Observations of an Invisible Woman

The White Woman’s Best Accessory

I can keep going but you get the idea.

Frankly, I’m sick of it. Why are black children such a “hot commodity” with white women?

1. It’s a fad.

2. It’s great way to get attention and further your career.

3. They’ll appear “less racist” by raising a black baby.

Of course this hurts the black child in more ways than one:

1. By taking away the black/brown/yellow/red child from his/her Own Peoples, you confuse the child as to where they belong in reference to their race.

2. Since all white people are apart of the system of white supremacy, they risk mentally harming the Coloured child by placing them in an unsafe environment.

3. Who will teach the child about his/her culture with HONESTY? Who will teach him/her about the role whites play in their culture with HONESTY?

4. What will you say/do when the child is called a nigger for the first time?

5. How can a white person teach a Coloured child about black/brown/red/yellow pride?

Guys, I am adamant about this fad and frankly I’m insulted by it!

We’ve always been property in one way or another. This…this is just too much for me. Yes, yes, I know that there are many of you who will cry and scream about love being the only thing that matters but this is me you’re talking to. Get real.

What are your thoughts?

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68 thoughts on “The White Woman’s Best Accessory

  1. Mickey on said:

    I do not know a whole lot about transracial adoption, but you do bring up some valid points. Yes, love is a major factor in raising a child regardless of color, but, as you said, what can White parents of non-White children do to make sure their child knows all of the positive aspects of their race or culture.Like you said, they are still living under the umbrella of White supremacy.

    Oh, an don’t forget Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michelle Pfeiffer, & Steven Spielberg. Though Michelle & Steven both adopted children of color long before it became popular.

  2. @ Mickey

    I’ve always wondered why a white family would adopt a black child. Sorry to sound uncaring but if these white women really cared about the child why not help the mother keep the child?

    lord knows they have enough money to do so.

  3. SomeGuy on said:

    I don’t think it’s a fad. It takes a lot of money, time and attention to raise a child. I doubt any sane person would adopt a Black child simply as a “fad” or to help her career. It may be a symptom of White Guilt.

  4. ynotme on said:

    I think it’s all part of creating a larger Black Anglo-Saxon population. These white parents will probably teach these children not to see themselves as blacks or to hate blacks. This is probably just a part of the white supremacist agenda. Also, why do so many of them need to go to a third world country to adopt a black child when there are so many disenfranchise/poverty stricken black children in the United States?

  5. I agree with what you are saying to some degree, but at the same time if they are not being adopted by the blacks then it is better for these children to be raised in a home regardless of the race of the parent.

  6. Kushite Prince on said:

    I think they want to raise more white-identified black children. It’s all part of the plan at large. I don’t trust these celebs. I know the sick rituals they do. They fool everyone with their glitter and glamour. I’m not fooled or impressed. I pray for those children.

  7. @ Everyone:

    Ponder this:

    You have all the money, fame and power in the world.
    Why not build a charter school, along with scholarships and job interns for poor black children? Why not give them a future within their own community so they may one day grow up and help other disenfranchised blacks youths to break that cycle?

    Why fly to a third world country, adopt a black baby, put it on the front page of a magazine for the world to see?

    My WhiteySense is tingling.

    I don’t think that this is kosher, at all.

  8. Kushite Prince on said:

    Agree 100%! It’s all an act. They want to show the world that they’re kind and loving people. Despite the fact that everywhere the Europeans go they spread disease,death,colonization,stealing resources and spreading a homosexual agenda. Please! Give me a break!

  9. Kushite Prince on said:

    Why do you think they use white celebs for their agenda? It’s because they know people are fans of their films and music. They know people are gullible enough to believe these people “care” just because they’re talented in their fields. Think about this,Angelina Jolie is an UN Ambassador. And we KNOW what the UN is trying to do worldwide. Also she’s a member of the Council on Foreign Relations(CFR). That groups whole purpose is a new world order to spread more poverty in countries where black/brown people live. George Clooney and singer Bono also work with the UN. And they’re both always in Africa, Need I say more?

  10. Nope, Your Highness…you’ve explained it beautifully.

  11. ynotme on said:

    I’ve always wondered why a white family would adopt a black child. Sorry to sound uncaring but if these white women really cared about the child why not help the mother keep the child?

    Excellent point!

