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diaryofanegress

Observations of an Invisible Woman

Open Discussion #1

Last night, after a heated discussion about one of my posts, I realized that we Coloureds need to air out our frustrations about this crazy world we’re living in. A simple topic lead to hurt feelings which is counterproductive to our struggle. We are family. All of us. If we took a DNA test, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that we are blood relations.

I personally do not like arguing with my people. I find it fruitless. So, I’m going to start an open discussion post every so often so we can talk about whatever is on our minds. Since we all live so spread out from each other…one poster isn’t even in North America, I can’t organize my people the way I’d like, so let’s do it this way. I find that talking, asking for help and seeking advise is the best way to heal from living in a supremacist society. I’ll keep this post up for a few days to let everyone have a turn.

So on this page, nothing is off limits, but there are rules:

1. No disrespect / hate of our people. NO name calling.

2. Everyone must help one another with plausible and reasonable solutions.

3. Speak honestly and openly about what’s troubling us.

4. We must promote education and spiritual healing through books, movies, documentaries( Mickey, you are awesome!!! ) and research.

Soooo……I’ll go first:

I went to main street the other day and saw this little girl, probably around 14 or 15, with low-slung pants and a thong showing above her waistband! I stopped to stare at her. I thought to myself, at that age, if I had worn that, my mama would’ve whooped my black ass.

What’s going on with our kids, people?

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104 thoughts on “Open Discussion #1

  1. To answer your question I think the youth are just reflecting to what society tells them what they are. Whether they get it from the streets or from the media, in the end adults are telling children who they are and how they should behave. Unfortunately, it is none too enlightening.

  2. Brothawolf:

    Where are the parents of yesteryear?!

  3. I don’t think the children of the past were any less wild than the ones today. What one generation considers as “wild” my seem tame to another. Yet, there were youth acting up even before any of us were born.

    I’m just saying.

  4. mary burrell on said:

    I’m think there is generation of kids raising kids. so that has a lot to do with it.

  5. Yeah could be.

  6. Sorry, Sister truthbetold,

    I never respond well to accusations of in-authenticity. I don’t even tolerate disloyalty from my family; so when someone accuses me of that intolerable quality, I’m plain outraged. I just hate the idea of people believing I’m disloyal or dishonest.

    Though I probably need a better way of voicing that quirk.

    I think that, in the moment, I’m convinced that where there is one there is many; so rather than having many people insulting me, I stop the one and dissuade the many. The remedy of choice is very counter-productive, though, as it seems, on the surface, to be more hateful than loving. But when the dam is breaking, you run for the quickest patch; sometimes the best but always the quickest.

    I apologize seeing how I’m in the mix of the troubles. But I really don’t understand why people are insulting people. I really don’t do anything wrong to be called contemptuous to Black women and a Pimp who pursues White women.

    It’s just terrible when you’re striving to build things for our people; some will accuse you of terrible vices without any cause.

    Some say “get tough skin” and truly I have ‘tough skin’ but I don’t have ‘tough skin’ to be lied about and civil with that. It’s really not easy to me, to cajole the mis-dressed 15-year-old to a higher standard of living; then while I’m resting, enjoying your wonderful hosting, someone throws their drink on me and tells everyone that I’m not anything.

    I can see that family get’s hype, but family doesn’t throw their drinks on you and call you out of your name.

    To me, if a White person does that, whatever, the uncivil will be uncivil, but like you point out, our people need to behave by a higher standard. Like, if that young girl’s momma isn’t telling her to pull up her pants, another woman should. But maybe I’m old fashioned. 🙂

    Sorry again. I need to be better with people. I guess that when you cut White folk out of your life, you are no longer used to being insulted. :-\

  7. Onitaset:

    All is forgiven. No hard feelings. Dealing with sensitive topics will result in hurt feelings. That’s why we talk and talk and talk. Ultimately, healing, compassion and a greater understanding will be accomplished.

    Many have hurt my feelings too and I’ve hurt theirs. But we move on and try to find reasonable solutions. Ok?

