The White Dictionary
Ever been in a conversation with white people? Ever had them say something that made you go, ” Hmmmmm….I wonder what they meant by that?” Well, here it is boys and girls. The White Dictionary ( with examples ).
1. Fauxpology : When a white person pretends to be apologetic about hurting your feelings but that’s a crock of shit.
White guy: Lisa is cute for a black girl.
Black guy: That’s racist, dude. Why’d you have to throw in her race?
White guy: I’m sorry if you took it that way.
2. Whitesplain: When a white person tries to explain that their ignorance/racism/hatred isn’t really racism by using a black friend/lover/child/ as a get-out-of-jail-free-card.
White guy: I’m not racist. It’s just that black people commit more crimes. Look up any statistic on the web. Even Mark agrees and he’s black too!
3. Whitearrhea: When white people have diarrhea of the mouth.
White guy: I can’t stand that black asshole! He’s not fit to be our manager. He should be picking up our trash.
Black guy: Black asshole, eh? Picking up trash? Sounds pretty racist to me.
White guy: Ummm…no. I mean…what I mean is. You know I’m not racist right? I have a pen pal from Africa. I used to..blah, blah.
4. Whanger: Where white people have convinced themselves that they are the victims in AmeriKlan and they’re not gonna take it anymore. The Tea Party suffers from this terrible disease. And most white republicans.
5. Whiteification: Where whites do whatever the fuck they wish but they have a justification for doing it.
White boy: Mom, I’m suspended from school.
Mom: Whatever for?
White boy: I blew up the place with a home-made bomb. A bunch of kids died.
Mom: Oh dear…Why did you do that?
White boy: Well, I watch too many rap videos so it’s not really my fault.
6. Whenvy: Where white people are maliciously envious of blacks but say hurtful things to deflect the truth.
White guy: The only reason that black guy got the job is Affirmative Action!
Black guy: Ummm…no. He has a Harvard law degree.
White guy: Oh, does he? I guess Harvard will let anyone in these days.
7. Uncle Cracker: When a white person actually hates their own race (for real) and doesn’t want anything to do with them. Not to be confused with a wigger, who just pretends to act black but enjoys white privilege.
8. Assholism: When liquor brings out the racist asshole in most whites. This tends to happen at company Christmas parties and at Mel Gibson’s house.
9. Whiteitis: When whites constantly ask you random ignorant, mind-numbing, stupid ass, motherfucking questions about being black.
White woman: Um, Lisa…how does your hair grow like that?
Black woman: Sue, it grows just like your does. Mine is just curly.
White woman: No…it’s different. You’re black.
10. Mandingitis: Where white women lust after big, black dick. Kim K wrote the book on this affliction.
11. Ostrichism: Where white people believe that racism is kept alive by PoC and guilt-ridden whites who talk about it and acknowledge that it still exists, and that the only way that racism would end is when we avoid or ignore it (bury their hands in the sand). Only then it would go away in their opinion. * Added by brothawolf. Check out his informative blog as he howls for change!
Folks, I’m constantly looking to add to my dictionary. If you can think of any other words, please let me know.