  12. Kushite Prince on said:

    Thank you Queen. I’ll be gone for about a week or so. I’m going to my family reunion,so you wont see any activity on my blog for awhile. I catch my flight tonight. But I’ll be back. Take care and keep spreading the knowledge. 🙂

  13. Have a safe trip!

  14. Yeah…….

    Even with the best intentions, I’m not totally sold on celebrities doing this. They could have done it with children in America. No. They go overseas where kids would have to become acclimated to a different culture and way of thinking.

    Which begs the question: what will they teach these children about race? Will they have them watching Hidden Colors? LOL….

    Uhm….as good as it “looks”, it will always be an issue. Intentional or not.

  15. Mickey on said:

    The only one that adopted a Black child domestically is Sandra Bullock. Her son is from New Orleans. As for Nicole Kidman’s adopted son, Connor, I do not know his origin, though I have always assumed his origin to be American. But that makes me also wonder, what is wrong with American Black children? Are the adoption rules stricter here than abroad or something?

  16. SomeGuy on said:

    Oh, I don’t think that it’s kosher; I just don’t think that it’s a fad. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what the deal is.

  17. Mickey and Darc:
    Because something’s up. AmeriKlan doesn’t want black kids adopted.

  18. mary burrell on said:

    My problem with this is if you are going to adopt black children make sure you learn about black culture and teach them about being proud to be black. Learn how to groom said black children’s hair. Angelina and Brad Pitt infuriate me, For them to be A list celebrities and Zahara is not groomed, At least hire some black people to care for these children’s appearance. Maddona’s son looks shabby as well. I think Sandra Bullock does a good job keep her baby looking presentable. There is a popular Nigerian actor the brother that played the character Mr. Echo on lost, Is making a film about being raised by white people in England and he was psychologically confused, His story is worth checking out if you get the chance. The white family that adopted him were just clueless, He mentions that they did’nt know how to groom them did’nt bother to learn about the culture of African people. He even goes on to say he thought he was white. There was alot of psychological damage going on inside this brothers’s psyche. He stated that he was just now getting straight. I just hope thses celebrities are sincere in just wanting to love a child.

  19. Thanks Miss Mary. Do you know the name of the movie or the actor?

  20. mary burrell on said:

    I will look it up for you. He is a beautiful black man. He Played Mr. Echo On the series Lost. I even think he was on the wire.

  21. mary burrell on said:

    His name is Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje.

  22. Great! Thank you I’ll look up his movie.

  23. mary burrell on said:

    Sister Truth he developing a screenplay for Sundance London. You can check out The Indiewire Shadow & Act blogspot.

  24. leigh204 on said:

    @ DOAN:

    I know several adoptees of Asian descent and three out of the four acknowledge their white parents didn’t know how to deal with them while growing up. Here is an example of an adoptee who felt her white mother didn’t understand what she was going through. You can feel her pain. I think this applies to a lot of adoptees of different races who have white people as parents.

  25. A lot of white women might find this offensive, but I honestly couldn’t agree with you more!

  26. Tyrone on said:


    I’m amazed at liberal whitewomen in hollywood adopting black babies. The same group of whitewomen support the notion of blackwomen aborting their brown babies at the same time. Any black person or white person that highlights the fact that Planned Parenthood targets poor blackwomen are called racist, sexist, etc. Sista, i agree with your point about whites wanting to turn their black children into (Black Anglo-Saxons). Whites know that they can’t be black, but, they can have control and influence over certain segments of the black population at the same time. Whitewomen are obsessed with blackwomen, i’m not shocked that women like Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and Charlize Theron would adopt black babies. Jolie thinks she’s a sista, Madonna likes brothas, Theron is in the (Swirl Closet) so to speak. She’s not fooling anybody…South African native…Apartheid…Big Obama Supporter, etc.


  27. Leigh:

    I knew a girl in school from China who was adopted by a WASP family. She confided in me that her family “reminded” her that if they had never “saved” her, the Chinese government would have killed her because they hate girls over there.

    You saw and felt her shame, pain and anger and RESENTMENT.

    I’ve said this so many times I feel like a broken record….
    Everything that whites touch, they DESTROY.