  8. Guys, do you think Quentin tarantino is racist?

  9. Mickey on said:

    Quentin Tarantino has cool movies, but I never really thought about him being racist. I found him to be one of the more respected White directors when it comes to actors of color. But, maybe we can revisit this when his new movie “Django Unchained” starring Jamie Foxx comes out. In case you didn’t know, it is about an escaped slave who travels to a plantation where his wife is being held by a ruthless slave owner.

  10. Yeah, it’s not the first time I saw and heard of Tarantino’s love of that word.

  11. Mickey:

    I like Tarantino. I have Death Proof, Inglorious Basterds and a few others. I agree that he does seem to take fancy to blacks and the exploitation films and the N-word but whether or not he’s a racist, hmmmm….I don’t know yet.

    Look at Wood Allen who has not one black character in any of his films! Some of which are shot in NY. Go figure.

  12. ynotme on said:

    It’s possible that he is a racist, but I think he is just feeding the public exactly what they want to see and hear. I would say that Tarantino is just a typical businessman who will say and do whatever necessary to rake in more dough (money).

  13. @ Ynotme

    Then as someone who has the power of the media in is hands, doesn’t he have a personal responsibility not to uphold the stereotype? That’s why I have a love / hate relationship with Tyler Perry.

  14. ynotme on said:

    In the eyes and minds of the “typical businessman” money making is his main objective.

  15. ok…fair enough.

  16. Tyrone on said:

    Truth

    We could go on and on about the sad state of the black family, but, that’s not the only component. As most educated folk know, the devil specializes in the arts…music, dance, theater, and so forth. The easiest way to pollute the minds of black youth is thru entertainment. Those in power know that teens are the most impressionable in society, which is why they are bombarded with all of the filth that “The System” has to offer. Blackmen in hip-hop promoting violence and hatred of blackwomen is no accident, it’s by design. Smart black kids teased because they can speak and write the english language, compared to those who can’t. All of this is common knowledge. Are young sistas and brothas willing to acknowledge what’s taking place, which is the first step? They can’t depend on their elders to save them, because they’re jacked up twice as much. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton can’t save them from the ills of society.

    Tyrone

  17. Tyrone:

    That’s why TV is so detrimental to our community. Remember my post on hip hop? Artists are being paid to niggerize themselves and we all know money talks.

    perhaps an open letter to the moguls is in order?

  18. Mickey on said:

    Speaking of this phenomenon, check this out by Professor Griff, formerly of the classic rap group, Public Enemy. He speaks about this and the other ills of our society.

  19. I doubt that would do much good. We could write, protest and even boycott, and it may show a little change. But in the end that’s just what it is, a little change.

    They may allow for one song that’s lyrically intricate, positive, socially conscious, or even revolutionary, but in the end they will continue to play the other songs that consumers will eat up.

    However, there are rap and hip hop songs out there that counter the mainstream’s. All you have to do is search for them and support them.

  20. In the end a major part as to why kids act up is because that’s the only way they’ll get noticed. That’ true for many, but not all, but I digress. One of the problems facing our youth is that the older generations don’t listen to them. Deep down, many children want to learn about the world around them, and not be sold a bill of goods courtesy of the education system and mainstream media. They want to be told the truth, and at the same time they want an ear to hear them out. We can’t just expect them to listen to us without us listening to them as well.

  21. Since Tarantino loves the N word so much,I’m getting bad vibes about this new slavery film. Tarantino + Slavery= Disaster. But we’ll see.

  22. You know what? I thought 50 cent would change his tune but no…he’s still on the bandwagon.

    How do you feel about Jasiri X?

  23. No offense to my heritage but that’s the way I grew up. Do as I say….I’m the adult here.

    On one hand, this is good for the foundation of respecting authority but it also squashes our spiritual growth and freedom of (respectful) expression.

    I don’t have kids, with good reason, but if I did I’d raise them the way my mama raised me. Strict as hell but loving.

    Plus…most parents have to work 2 and 3 jobs to survive so raising kids is left up to Auntie, Cousin and the TV.

  24. Ok Mickey…thanks again!!! I’ll watch and get back to you.

  25. Your Highness:

    Tarantino, gives me mixed feelings…but so does Tyler Perry. If he makes ONE MORE Madea film, I’ll scream.

