bar. He was teaching us how to play pool. At the pool table adjacent from us, I saw a white dude berating a white girl. At least it appeared that way. I didn’t know what he was saying, but this guy was all in her face.

  17. Yes. Verbal abuse in stores, on the phone, at the park, etc….

  18. If I didn’t know any better I would think you were a white women acting Black. Only because you seem to be in their heads.

    One thing we gotta remember when accessing white “love” is the cave. We gotta keep in mind that these people are cave people and all they do come out of that dynamic. Rather it be white men screwing whatever moves and that includes WHATEVER MOVES. That leaves the white women to roam around and look for something to do and I do mean something to DO!!

    I half joke because I honestly don’t know a lot about these people, but I think my Sista may have nailed that situation really well or atleast I’ll take her word for it.

  19. @ Jesus

    Studying whites is most interesting. They follow patterns.

  20. That is TRUE!!
    They absolutely can’t hit their kids. They think that’s totally evil. I think you have to hit kids sometimes, not battery just hit, some stern roughing up.

    Anyway, they can’t hit their kids, cause that’s so terrible but they love kicking their maladjusted, selfish, know nothing kids out at 18, after not disciplining them for a full 18 years, uh huh that makes sense – NOT!

  21. my comment was @Mary Burrell

  22. Negress

    Is there such a thing as “White Love” anyway? I don’t see any passion within the relationship. Neither party seems like they would die if the other didn’t exist anymore on this planet. Whitemen have spent the past 500 plus years chasing after black and brown women, and whitewomen have spent the past 200 plus years lusting after “Dark” men so to speak. The white male/female dynamic is a business relationship. Whitemen are not in love with whitewomen, but they still want them to birth white babies for their benefit. Whitewomen and their bodies lust for other men, but whitemen still have the money and power. So, they stick around because their white brothers can provide a comfortable lifestyle. If blackmen and other men of color were on equal footing with white males, whitewomen would have no reason to stay loyal to them. Blackmen wonder why it’s so hard to succeed in “Corporate America?” If the playing field is equal, black people excel above and beyond. A lot of blackmen overlook this aspect of white relations. And, the same holds true for blackwomen. Deep down, most whitewomen know that whitemen showed their true nature during slavery…the rape of african, amerindian, and asian women was not a one-time event. Colored women are what white males want, despite, the media machine on this planet telling us otherwise. Whitewomen know the truth, which explains all of the insecurity. They’re never good enuf for whitemen, no matter what they do. Are they too fat, too skinny, blonde, not blonde, too pale, too dark, youthful, too old, and so forth. Whitewomen seek validation from blackmen and other men because they’re not getting it from whitemen…Bottomline!

  23. @ Tyrone

    Damn good response. Yeah..slavery showed white men’s true nature.

  24. Ron Thomas on said:

    I sat on this one awhile, because it was one I had to think all the way through.

    Here’s my take. The majority of white relationships seem like business mergers to me. When I hear them talk about their relationships and their lives, it’s always sounded as if they were talking about running a business. There always seemed to be a balance sheet, or scorecard, with the emphasis on what they have, and what they want. Or what this man or woman could do for them or their status, or their…whatever was important at the time. I rarely heard the word love mentioned.
    I saw a lot of relationships and marriages begin because this person was “good for their image”, and end because They’re no longer good for my image.” Over the years I have worked with a great many different races, and I never saw that dynamic in any of the others.
    I do believe there is a minority of whites that DO love deeply, and do have relationships that don’t hinge on status and possessions, but they are so overwhelmed by the mass of those who are simply in it because “that’s what’s expected”, as to be invisible.

  25. @ Ron

    Yes…they do exist but it’s a small number of them according to my experience. And I’ve always noticed that for them, marriage must “make sense” financially for it to work.

  26. @Ron

    Why does this issue matter so much? If white men and women don’t love each other, they will spend all of their time annoying the hell out of black people. As blackmen, we want other men to have strong relationships with their women, which allows us to devote our time and energy to blackwomen. Black men and women have a lot of conflict right now because a certain percentage of white females are more infatuated with brothas than their own men…Bottomline!

    Tyrone

  27. Ty…on that topic of white females and their infatuation…did you hear about the new book by Victoria Hoyt called Save the Pearls?