  28. In my opinion these beckys are adopting non-white children because they see them as their pets or sexual toys. Also that way they can best practice their favorite activity which is : racism/terrorism. For example last year I saw a little chinese girl with a racist female who was her adoptive mother. Well that little girl was wearing an interesting t-shirt. On that t-shirt it was written: “Made In China.” Like she was just an object or a toy…
    These trifling white terrorists see non-white children as their object to KKKontrol and to have power over.

  29. leigh204 on said:

    @ truthbetold/DOAN:

    When my adoptee friends were growing up, their white parents constantly reminded them how fortunate/blessed they were for being taken in when no one else wanted them. How horrible is that to say to a child?

  30. Fiamma on said:

    I don’t think that the little boy in the photo was meant to be a Negro accessory for Nicole Kidman…it’s been pointed out by others that the child bears a resemble to Tom Cruise, and may very well be his own biological son, which he *adopted*. The boy is in his teens now and the similarities between him and Tom are striking, especially their smiles, eye shape, body language and gait. Tom seems to be quite active in Connor’s life, and even got the boy a part playing Will Smith’s character as a child in the movie “Seven Pounds”. He and Will Smith are close friends.

    There are quite a few photos of Tom and Connor Cruise which can be found through a search on Google Images. Tom (and Nicole) also adopted a white girl, but she seems to stay in the background. I believe he adopted her so it wouldn’t look so strange with him adopting a Black kid out of the blue….

  31. I don’t think it’s better for these children to be raised in a white home. Also, there are Black people who do adopt Black children. They’re just not featured in the news most of the time. I know of at least three Black foster moms and one Black adoptive mother. I think more of us would adopt if we had the resources or if we didn’t spend so much time and money buying big houses and expensive cars.

    We need to prioritize within the Black community, instead of allowing whites to adopt our children.

  32. I am so jealous. Do they come in white? Further, I was wondering, would Ray J count as Kim’s “accessory”

  33. wilson on said:

    Maybe they want to save the kids… from there blackness, there history, poverty etc. White people in general have this thing about “Saving Humanity”…

    I assume once you get to a stage where money and recognition is no problem, you dabble in one or two “Just” causes. One thing i’ve discovered about such causes is that they make such interesting dinner conversational pieces…

    “Oh dear, you can’t believe how that orphanage was, the kids were so neglected… etc etc And I had the chance to meet the minister/president/mp etc of the country and you know what, he was telling me all these stories bla bla bla, oh yeah did I mention am reading this excellent book about raising a child from another race, I must say it’s the most insightful thing i’ve ever read… that and the book about what’s happening to the whales…”

  34. Mickey on said:

    It is called White Hero Complex.

  35. Tyrone on said:


    Whitewomen pick and choose when they want to love and respect black folk. The average black male is dangerous, and the average black female is threatening to them. But, if a whitewashed black male athlete happens to come their way, all of a sudden they love blackmen…the contradiction of whitewomen. The point that sistas overlook about WW, is that, they’re a means to an end for whitemen. All of the hype about them has been contrived from the start…Fish Bait! We focus soooo much attention on the lighter shade, losing sight of the fact that it’s about blackwomen and other women of color on this planet. Whitewomen see the writing on the wall, but it’s too late. They want to attach themselves to the black race because their beloved whiteman is not runnin’ ish anymore, which makes being with them pointless. They don’t love whitemen, but they’ve stuck around because of finance and lifestyle. Now that the well is drying up, they want to jump ship so to speak.


  36. Tyrone on said:


    Yes, Ray J and Lamar Odom are accesories for Kim K and Khloe K. Every whitewoman’s dream, a tall, dark, and handsome blackman to show off to their white girlfriends who desire the same…Awwwwww!

  37. Clearly, Khloe K gave Lamar something he had NEVER had before, sexually speaking. Sista’s I know require you put a ring on it FIRST, to get those kinda goodies!

  38. I don’t even wanna know what she did, lest I faint.

  39. I was thinking. THey should sell Africans in Hamley’s Make it be just like BAttersea Dog’s Home

    “I want that one
    “oh look at the curls
    “can we get on with a smaller nose

  40. I haven’t read the comments (sorry no time) but let me comment…

    This is a very American vision of things, and as such, extremely dichotomous. “Race” in the US is central. That country is all “black and white”. Never a middle. In your analysis you totally obliterate mixed couples and mixed children. Do you really think that what the US calls (what a horrible expression) “racially mixed” couples have no idea of what they will have to face raising their children. All the history that’s behind them, all the animosity from so many ? All the prejudice as who are those “black men marrying white”, “white woman looking for black”, etc… How horrible those prejudices are ?Do you sometimes reflect on the fact that many of those people love each other otherwise they wouldn’t be able to stand the pressure from such a racist society with such a horrible past, especially as far as “mixity” goes ?