  26. Most white guys I’ve talked to LOVE Pulp Fiction. I think it’s combination of the N wrod being dropped so freely and Ving Rhames getting anally raped by sadistic white boys. I wonder why Tarantino didn’t have Bruce Willis raped in that film. Hmmm….kind of strange isn’t it? Tarantino claims to be a big fan of black films from the 70’s era. I don’t but it though. I think it’s all talk.But brothers and sistas always got the white man in the end of the film. His films,Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown didn’t seem to ring true to that era. White critics love him to death–he can do no wrong. Many black critics are not too fond of him. Yes he does employ black actors–but at what expense?? To take roles that stereotype and dehumanize us?? He and Samuel Jackson mus be lovers or something.lol Sam is always sticking up for him. Sam and Ving should have more respect for themselves than to do some of these roles. But I guess if the paycheck is big enough they’ll take it.smh

  27. Yeah…that DAMN money!!!
    Where is the integrity? I was shocked to see Denzel playing a dirty cop by the way.

    I guess blacks in Hollywood don’t have much choices in what roles to take…so they take anything.

  28. I wrote about Tyler in my blog a few days ago. You’ll have to check it out. I’m so tired of seeing black men in drag. Hollyweird is really pushing this black male/homo/transgender agenda. This gay agenda is really affecting our children. Our community is under attack.

  29. Ok…I’ll take a look and get back to you.

  30. This has been the case since we were on the slave ships. Did you know that white men used to put rouge and female clothing on black boys and rape them?

    Then they forced the slave man to pimp his own family. If these rappers knew the history of pimping, perhaps they would stop.

  31. Tyrone on said:

    Truth

    Jasiri X is the kind of brotha hip-hop needs more of. Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Common, and The Roots are just a few of the quality people that are active in the game right now. A lot of our people have been in denial about hip-hop, and this generation has paid a heavy price because of our apathy as black-americans. Whitemen paying stupid black kids to degrade their own, it’s too easy for whitey. Shame is the only word that comes to mind.

    Tyrone

  32. His sis,check out this 2 min video and tell me what you think. I found it very interesting.

  33. Denial comes in when they see rappers with bling, money, a big house they really don’t need and girls, girls, girls.

    Remember the ruckus Jasiri X caused when he sang “What if the Tea Party was black?”

    They were fuming!!!

  34. ok…yeah..I saw that on someone’s blog…I can’t remember who though.

    Hollywood operates on the fact that whites will support anything that illustrates their superiority…like all Disney films. I’m writing a post about that due out by Sunday.

  35. Jasiri X has been holding it down for a minute. I like the fact that he’s unafraid to speak his mind. Kind of reminds my of Public Enemy,KRS ONE and the X Clan back in the day. There’s actually a lot of conscious and progressive hip hop stars out there. They’re just not mainstream because the media wants the masses of our people ignorant. So you get Drake and Rick Ross instead of Jasiri X. I personally like artists like Kalik Scientific,Kil Ripkin,StaHHr,Sa Roc,Ptah Ra Tehuti,Hakim Green,Queen Nef and Richard Raw. Not sure if you’re familiar with any of those artists but you can look them up on Youtube or Bandcamp.com. There’s brothers and sistas that are putting out great music,you just have to know where to look and find their music.

  36. Disney is SO corrupt. I work near Disneyland and they have their own security and police force. Disneyland and Disney World are like cities withing cities. Disney has a horrible reputation. If you ever get a chance,check out the book. Bloodlines of The Illuminati. It has a chapter on all the sick things Walt Disney and his brother Roy, did for the elite and government back in the day. Pornography,child abductions,gathering information for the CIA etc. Wild stuff!

  37. ok…I’ll take a look.

  38. Yes I have heard about that. My father told me about that when I was younger.They raped little girls,boys and grown men. How sick is that? That’s why Sandusky is not a shock if you know European history.

  39. I don’t watch White folks’ movies. What saddens me is how Nigeria produces more movies than America does, yet “Black Americans” don’t watch Nollywood. Even though, the Caribbean and Africa do.

    We have the power to support the second-most productive film industry in the world, behind India, and we don’t.

  40. I’m just disgusted that an entire community covered it up! Like the Catholic Church.

  41. Onitaset:

    Spike Lee spoke of this openly. He complains that they cant’ get financing.