  28. larissa on said:

    The rape of the black woman is by no means an indicator of the ”white man’s true colours”. Yes rape is a sexual act, but the rape of the black woman was about control, humiliation, subjugation, domination, keeping Africans in their place and the destruction of the black family. Whites knew that the destruction of the black family would keep blacks oppressed for eternity. Of course we must not forget that males were also raped. It was about rendering the black woman powerless, robbing her of her self respect and depriving her of her most basic human rights. She, unable to kill her victimizer, channelled all her rage and anguish unto her man and blamed him for having failed to carry out his ultimate role as her protector. He, also unable to kill the white man, channelled all his pain and anger towards his woman. No man can respect himself if he fails to protect his family. All this rage and anger drove a wedge between them and resulted in the destruction of the African race. It is known that many African slaves actively resisted, but if a woman is raped day after day there comes a point where her spirit is broken and she no longer has the strength to keep fighting. The black man’s self esteem and self respect plummeted because he constantly had to watch his mother, sister, wife be led to the cabin to be raped, knowing that he was able bodied and mentally sound, but could do nothing about it. It pains me to read that the rape of the black slave woman is a result of her superior beauty, because this belief derives something positive from a tragedy which had nothing positive whatosever. Hell, it is a tragedy that I currently have to express this pain that I feel in the language of my oppressor. I know I have rambled for long but this is a subject which is close to my heart, and I hope that others will reflect on their thoughts regarding the motives of the white rapist slavemaster and mistress (yes white women also raped slaves.) I think we owe it to our ancestors.

  29. “It was about rendering the black woman powerless, robbing her of her self respect and depriving her of her most basic human rights. She, unable to kill her victimizer, channelled all her rage and anguish unto her man and blamed him for having failed to carry out his ultimate role as her protector. He, also unable to kill the white man, channelled all his pain and anger towards his woman. No man can respect himself if he fails to protect his family. All this rage and anger drove a wedge between them and resulted in the destruction of the African race. It is known that many African slaves actively resisted, but if a woman is raped day after day there comes a point where her spirit is broken and she no longer has the strength to keep fighting. The black man’s self esteem and self respect plummeted because he constantly had to watch his mother, sister, wife be led to the cabin to be raped, knowing that he was able bodied and mentally sound, but could do nothing about it. It pains me to read that the rape of the black slave woman is a result of her superior beauty, because this belief derives something positive from a tragedy which had nothing positive whatosever. Hell, it is a tragedy that I currently have to express this pain that I feel in the language of my oppressor.”

    **********

    Therein lies much of the root cause of the current dysfunction or aka lack of strong bonds (relationship/respect) between MANY (not all) black men and black women – TODAY.

    We have much group/self healing – and organization – to accomplish, and not much time left to get it done!

  30. mary burrell on said:

    I got through reading Brother Matari’s comments. Always love his comments. But I will add this. There is a story i just discovered. on the website Awesome Stories.com. On it was a story called Celia, A Slave. This is a true account of a slavegirl in 1850. Purchased by a Robert Newsome. It is a description of what life is like in the year 1850 as a slave. Being someone’s property. This monster repeatedly raped and molested and abused this poor defenseless girl. She makes the decision,to defended herself and it ends up in him (Newsome) murdered. She is tried and found guilty and hung. I can understand the rage Truth Be Told feels sometimes. But reading the account of this story is in parallel to this thread. A woman back then, especially a black woman had no rights. Wasn’t even considered a human. Some white people just don’t want to acknowledge the atrocities of their ancestors. I think many of them fear we will retailiate and make them pay for the transgressions of their ancestors.

  31. larissa on said:

    @truth: thanks for educating me
    To all: reading your comments has taught me a great deal and has opened my mind. The time has come for me to say goodbye and best wishes to all.

  32. Mickey on said:

    It was not considered a crime to rape, sexually assault, or sexually harass slaves back then, socially or legally, since slaves were considered property and not human beings. White men even tried to say that it was impossible to rape a Black woman because Black women were “whores by nature” who are always ready & willing – and as the old saying goes, “you can;t rape the willing.”

  33. @ Larissa

    Good luck to you as well. I hope it works out for you. God Bless.

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