    But back to the adopting people. Why focus on the women ? They are often couples, and households who already have other children. Sometimes (often) they can’t adopt inside their country because it is very complicated.

    There are light-skinned people who are not racists, and who will know what to tell the children. Others won’t. It just depends on the household. I know both. In that case, a knowledgeable person can intervene, and tell the parents they are going in the wrong direction or not including an information. I did it.

    Generalization on the basis of “race” is what racists do and want you to do. Making it sound as if ALL light-skinned people are racists and therefore incapable of raising children with different skin colors is not okay, because it is simply a racial vision of things. You fall in the trap of race if you analyze everything from that angle.

    Some of those households will actually learn about the society they live in as their child grows. It will open their eyes to realities they can see because they don’t undergo them. Why would you assume that their “race” should hinder them from becoming aware ? Once they will be aware, they can act against racism too, if they didn’t on their own before.

    At the same time, you are right. It is the case in several of those households that they won’t know how to react, most of the time because they are not aware of things. But, do every other “colored” households manage to raise their children perfectly ?
    They can find counsel in other different households, their kids can interact with other kids who will help them become aware of things. What makes you think that those kids will be more alienated than some kids from “same race” (damn how this sounds strange to say for a non-American…) families ?

    Try, sometimes, if it is possible, to realize that not all societies and people are racially minded. I know it is difficult for most Americans because this is what you are taught to be from very very early on. This society makes you assume that “race” is for real (which it is in its consequences of course) and that it is “in-escapable”. Which it is not. Escaping “race” would be the best way to ignore and fight racists and their ideology. Including it in your world view is making them a favor: perpetuating their world. I humbly think.

  41. I am quite horrified at some of the comments that display such an image of “White Woman”, as if it was a “reality”. Do all those commentators realize how narrow-minded and racist (in the first sense of the word, putting everyone in the same bag on the basis of supposedly skin color) their vision is ?

    Do they realize that “white” women in the frame of white supremacy have been considered as simply a “reproducer” of the “white race” all these years and centuries ? Do they realize that “white women” are “objects” of “race” as much as “blacks” or “reds” or “yellows” (funny how “yellows” sounds strange, right, that’s because Asians have never accepted to feel any kind of “yellowness pride”, good for them) ?

    Their position in colonial/racist society has always been defined as the reproducers of the race. Maybe that’s why the focus is so much on them when it comes to children…

    Just a thought.

  42. @ Cornlia

    Thanks for the heartfelt and honest discussion. Throughout history, white women in general have been:

    1. Victims of white male hate.
    2. Property of white males
    3. Protected from their own racism by white men

    Since it is more than astute to claim that the white man has nothing but animosity towards the white woman, yet she is shielded from her own prejudices under the guise of being “delicate”, do you agree that white men are your biggest adversary and not the blacks and browns on this blog?

    Our assessment of why a woman born into privilege wants to adopt a child that she is ill-equipped to emotionally care for is detrimental to the Negro child.

    Our supposition is: why adopt an “other” when she can use her fame and money to uplift the black child so he can remain with the original parent.

  43. I don’t buy white women are innocent in the game of white supremacy; who raises white boys into white men? Who raises mostly any child of any color–the mother.

    Black people had better believe that if white men are dangerous–the women who raise them are as well.

  44. @ Phoebes:

    Thank you.

  45. I totally agree that our common adversary is the man that once decided he was superior to all other man and called himself “white”. I agree that the men who define themselves that way have a sanity problem that is affecting all of us.

    I didn’t realize you were talking specifically about “women born in privilege”, unless that means all “white” women to you. If it means stars and rich women, it’s another thing than simple and plain families who honestly want to adopt kids thinking that they will make their lives a little batter…

    I agree with your supposition then…


  46. I don’t think it’s a question of “innocence” or “guilt”. I think it’s a question of knowledge and power.
    If the woman could do everything right for her son, then “black” women would also manage to avoid their sons from getting into trouble with the law. But they don’t raise children alone, the whole society has an influence. The environment they live in does. It’s the same for “white” women.
    You are considering people individually and implying that they all have the knowledge that you have. It is unfortunately not the case and the power of family, taboo and society’s rules is often stronger that a person’s will… There are many obstacles to overcome to free oneself from racism. It might sometimes mean breaking up with our family. They may be monsters, but they are still your family.