  42. Mickey on said:

    That’s because most Black Americans have never even heard of Nollywood. And the powers-that-be in America would never promote such a postive thing amonst Black Americans. They cannot control a group of people if they have too much to look forward to.

  43. Are you sure that it’s Spike Lee. All I see on him with regard Nollywood is that he complained about their plagiarism. Which seems kind of silly to me.

    He even appears to say that they should raise to international standard. Geez . . .. Maybe next time I see him, I’ll have a talk. 🙂

  44. “Each one, teach one.”

    In my view, we don’t do our part when we engage in discussions of “Hollywood” and neglect discussions of Nollywood. We have a voice but we don’t use it. It’s one of our worst traits.

    We kind of silence ourselves.

  45. Yeah…he said that he must finance his own films due to the fact that Weinstein and Company won’t give him a shot.

    They did that with George Lucas too…

  46. I’m not understanding.

    Can you make the connection with Nollywood a bit more clear?

  47. Nollywood? Oh…I mean Spike Lee can’t get financing for his films in America due to the content. Nollywood isn’t something I’m aware of with him.

  48. Oh I see, I think the Nigerians got it right and Spike Lee got it wrong.

    I wrote a post on this back in the day, but in essence it sums up that the technology of Classic Hollywood was less than our phones; yet none of us are doing as they did in making “Classic” films.

    We’re just watching Hollywood make bad film after bad film, instead of steering our people over to Nollywood which is in essence “Classic Hollywood’s” counterpart.

    Just think of it, we have an African film industry with global impact and we leave it alone, watching our hater’s productions.

  49. ok…I understand now.

  50. I started writing a response and it grew and grew, so I made a new post and cited yours:

    http://sanctifiedbrother.wordpress.com/2012/06/30/whats-going-on-with-our-kids/

  51. Pingback: What’s Going On with Our Kids? « Sanctified Brother

  52. mary burrell on said:

    I was watched Pulp Fiction a couple of months ago. the character talking about the dead nigger sign, made me chuckle. Pulp Fiction is one of my favorite movies as well as Jackie Brown. As far as Tarantino being a racist I’m not so sure. maybe all of us are racist in some form or fashion. I did notice he likes to use the word nigger in alot of his films. However if i’m in the workplace and sitting in the breakroom talking to nonblack people about certain movies and tarantino films come up in the conversation it makes me uneasy. It seems like they derive somekind of sick pleasure saying this word on the sly. I don’t know what to make of his new film about the slaves. How are you going to make fun of something that was so tragic to our people? However I saw the trailer at the movies last week it looked kind of interesting. I will just have to see because I’m very curious. I never thought Jamie Foxx was sexy or anything but he kind of looked appealing in that role.

  53. mary burrell on said:

    Since Nigeria has alot of film making going on why do black film makers take advantage of the opportunities over there? or maybe it’s not that simple. there’s a blog I subscribe to shadow and act that discusses the tv and film. and they talk about nollywood being the place for Africans to make make films. why don’t American black people go to Africa? make the films they want to make tell the stories that they want to tell? But there is the problem of selling our stories to whites and making them acceptable to the white fim going public.

  54. mary burrell on said:

    Since Nigeria has a lot of film making going on why don’t black film makers go there? We are not interesting to them. unless we are in role of servitude or something demeaning then they are’nt intrested.

  55. mary burrell on said:

    Sister you need to do a post about Walt Disney’s racist ass. If you lok at most of his old films you will see the racist stereotypes. And I loved Michael Jackson but Michael loved Walt Disney. poor Michael I guess he was too damaged to see.

  56. Catholics are going to have hell to pay fro the carnage they’ve spread around the world. Their judgment will come sis. Don’t worry.

  57. Miss Mary:

    I also have mixed feeling about him too. He sure does LOVE that word.

  58. Ok…it’s on my list.

  59. The Pope is just another pedophile but in sheep’s clothing.

  60. Brothawolf, thanks for the links. good reading.

  61. Hey Guys:

    Why do some black women spend all their money buying fake hair?
    I know that braids are apart of the black culture but some spend serious cash on fake hair every week and forgo buying food.

    What gives? My hair has been natural since…maybe age 22? I’ve always had a fro.
    Why do black women do this? Personally, I have no qualms with any woman who styles her hair but…when it becomes excessive….to the point of being broke? I don’t know.

