How to be White in AmeriKlan
1) Never speak any independent thoughts aloud. If they are against the herd mentality, you’ll be ostracized, looked at as being “different” and shamed into conformity.
2) Dress, speak, act, dance, live as they do. Period. Any deviation form the herd will brand you as “weird”, “eccentric” and white people will shy away from you at Christmas parties.
3) If you happen to be married/dating/living with a black person, keep it a secret. The last thing you need is whites believing you are different by association.
4) Never let on that you disagree with ANYTHING that other whites say, especially pertaining to blacks. You’ll be viewed as a traitor, which is worse than being a nigger.
5) Watch any white based TV show, movie or documentary. Make sure it’s on the “approved list” of things white people watch, though. If you feel what is being represented is false, quiet the thoughts in your head with statistics on black crime, black poverty, black rape, blacks going to prison, black welfare moms and how those blacks can’t seem to get their shit together.
6) Never own anything “too ethnic”. One piece of African art from the white owned store down the street is enough. Too many pieces will create too much attention.
7) Lust after black flesh. This is a must! But it must be done under the guise of research, helping the poor, trying to understand why those people are so different and how to play Hero. Take cues from Clinton, Bono, Sean Penn, Madonna and Jolie.
8) Listen to Tim Wise. After all, an educated white man is the personification of AmeriKlan. Wise, who says EXACTLY the same things blacks have been saying for centuries, is innovative, daring, smart, a trendsetter, an original and someone who tells it like it is.
9) Quote anything by MLK, Jr. If you find yourself in a rut and being challenged by a black person, verse King and it’s your get out of jail free card.
10) Claim that if only blacks tried harder, they wouldn’t be in this mess. After all, racism died when Obama became president.