    It is probably the strongest ideology working today. You know it like I know it.

    White women are subdued in it, but also benefit from it. So to be honestly not racist, it takes a lot of courage and conscience. I think every other person should try to fight white supremacy, but I know most won’t because of the pressure and/or the advantages. It is how white-supremacy works, in the balance between those forces. Sermons don’t work to attack it. Making people feel guilty is even worse, because that feeling doesn’t allow for reasoning. It brings shame and shame hinders many from acting.

  47. So to be honestly not racist, it takes a lot of courage and conscience.

    Again, white women are no less racist than white men; if you in fact benefit from white racism and stand on the sidelines and do nothing to dismantle it–you are indeed racist.

    Yes, white men may be at the forefront of wars, politics, etc…but with the help of white women behind the scenes, in their homes and bedrooms….

  48. Don’t believe me…you can hear it from the horse’s mouth–Joyce Carol Oates writes extensively on this…

  49. Of course not, phoebeprunelle. I think that is what I said.

    You have to consider things from their point of view. If you were born “white” and had all the privileges, would more easily choose to go after that system or to accept it and live with it ? Come on, you know what a majority of people would do (and do). (And let me be clear: I absolutely do not support their position. I fight it and try to bring more people to do so at my own little level.)

    This is one reason for the colonial and neo-colonial “secret” social system called “passing”. When a “black” person could pass as “white” (that very phrase shows how stupid and crazy racism is), he or she would in many cases, even though he or she was born “into” a “black” family (by dichotomic American racial standards, in other places there were intermediate racial categories like “colored” or else).

    So using the privileges of “whiteness” are not confined to “born whites”, but vary depending on the possibilities a person encounters and his or her willingness to fight the system or not. Many activists could have “passed” but chose to fight instead. Someone like WEB Dubois could have. Take him to a European or African setting and nobody would even think he was “black”

    And there are light-skinned people who act in ways that shows (or don’t show because they didn’t or don’t things openly) they are not “white-minded”, but the “white” media and cultural transmission system makes sure they are seldom or never talked about or mentioned, unless they do things that are so “big” that it is impossible to hide them, like John Brown. Even then, he is not considered a “hero” in a society that is so keen on them.
    Not acknowledging these activists and their activism is giving white supremacy more power than it has. It has enough already.

    That said, it is true that a majority of “whites” are indeed white…

  50. Phoebeprunelle, by “of course not” I meant that I agree with you that “if you in fact benefit from white racism and stand on the sidelines and do nothing to dismantle it–you are indeed racist.” and “with the help of white women behind the scenes, in their homes and bedrooms”.

  51. Yes John Brown did fight..Bill Maher to a lesser extent does to. They usually are silenced though.

  52. I can’t believe this topic is here for me to comment on. I genuinely apologize, but for a long time, I have been dying to be in an arena such as this and I mean no harm. With that said, this is perhaps one of the most wicked moves they have made so far and what’s worse? It is a trend. Can you say danger. Was that you @diaryofanegress that said something to the effect of, if they had any love for the kids, they’d help the mother? Absolutely right! This new trend gives them the chance to mask their hate and wanting-ness to exploit in what should be charity, but the fact of the matter is, whites absolutely can not raise a black child. Well they can, but it’s something not right about it. First, when a black child is being raised by white parents they are being nurtured against their nature. As if the circumstances they are in aren’t damning enough. At least if a black child is raised by another black family, the black family can support them, giving them the tools they need to function in America. It’s called the black experience and no white person, no matter how eccentric they may be can give this to a black child. They come across as a people who have no respect for the black experience or the black family. Actually, they have so much respect for it, they are scared. The scariness of it all is coddled by their denial that it exists or it is a problem. When you couple it with white privilage, you get a trend where, IN THEIR HEADS (subconscious), they are protecting their future safety and paying back the actions of their slave-trading ancestors by adopting children of color. Instead, this is an example of the lengths they will go to keep us complacent, generations to come.

