Observations of an Invisible Woman

The Black Culture’s Dirty Little Secret

Ummmmm……….yes, it’s that kind of discussion today. Since God created Adam and Eve, men have lusted after other men. Yeah sure, the bible says, ” No, no….please don’t do that. That’s why girls are here,” but we know it happens in ALL cultures. But for some reason, when black men do it, it’s shocking, shameful and damaging to his career. It tears apart families and may lead him to suicide, drugs and being “down low”… all to have something that feels “right” to him but he knows society won’t approve of.

Why are gay black men shunned in black society? Let’s examine this……

Since we took that little boat ride, black men have been the epitome of sexuality, manliness and toughness. Every black man( and I suspect white men too) wanted to be John Shaft, a “big, black dick that’s a hit with all the chicks.” We see tall, strapping, young( and sometimes old ) black men with hordes of beautiful willing women who will do whatever they wish. Billie Dee Williams, in his heyday, was a smooth, chocolate brother that made the ladies swoon while convincing men everywhere that Colt 45 was the drink to be had. So if the black man, in all his sensual glory, could have any woman( black or white )he desired, why choose men? And why keep it a secret? Or worse…why get married, have kids and sneak out to rendezvous with your lover?

Even though AmeriKlan claims to be Puritanical in foundation( hahahahahaha!!!!! ), we blacks are usually raised in a deeply religious/spiritual home. We’ve heard the preacher talk about Allah, Jah, Christ or whatever name you have for Him. We are told about the sins of the flesh, why marriage between a man and woman is key. And that God hates homosexuals.

Being a man in AmeriKlan is hard enough but when you throw skin colour in the mix, then it becomes damn near deadly. One thought I have about why black homosexuality is so shameful is that we, as coloured folks, are taught that homosexuality is a “white man’s disease.” That’s why they flaunt their “illness” in public as opposed to hiding in the shadows. No self-respecting brother would ever “choose” this lifestyle over the one the bible says he must have. So it becomes taboo…a mortal sin…and of course, anything that is considered taboo becomes more desired.

Then there’s that shameful feeling that overcomes you when your family learns of your true nature. You’ve “let them down”. What will the neighbours think? Or Auntie Rita? Will they look at you the same way again? Will your cousin, the deacon, allow you to use his bathroom? And what about AIDS? Don’t ALL homosexuals carry the disease? How to explain to them that you are still that same young man who loves to fish with dad. You’re just gay.

Perhaps that societal pressure combined with familial pressure is why black men who love other black men stay hidden in the shadows….I don’t know. What I do know is, God loves ALL of his children, even the ones that stray or do bad things. If you are a gay black man in hiding…come out and see the light. Being black is hard enough. Why add another element to an already difficult existence?

Tell me your thoughts about this difficult subject.

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11 thoughts on “The Black Culture’s Dirty Little Secret

  1. Very eloquently put. You are absolutely right we are all the children of God. I don’t see how repressing a group of people is beneficial to anyone. One man/woman does not have the right to stand in judgement of another.

  2. Thank you. Why this plagues the black community remains a mystery…You have no issue seeing a gay white couple in TV but a black one…..very seldom.

  3. I am also perplexed by very homophobic preachers and religious leaders. Instead of focusing on what people do in their private life why not feed the poor or fight injustice. Their energy would be better served redirecting it to something positive.

  4. It’s the old “Do as I say, not as I do” syndrome.
    Remember Ted Haggard? Even though he’s white, same rules apply. He’d be so much happier if he just said, “Look folks, I’m gay AND a christian.”

  5. brothawolf on said:

    I think it goes back to society’s habit to pathologize black people. Society turns homosexuality into a pathology as well, and when you’re black and gay, those are two strikes against you.

    Being in America, you’re not entirely immune to this as this nation wants black people to hate themselves. So, certain members of the black community, especially the church-going folk, take this in, and use that against their own members who are homosexual.

    As a side note I find it funny that people say that God is a kind and loving god but He hates a lot of people, especially gays and PoC, and they support it saying that the proof of is in the special book I like to call the bible.

  6. Excellent comment.
    I love the good church going folk who use the Good Book for racism, sexism and murder justification.
    This kind of thinking is why many people believe that all religious are cults.

  7. I have three cousins who are openly gay. One even got married. Since I was a kid, I thought men were erotic and complex creatures in all their guises. Since the gay man is looking and lusting after the same thing I am, I never really cared if some were gay. Gay behaviour occurs in nature so is therefore ‘natural’. As for the myth that people choose this lifestyle, that is a bunch of horseshit. Who in their right mind is going to choose to be derides, denigrated? As for the church or religions in general, they need to promote the golden rule, treat others as you wish to be treated. Easier said than done it would appear!

  8. I’ve known many black men who are in the closet for fear of the things I’ve listed and perhaps somethings I’ll never understand.

    The black man is horribly stigmatized in AmeriKlan culture, though. Apparently, sexuality doesn’t involve two penises.

  9. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I in finding It truly helpful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something again and help others such as you aided me.

  10. Tyrone on said:


    A gay blackman is seen as a waste of “black manhood” by blackwomen and women in general. As blackmen, we’re the cream of the male species, can have any and all women wrapped around our finger. Yet, for gay blackmen, that’s not good enuf. Personally, i don’t care if another blackman is gay, however, i don’t think it’s the best mode of behavior for our race at this time. Blackwomen need us more than other men do, they can’t impregnate themselves…Ditto! When the black population on this planet reaches critical mass, that’s when folk will cease to care about this issue.


  11. “fifa with the man dem”

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