  62. You know something?

    A post is DUE about that!!!

  63. Yeah he’s pretty sick. But then again,all of them are. It’s amazing how people give them a pass because they claim to be “men of the cloth”. *rolls eyes*

  64. mary burrell on said:

    Hey Sister truth , I believe in each to his own. as a weave/wig wearer. I like the versitility of different hairstyles. I am not into the natural lok for myself. But I don’t knock people that do. I have no desire to look European. You ever stop to think some people have problems with their hair.i.e. thyroid disorders causing thin hair. for myself that natural business would’nt work for me. It is my opinion if one does’nt have nice soft feature these types of styles are not attractive. with that being said. I do what works for me. there countless blogs that debate this tired subject. It’s like beating a dead horse.

  65. I’m with you Mary, I do just what I want with my own hair from growing it down my back years ago, to natural braids and now a cute shoulder length bob cut. And when I feel like it, I throw on a wig too which I LOVE!

    What I do NOT do is chemically treat my hair, and advise other Black women to not only NOT put perms/straightening chemicals in their hair, but to very carefully read the labels of the creams, oils, ect you do put in your hair even if your hair is “natural”.

  66. Ok…fair enough. Good responses. But how do you explain the phenomena with black women and spending money in Chinese/Korean shops?

  67. Mickey on said:

    Truthbetold,

    If you watch the Chris Rock documentary “Good Hair”, it may answer many of your questions.

  68. ok…And I’ll get back to you. Thanks again.

  69. Black women spend where they can purchase the products they want. I think a better question is why aren’t there more Blacks trying to break into the Black hair care game. I’m a BIG Carol’s Daughter fan, but it ain’t cheap!!!

    Almost all of the Black women I know are gainfully employed, own homes, 401K plans, ect so the amount they choose to spend on themselves is all good to me!

    Personally, I don’t buy into the myth that there are hordes of Black women spending “rent” (NOT mortage money) on their hair but then I don’t buy into 90% of the myths about Black women out there.

  70. Good hair was a funny movie, but far from representative of most of the Black women I know personally.

  71. My Good Dr.

    I agree. Why aren’t black women getting into the “hair ” industry? Keep the money within the family. Like the Jews.

  72. mary burrell on said:

    SisterTruth, In my community there is a church where there is a pastor who is very grass roots and very pro black. He brought up the subject of if black women buy products like nails and hair weaves why don’t we have our own nail salons and beauty supply stores? Why do we give our money to individuals who dispise us? and they take our money and go live in upscale neighborhoods away from the people they dispise. This straight up madness. That’s makes so much sense. why can’t black people learn the emport /export business? The Koreans some of them not all but some can be very rude. alot of immigrant people come to the hood and get prosperous while we (African Americans) are sleeping. I feel we have got to do better.

  73. mary burrell on said:

    import/export

  74. What I’d like to know is why so many African women across ALL economic/educational levels wear so much “unatural” looking weave. Now I’m not saying that your birthplace is indiciative of the type of hair styles you can wear, but lets be real here, the butt length Brazillian silkly weave just doesn’t “line up” quite right with over a thousand of years of natural kink and curl.

    I mean those edges? Umm, yeah mabe that’s a topic for another post!

  75. Miss Mary:

    I am trying to promote black entrepreneurship in all forms. My brother has his own small company that he runs from home. When business was good, it was very good but the economy got him.

    I think the problem is getting loans and just getting money together to get started. May I suggest a family business? Or maybe if you have a good close family friend, start there…and start small.

    Remember how the folks in the old days did it? Granny, cousin, brother and a good family friend all put in the money to get things started.

  76. Yes, my good Dr.

    I think we need a black hair post.

  77. mary burrell on said:

    @Dr.Reine, There’s alot of controversy in the blogosphere about Carol’s Daughter. Some are saying that the owner is a sellout sister that plays the light skin dark skin game. I don’t know because her products are overpriced I can’t afford them. But check it out.The thing that made her special is not the case now that she is sucessful.

  78. Mickey on said:

    Here is a trailer:

  79. mary burrell on said:

    I meant to say the controversy is about Carol’s Daughter advertising campaign. that the issue of coloration the lightskin/drk skin craziness was going on.