  53. i don’t know how i feel about this, i agree with the identity and culture aspect but not all white people are supremacists, maybe apathetic and ignorant of what is happening world wide but not all white supremacists. is it better to allow a child to be raised in orphanage or put in foster system? i doubt that

    as for the celebrities is just more PR for them, imo, like angelina, there is one dumb woman who needs to shut up and start reading reality.

  54. Hi Ibeelaw. You comment implies several things:

    “whites absolutely can not raise a black child. Well they can, but it’s something not right about it. First, when a black child is being raised by white parents they are being nurtured against their nature”

    Please transform “whites” into “white Americans”, and I will more okay with that. And “wealthy white women” would be even better.

    Otherwise it would be such an accusation to make for families who genuinely are welcoming and aware.

    Now about “nurtured against their nature”. That is a very very disturbing statement… It is exactly what racists claim: that “race” is natural.

    It is not, it is cultural. It is learned, even if in the US, it has almost incarnated itself. From that point of view, and in a society like the US, your subsequent statements *may* stand, if you indeed consider that all light-skinned people are “white-minded”. That would be something that also refers directly to the theory of races.

    But this is the US, and the US perspire race, breathe race, sweat race, talk race, live race to a point that is so sick… and so sad.

  55. @ Ibeelaw

    Good comments.

  56. I’ll tell you, with all due respect, what is disturbing here: that you keep referring to whites as light-skinned. I see what you are trying to do and I know exactly who you are. By the way, thank you for having the nerve you have because after reading a lot of your ideas, especially the one I’ve already mentioned, I promised to leave you alone, because what you are doing and saying isn’t right. You completely discredit the Black Experience time and time again. Being Black in America is no walk in the park. Another thing that is disturbing and I am personally insulted, by this, that you are telling me to change whites to white so you could feel better. Honestly, I could have sworn that you have removed yourself from that type of discourse considering your skin to be light-skinned and not white. Now, I can’t take you seriously. You aren’t eccentric, you aren’t aware, you aren’t light-skinned. You are a defensive white woman who wants to be saved. But, just as I thought, you’re here to defend yourself. I wasn’t sure, but you confirmed it. Shame on you for doing exactly what I know whites to do. Did you really ask me to change what I have in my writing which pours from my soul, for YOUR EDIFICATION? This is an example of white supremacy at its best. You should have a little more respect. Say whatever you will, I do read your comments, but don’t ever ask somebody to change anything they write without a valid truth or reason behind it. I have respect for you, okay, and if you are going to respond and reply, please, have respect for me too. Do not and I repeat do not push your ideas that come out of a defense mechanism on me.

  57. Sorry ibeelaw, but this is just not possible: “I know exactly who you are”… This is the internet, we have never met and never chatted. You cannot know who someone is from a few posts on a blog. As a matter of fact, my life experience tells me you sometimes discover who people are after years of thinking you know them intimately.

    That said, I absolutely do no wish to lack respect to anyone here. I do not “have the nerve”. I’m just participating in a conversation.

    I understand what you are saying about the Black experience in the US. This is a very special and harsh place. I felt it as soon as I arrived here years ago (I left a few years later).

    I am not telling you to change anything to anything, you view things the way you do. I am saying that my background and vision of race is different, and in a blog that is open on the internet, therefore the world, you have to realize that you also talking to and with people who have not had the same experience that you have. “Whites” in general is a very flexible notion, but “white Americans” does refer to a certain acception. It is not a question of me feeling better. It is a question of what and who are we talking about.

    I don’t understand what you want to say here: “Honestly, I could have sworn that you have removed yourself from that type of discourse considering your skin to be light-skinned and not white.”
    My skin is light, beige, and I have never been told or taught that I was white in my family circle or at school, but the history and culture of my country were once based on it, I have never thought of myself as white, I was never classified racially before I discovered it -still- existed in the USA. Does that clear things up ? Or did you mean something else ?

    The next statement, if you weren’t saying it so seriously, would make me laugh. But it doesn’t. “You are a defensive white woman who wants to be saved.” That leads us back to the statement I quoted above, that “you know me”. From that last statement, I can tell you, you really, really have no idea who I am. Which is normal, again. We have never met or talked.

    I am not here to defend myself. I am here to discuss (since it is an open forum) topics that I am interested in and in understanding. I have my ideas on them, which no many people share, and I am interested in seeing what other people think. I have nothing to defend about myself, I am okay with my own self. I want to try an expand my knowledge, to use it to try and make things better if I can and when I can.

