Black Vs Black…Female Against Male Part 1.
(The comments will be a bloody nightmare but let’s just do this.)
“Truth, I’m done with black men.” That was the statement uttered with certainty and utmost calm by my black co-worker. She, like myself, is an educated professional woman in medicine. She is a Chief Echocardiographer, no easy feat for a black woman; Ultra schooled, upper-middle class, owns her own home outright, confident and so damn attractive, you can’t help but stare at her, she’s quite a sight.
“Why?” I wanted to chuckle but seriousness of her tone told me to keep quiet. “What did they do?”
“Are you freakin’ kidding me? Look at them! No job. No ambition. Still living at home. And let’s be honest. Finding a black man on my level is going to be next to impossible. ”
I nodded slowly not knowing how to respond. What should I say? X, you’re being ridiculous? Black men have it twice as hard as we do so cut the brothers some slack? You’re a snob and your job and title has gone to your head? Black men with an education and position do exist because I’ve met them. Shut up now…you’re making all black women look bad?
“Besides”, she continued “Most educated black men have white women as girlfriends and wives.”
Here we go…
The dynamic between black man and black woman has been rooted in passionate love, domestic violence, self-realization, self-hate, fatherlessness, the euphoria of education and success, drug abuse, the Civil Rights Movement, moving into the status of “middle class” from the ghettoes, abandonment, childbirth/ child rearing, a white Jesus, the MEDIA and the black church ever since we came here from that little boat ride. That’s a lot to deal with! When all was said and done, we did the absolute unthinkable; we turned on each other.
Black men, propagandazied as monkeys, criminals, worthless, animals, unkempt and unfaithful, began to fall victim to the worst slavery of all…mental slavery. This is not an excuse for bad behaviour, but a study in why certain behaviours occur within our community.
In the recent decades, black women have risen in different areas of education. Today, black women are in fields that were traditionally made for white males. Since I do not believe anything written about us by whites, I will not quote statistics on college education and employment by gender. Not only does the black woman make the bread and butter but she is the matriach of her family. She tends to the kids homework, attends PTA meetings, cooks, does laundry and sexually services her man. Without her, the family unit suffers.
The black man, on the other hand, scrutinized and made to be “suspicious”, is often denied work no matter how qualified. Stereotyped as lazy and driven out of the workforce under the clever guise of a lay-off, he is under immense pressure. Implosion comes, unfortunately, when he finds no release for his angst, depression and anger.
This broke my heart. And made me weep when I heard sisters use this as an excuse to give up on our men.
This is my supposition as to why:
1. Black men are too damaged and not worth “fixing.”
2. They’re broke.
3. White men will wine and dine; black men are clueless when it comes to romance. For them is all about sex.
4. Her education/position/status brainwashes her into believing he’s not good enough for her.
5. She wants to elevate herself into middle / upper class status and a black man “won’t do it for her.”
6. He wants her to take care of him.
7. He’s abusive.
8. Other black men have failed her consistently and she’s not willing to try again.
9. She’s a golddigger and the fastest way to get to the top is with a white man at her side.
10. She’s happy with work, friends, God, hobbies and family and doesn’t need / want / care to be bothered.
Any thoughts? Do you agree/disagree? Why?