  80. I’m not familiar with Carols daughter…I’ll have to look her up.

  81. I hadnt heard that about Carol’s daughter. But aren’t all Black business in the beauty game accused of playing the skin tone game at some point or another? I remember the same thing in 80’s when Ebony Fashion Fare cosmetics came out. I usually end up feeling folks are making a big deal about the same ol’ thing over and over and over again.

  82. What I’d like to know is why is it when a dark skinned sista is used in advertising its all good, but if a light skinned sista is chosen, all hell breaks loose?

    This kind of colorist hypocrisy is ridiculous!!!!! Black beauty comes in ALL shades!!!!

  83. Mickey on said:

    Because when it comes to racism, both interracial and intraracial, nothing changes except the weather.

  84. I wrote something on that myself, though it’s queued up.

    But the “Why” is old news. We’ve been doing it for a long, long time.

  85. Onitaset:

    I’m writing a post on hair…from the black and white perspective.

  86. Lol, I don’t see how anyone isn’t intimidated by these folk.

  87. I can’t help but wonder why you’d put yourself in that situation.

    Listen, I have a question for all…why is Obama pushing the homosexual agenda? Somethings wrong but I can’t figure it out.

    At first he was against it but now he’s pushing it.

    Anyone care to educate the Negress?

  88. wilson on said:

    I got a random question:

    Does anyone think nature has been acting weirder of late or is something afoot?

    and

  89. @ Wilson

    THANK YOU!
    I talked about this with my brother just this morning that the air and earth “felt” different. It’s like the sun’s rays got hotter and the rain is heavier and more brutal than ever.

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks that way.

    Whew!

  90. One more thing…

    Something is afoot! Something unholy!

  91. wilson on said:

    Looks like something might indeed be afoot. I wonder what it all means though?

    I’ve heard people say that the rumors of Economic collapse and war mongering that are reaching fiver pitch nowadays have been put in place as a distraction to the masses from what is going on in terms of “Earth changes”. And “Earth Changes” doesn’t only mean “Earth changes” but rather to the whole “Solar System” to which earth is a part off…

    http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/20may_loststripe/

    and

    http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2011/19may_saturnstorm/

    …Little signs here and there that something weird might be going on and somehow, we “human beings” might be oblivious to what is just around the corner.

    Maybe nothing is there.

  92. wilson on said:

    Latest killer lightning strike

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19028868

  93. This will only get much worse…ever heard of HAARP?

  94. wilson on said:

    Yeah I have but I suspect from a different context to what you’ve heard. I am guessing you are thinking about man made weather manipulation on a global scale? The context of which I’ve heard about it is, global mind manipulation of people, not weather.

  95. Yeah, like the new world order.

  96. I believe that mofo goes to sleep dreaming about how to create a plot solely around the use of the word N*GGER. It’s almost pathological. Like how does that add to authenticity of the story to have that word in a plot 100 times? Interesting that when whites were free to use it publicly in their private lives u didn’t hear it as much in pop culture as you do now. Co-incidence or planned?

  97. I think most actors just want good roles. And most black actors nowadays are not politically inclined or pro-black anyway. I think that great non-black actors like DeNiro have played both villains and good guys and no one thinks about it but I’m sure there are Italians who decry the way they are generally portrayed in hollywood. So in that sense, I cut Denzel some slack. He’ s played I think enough heroes for US that he can be allowed to pursue grit and dirt to elevate his craft. From what I understand, actors long for roles that take them out of their element. But it shouldn’t be surprising that Hollywood is going to reward him for the dirt and ignore the heroic roles he’s played. The problem is we go and support both and aren’t more discerning with our $. Sam Jackson, from what I understand, is either #1 or close to it, as far as top grossing movie actors–but that negro has lost his mind with his recent cajoling of a news reporter to say N#gger. They don’t need any encouragement for that, believe me. I hope he ain’t back on that ‘stuff’. lol..

  98. I don’t believe those ‘moguls’ have any power. They are just figureheads or puppets. And I believe they are fully on board with the agenda. If not, they wouldn’t have gotten as far up on the food chain as they have. Negroes in high places don’t get there, they are placed there after they have proven their loyalty by putting in work. Same methodology as the mafia.

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