    When I said “Please transform “whites” into “white Americans””, I was certainly not ordering you around. I’m sorry and humbly apologizing if it sounded like it. I sometimes do not find the exact terms I should use as English is a second language to me. What I meant was: there are various contexts in which you can analyze the topic diaryofanegress posted. Analyzing it generally (“whites”) is not the same as analyzing it in an American/wealthy/white frame. That is what I meant. I was referring to placing things in their specific context, which is, I think, the context in which the post first put them.

    I am truly sorry if my comments appeared disrespectful, I am here to learn and exchange. I am not ashamed of who I am because I have spent many years trying to understand what kind of world I live in.

    I hope my explanations cleared things up and please always have in mind that people who don’t speak your language as a first language have more difficulties expressing exactly what that they mean, though I do master the language quite well. Simply talking about “race” is not easy, and you know it. It implies all kinds of biases (on everyone’s part), prejugés (prejugments, see this is a word that doesn’t translate as prejudice exactly), unknown ideas, unexpected reactions, specific cultural knowledge, etc…

  58. As much as I hate tucking my tail, I have to apologize as well. By the time I responded to you each post I read had my heart beating, I was sweating …. This blog speaks to my spirit, though that spirit is stifled by its circumstances in life. I am very angry and it was exposed today. I do not know you … I’m short, I have a napoleons complex and yes, I did think you were bossing me around. I understand though it was a miscommunication. I was just very wound up, tightly wound up after reading this blog today … From the bottom of my heart, you did not deserve that.

  59. Hey no problem. I just wish I was able to be able to meet with people like you and talk. This is what we need. But it is difficult, because you are right, you are right, you never know who you’re dealing with. I understand that. And your personal experience leads you to interpreting things people say through a lens that is tainted with pain and blood.

    I know that and it is okay. Please feel free to tell me honestly when you think I’m being an idiot and ignorant.

    There are things that I say that I know African-Americans do not agree with and sometimes consider silly or misinformed, that’s because we really do have different experiences.

    I know how horrible my civilization (European) has been and still is. I’m trying to find ways to think out of the frame of race, because I know racists want us to stay inside of that frame. It is very very complicated. Because it hurts other people who has built their identity on race too.

    The difference between you and a racist reacting to my speech (and it always happens) is that racists will unleash their hatred towards me as I break a taboo. I talk about race and it’s different from their take. I am a traitor to them.

    I have never had an African-/// be hateful to me, we disagree, we get upset, but never hateful.

    Peace, we need to work together or side by side, as you wish !

  60. What frightens me about taking race out of it is once we do, once we become this world where the color of our skin isn’t an issue or even up for discussion, we lose respect for the struggle we were born out of.
    Cornlia, we are a people without a legacy. Sure, we have a story, but yes, it’s tainted. When we take race out of it, we diminish the value of heritage. You know how hard it is for me to here the story of, and this is for you, white American grandparents who can tell you what the second generation of men were doing in there family blood line? I will control my anger so we can have productive correspondences! Thanx for understanding!

  61. You know, seen from abroad, your legacy as a People is much more positive and rich than the legacy of those of my ancestors who invaded this place…

    Not many of the people who look like me have done the personal soul searching that is necessary to understand things and to change this world. I wish they had.

    But we are derailing from the topic and diaryofanegress would probably like us to shift back in the right track ! Good night.

  62. @ ibeelaw

    May I say that black rage and black deoression is genetic. A friend taught me that.

    Once you begin to understand where that rage comes from and why you have it, it does become more “tolerable”.

    Traveling across this country gave me an education college never could. It reminded me who and what I am and why God put me here.

    Take your time with your anger and slowly release it to God. I do. Every day. And as for losing our heritage…never!

    Black was here first and we’ll be here last.

  63. Just one more (sorry diaryofanegress) thing that I think must be said: I totally understand that you would be extremely cautious when dealing with “white women”. Given the history of black man even hardly interacting with a white woman like merely looking at her (since she is the reproducer of the white race, she must remain pure), I could understand that any African-American male would put caution first and open-mindedness second.

    Also, I think you guys can only be proud of the achievements of the African diaspora in the Americas and in the US in particular.

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